Unleashed
by TStabler
Summary: When feelings bubble to the surface, in an interesting way, the secrets spill over and unleash something wild, something that can not be tamed, and something that might be dangerous. Or it might be amazing. Or it might be both. E/O, AU bits, Future M
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A new fic, hopefully a good one. You tell me.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler©**

Elliot looked around the office, his eyes darting to each of the certificates and degrees on the wall. He hoped someone with that many accolades could help him. He heard the door open behind him and he shut his eyes. He took a deep breath, and he fluttered his lids open to meet the doctor, now sitting behind her desk.

"Hello, Detective Stabler," the woman said, her thick British accent making him forget where he was for a moment.

He nodded. "Hi," he said, softly.

"Tell me, what is a stable, married, family man such as yourself doing in my office at six in the morning?" she asked. "Does your partner know you're here? Does anyone?"

He shook his head. "No," he said. "Liv doesn't know. God, she'd laugh like hell if she did. She's, uh, she's kind of the reason..." he shrugged off the rest of his phrase.

"Really?" the doctor asked, interested. "How so?"

Elliot sighed again, running a hand down his face. "I can't...I've been having these dreams...about her," he said, sounding mildly embarrassed. "I'm not sorry," he chuckled, "It's just...well, now they're carrying over into other aspects of my life. I almost called Kathy by Olivia's name a few times, I keep staring at Liv, wondering if my imagination is really doing her justice."

The doctor scribbled something down in her notebook, smirking. "So, you have feelings for her? Or is this just, do you imagine, a sexual attraction."

"Why the hell do you think I'm here?" he snapped, shifting in his seat. "I'm married, Doctor Bond, I'm not supposed to be in love with another woman. I'm sure as hell not supposed to be in love with my partner."

The doctor's pen dropped. She leaned forward. "In love?" she asked. "You're in love with her, then?"

He nodded, the fear and frustration etched into every bit of his face. "I have been," he said. "For a long time. I just...it's getting worse. It's hard to ignore it now, and I just...I don't wanna be...I can't be in love with her."

"Do you know how she feels about you? What I'm asking, has she done anything to feed this problem? Made you think there might be a chance? Led you on?"

"We flirt," he shrugged with a smirk. "It's playful, ya know. She's...she's my best friend." He grimaced. "God, that is so fucked up. Shouldn't I be saying that my wife is my best friend?"

Doctor Bond wrote something else down in her notebook. "Why are you here, Elliot? Tell me the truth," she said, not looking at him.

"I need to...I need an answer. I need to know if there's a way out of this. I can't hurt Kathy, I don't want to do that, but I can't just forget how I feel about Liv, either. I am so sick of going home at night and asking why Kathy can't be more like Olivia. You know, I prayed once, actually prayed that she'd leave me and make it easier on me. She almost did," he chuckled. "We were so close to a divorce, but then Liv...she's suck a fucking saint, she talked Kathy out of it. Why would she do that?"

"Isn't it obvious, Elliot?" the doctor asked.

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know why she did it," he said. "I was...I was hoping that you could...I dunno, hint around to her that I..."

Doctor Bond chuckled. She leaned over and smirked again. "You came to me, not Doctor Huang, not Doctor Hendrix, but me. You thought I would actually...you're a smart man for it, but I can't tell you that I'm going to completely disrupt my best friend's life for you." She sighed and her face fell into a frown. "All I can tell you now is, you're right. She does have feelings for you, but she's just broken up with Mark, Elliot. I'm not going to run to her with all of this because you think..."

"I'm not...what?" he asked, confused. "She has...what kind of feelings?"

"Detective Stabler," Doctor Bond replied, taking her glasses off and looking at him. "Are you here to save your marriage? Are you sitting here because you want to get over this infatuation with your partner, or are you here because you want my help getting Olivia? You need to answer that, before we can move forward."

"Neither," he said as he bit his lip. "Both," he said, shrugging, "I don't know." He cleared his throat. "I know I have a problem. I know I have to work with her for the next fourteen hours, pretending I don't wanna find out what flavor chap-stick she's wearing, pretending I don't wanna know how her body would move under mine, pretending I don't wanna know what sort of sounds she would make if I..."

"All right," Doctor Bond said, holding up a hand. "I understand. Just tell me the truth. Do you want to save what you have with Kathy, or are you here because you don't know how to tell your wife you aren't in love with her anymore? And you don't know how to tell Olivia you're in love with her?"

Elliot sighed. "I'll take what's behind door number two, Doctor Bond."

The doctor smiled at him. "Thursday, six o'clock, Elliot. Be here. We'll find out exactly how you feel about Olivia, see if this thing is really worth ending your marriage over. It could just be the temptation of the forbidden, you know. You want what you can't have."

He shook his head as he got out of his seat. "This is beyond that," he said. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm constantly wondering where she is, what she's doing. I'm only really...okay...when I'm with her. When I'm at work with her, or when we're out together after work, I don't think this is my mind playing tricks on me. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her, Becky."

The doctor smiled. "Well, see? We've just answered your first question haven't we? That's progress. Take this," she said, opening her drawer and pulling out a small notebook. "Anytime you have a thought, not work related, about Olivia, I want you to write it down. Do not voice it, just write it down and let it go. We'll look back on it on Thursday, and see how big this, uh, problem of yours really is."

He took the notebook, shaking his head and sighing. "All right," he said. "See you Thursday."

Doctor Bond watched Elliot leave, and she pulled out her cell phone. She knew it was against everything she believed in, everything she stood for, but this was something she'd been waiting for for years. She dialed a number, held her breath, and let out a small yelp when her friend picked up. "Olivia, love," she said, her smirk evident in her voice. "Can we move lunch up an hour? I have something to...no, don't bring Elliot. Nothing, no, I just...it's a girl thing. Eleven-thirty then," she made kissing noise and hung up.

She wasn't really betraying his confidence, after all, since this was why he'd come to her. He wanted her to tell Olivia. Didn't he? She only hoped this wouldn't backfire. Elliot was her patient now, Olivia was her friend, and she had gone from therapist to matchmaker in under thirty minutes. "Smooth, Stabler," she said with a knowing smile. She knew this was his plan, and she had fallen right into his trap.

**A/N: Was that what Elliot wanted? If Rebecca says anything, how will Olivia react? And on Thursday, something Elliot says changes things. And something else changes it all back. Do I keep going? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Becky talks to Olivia, and her reaction is priceless. Well, not really. It comes with a cost…eventually.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler©**

"Okay," Olivia said, twirling the stirrer in her drink. "Do you know how hard it was for me to resist the puppy eyes? Why wasn't he allowed to come, are we talking about your gynecologist or something?"

"No," Rebecca said, "But now that I think of it, I do have this rash…"

"Becks!" Olivia yelled.

Rebecca laughed and held up both hands. "Just joking, love. Everything down there is just peachy." She sipped her drink, made a sour face, and said, "Elliot couldn't come because this is…about him."

"Oh, dear Lord," Olivia said, rolling her eyes. "You've got a thing for him now?"

"Not at all," Rebecca said, sounding insulted. "I am satisfied with my own masterful cop, thank you." She took another sip and said, "He, uh, he came to see me."

Olivia stared for a moment. "Professionally?"

"Well, he didn't exactly ask me out for tea and crumpets!" Rebecca said. "Yes, professionally. He has a problem, and the only one who can help him with it is you."

Raising an eyebrow at her friend, Olivia sipped her martini, shook her head, and said, "If this has anything to do with him and Kathy, I am not helping…"

"He's thinking of leaving her," Rebecca interrupted.

Another sip. Another moment. "What do I have to do?" Olivia asked, leaning forward.

"Hold on, girl," Rebecca laughed. "First things first. Don't you want to know why he wants to leave her?"

"I don't need a reason," Olivia said, shaking her head. "Just tell me how to get him to ditch the bitch."

"You've really let him get to you, haven't you?" Rebecca asked, tilting her head.

Olivia shrank back in her seat. "Guess so," she said, as if just realizing it. "Was I just...was I really that eager to break up his marriage?"

Rebecca nodded. "He…he told me something…" she looked at Olivia and said, "You have to promise me you will not tell him I told you. You won't let on that you know anything at all. I think he's coming to me because he doesn't know how to tell you this himself."

"He's gay," Olivia said, her hand over her chest. "That's why he's never made a move…"

"Are you mad?" Rebecca asked. "A man with a libido like his? No, he isn't gay, you loon. He's just in love with you."

"Oh, well, that's a relief! I mean, if he was…" Olivia stopped. She held the drink in her hand an inch away from her mouth, and she froze. "Come again?"

Rebecca smirked, sipping her drink. "You heard me. You wouldn't look so terrified if you didn't."

"In love…me….Elliot? Are you sure that's what he said?" Olivia asked, finding it hard to believe.

Rebecca nodded. "I swear on my license, which I could lose for telling you this. I just think it would be easier on him if he knew…you know…how you felt. And now that you know he won't reject you, or laugh at you, which was the only thing keeping you from…"

"Oh, no," Olivia said. "I'm not pouring my heart out to him like that. Then he'll think I expect something, and it's not…are you sure he's leaving her?"

Rebecca bit her lip. "Sounded like that's what he wants," she said. "He isn't in love with her anymore, but he feels terribly guilty about it. He didn't want to fall in love with you, you understand."

"Oh, like I woke up one day and said, 'I'm gonna go ape-shit for my partner today," Olivia quipped. "I didn't really think falling in love with him was such a hot idea either."

"I never said you did, love," Rebecca said, sipping from her glass. "What are you going to do, though? Now that you know, I mean."

Olivia exhaled, slowly. She took a long sip of her drink, finishing it, and she said, "I'm going to try to forget you told me. You just made it even harder to be around him, knowing he wants me as much as I want him, and we can't do anything about it. Not yet." She sighed and shook her head. "Thanks, Becks."

"Livvy, love, I thought you'd be happy about this," Rebecca said. "He's all you talk about, all you think about. If I wasn't a sex therapist, I'd have had you on my couch long ago."

Olivia chuckled lightly. "I don't know what to do with this, Becks." She checked her watch and leaped up. "Now, I gotta get back to work." She bent over and kissed Rebecca's cheek. "Tell Peter I said hi."

"Will do, love," Rebecca said, watching her friend leave. She sighed, hoping she did the right thing.

* * *

Olivia walked back into the squad room, and she saw him by the coffee pot. Her first instinct was to unbutton the top button of her shirt and slink up next to him, say something in a sultry voice, but this was Elliot. This was her partner, her best friend, not some schmuck she was picking up in a seedy bar.

He turned to look at her and he smiled. "Hey."

She inhaled sharply, seeming shocked at the look in his eyes. She saw the love, for the first time, now that she was aware it existed. "Hey, yourself," she said, punching him playfully in the arm. She instantly felt like an idiot.

He laughed. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked. "You look kind of…pale."

"I'm fine," she said, draping her jacket over her chair. She had to make a conscious effort to keep her hands away from the collar of her shirt. "Did I miss anything?"

Elliot scoffed. "Mathers is in there giving Fin and Munch the run around, Cragen is trying like hell to convince McCoy to give us a new ADA because he and Casey are at each other's throats again, and…"

She looked up at him, waiting. She didn't exactly expect his next few words to be, "And I'm leaving Kathy so we can run away together into the sunset," but a girl could always dream. "And..?" she prodded.

"Why didn't you tell me you broke up with Mark?" he asked, sitting across from her.

She grimaced. Rebecca and her big mouth, she thought. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I didn't think you, uh, cared about whether or not I was seeing someone."

He raised an eyebrow. "Nine years together, and you don't think I care about your life outside of the precinct?"

She shrugged. "Look, El, it's not like I'm good at this whole relationship thing. We both knew I wasn't gonna marry the man. Hell, we both knew I wasn't even gonna get to a third date, so what's the big deal if I told you it was over or not? He's just another scene in the fucked up melodrama that is my love life."

"Maybe you just haven't found the right character," he said, eyeing her carefully. "You, uh, you go through these guys, not even getting a real date out of them because you're always working. Did you ever wonder why you don't make an honest attempt to make it work?"

She angled her head and narrowed her eyes. "I know why." She raised an eyebrow. "But I'd love to hear your theory, Doctor Freud."

He smirked. "You're waiting for someone, aren't you?" He saw the flicker of fear and embarrassment in her eyes, but he pressed on. "You're biding your time with these men who don't matter, hoping the one guy you think is actually fucking worth it will come along and sweep you off your feet."

Olivia looked away from him. "You're wrong," she said. "I actually never once thought he'd ever come for me, ever, so I wasn't really waiting for him. We broke up because Mark slept with the waitress he got to know the last time I had to cancel dinner." She took a breath and looked back at him. "Do we have a case, or what?"

He blinked. "Uh, yeah," he said, looking for the small, pink paper he had tossed on his desk. That conversation didn't go how he had planned. "We have a vic at Mercy, waiting for us to go talk to her."

Olivia looked into his eyes, and the emotions swirling in them now were enough to break her heart. She moved, and she saw a flash of lust cross his face as he cleared his throat. She smirked, knowing now that he really did want her. She held out a hand and got up, taking the paper. "Well, let's not keep her waiting anymore, huh?"

He nodded, and he held his breath as he watched her unbutton her collar and flatten it out, giving him the smallest peek at a bit of forbidden flesh. He swallowed hard and said, "Uh, that's a new shirt.'

She nodded. "You noticed," she said. She leaned over, shot him a smoky look, and she whispered, "I'm wearing new pants, too, El." She elbowed him playfully, remembering Rebecca's advice to act like nothing had changed, and she strode passed him. She didn't need to look over her shoulder to know he was staring at her ass as she moved.

"They, uh, they're very…they look good," he mumbled. He followed her into the elevator, watching her body language, trying to figure out what was off. Something was off.

Catching herself, realizing what she'd done and hating herself for it, Olivia chuckled and shook her head and moved to rebutton her collar. Elliot's hand shot out and stopped her, and she looked up. "What are you doing?"

"It's hot in here," he said softly. He moved away from her collar, but he didn't let go of her hand. "I have to tell you something."

She held her breath. Hearing it from him, hearing the words from his lips, it would change everything. She could easily forget that Rebecca had told her, but she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried, forget it if Elliot said it. "What?" she asked, her breath shaky.

He smirked, narrowing his eyes. "Mark's a fucking idiot." He moved closer to her. "Anyone who could pass you over for someone…anyone else…is a fucking idiot." He moved closer still, his breath stopping altogether.

She moved, she didn't even realize it, and her hands swept over his head, cupping his face for just a moment as they leaned toward each other.

The ding of the elevator made them jump, and they pulled away from each other. They looked at each other, stunned, and then Elliot cleared his throat. "We should…" he pointed to the opened elevator doors.

Olivia nodded and took a breath as she stepped out of the elevator.

Elliot followed her, wishing he had his notebook and a pen. He needed to write down everything running through his mind, and he needed to talk to Doctor Bond. What he had to say to her couldn't wait until Thursday.

**A/N: What does he say to her? Whose session does he barge in on? And he says something to Kathy…who repeats it to…Olivia? It won't be long until everything is…unleashed. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Elliot's second meeting with Rebecca, a slip of the tongue makes Kathy suspicious, and when the crew goes out for drinks, true colors shine through.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler©**

The door swung open, confusing the good doctor. She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. "You're damn lucky I wasn't with a patient, you know."

Elliot smirked. "I need another notebook," he said, sitting in a large, leather chair.

"Did you lose the one I gave you yesterday?" she asked, puzzled.

"No," he said, tossing it onto her desk. "It's full. Every single page. This is…this is a problem, Bond."

Rebecca reached for the black and white marbled pad, opened it, and flipped through the pages. "Oh, my God, Elliot!" She flipped some more pages, and she swore she felt herself blush.

Elliot chuckled at her reaction. "You told me to write down every thought…"

"I did," she said, clearing her throat. "But this is…this is all in one day?"

He shook his head. "That's only about eight hours." He took napkins, old receipts, small flip-top notepads, and a paper bag out of his jacket pockets. "That's the rest of the day."

Rebecca looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and shook her head. "Elliot, this is…this is beyond…the is outside my realm of…"

"I figured it would be," he interrupted. "Just tell me what to do. I can't get her out of my head, that's fucking obvious. I can't quit my job because then I'd never see her, and that…that would suck. I can't go home and tell Kathy it's over, because I'm not gonna destroy my family if Liv isn't…"

"She is," Rebecca said, closing her eyes. She let out a deep breath, knowing she was breaking a much more important confidence than she had yesterday. "She loves you, Elliot. We talked yesterday, and I…"

"You told her!" Elliot snapped. "You told her, that's why she...with the buttons and the elevator!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I assure you, the minute the words sunk in…she flipped," Rebecca said. "Go easy on her, her world was just turned upside down, and she's made it very clear she isn't going to do anything about it until she heard it from you. She didn't exactly believe me." She tilted her head, then asked, "Elevator?"

He sunk back in his chair and ran a hand down his face. "We almost kissed in the elevator." He smiled a bit as the memory came back. "It was this moment, I had her hand in mine, she reached up and…her hands are so soft," he said, his eyes closing. "We moved, and she wanted it as much as I did, I saw it in her eyes."

"Did you kiss her?" Rebecca asked, into the story.

He shook his head. "The doors opened and she…we kinda freaked out. The rest of the night…wasn't so much fun. It was awkward, it wasn't a good time."

Rebecca sighed, opened her desk drawer, and pulled out another notebook. "Here," she said. "But can I give you some advice?"

"That's why I'm coming here," he said, nodding.

She smiled and tilted her head. "Just for today, try voicing a couple of these thoughts. Try actually talking to her about this. She's willing, Elliot, as long you are."

Elliot took the notebook, his eyes fell. "I don't know if I can," he whispered. "What if I fuck everything up and she ends up hating me?"

Rebecca gave him a reassuring grin. "Trust me, I'm a doctor."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," he said, getting up. He waved a hand at her as he left her office, hoping things at work would be better today.

Rebecca looked down at the pile of paper, filled with Elliot's ramblings about Olivia. She picked up a small note, read it, and reached for her phone. She hoped Olivia's voicemail had a long recording time.

* * *

"Hey," he said, dropping a cup of coffee on Olivia's desk.

She looked up, blowing the tip of her freshly sharpened pencil. "Hey," she said. "Thanks."

He nodded. "We got anything?"

She handed him a file. "Waiting for Fin and Munch to get back from the scene, but the interrogation and investigation is ours." She tilted her head and said, "Your wife called, by the way. I tried to take a message for you, but she hung up on me." She smirked and said, "Sweet, little woman you got there, Stabler."

He scoffed. "Yeah," he hissed, sitting down. "She's a real gem." He picked up the phone and dialed his home number. He waited, and then looked at Olivia, into her eyes, as he said, "Yeah, why the hell did you hang up on Liv?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow and chuckled, then turned her attention to the paperwork on her desk.

"Listen, uh, I'm not gonna be home tonight, we got a case that…probably in the cribs, why do you care? Maybe I will, that's a good idea, thanks. I'll ask her." He chuckled and said, "I already called her principal, it wasn't her fault, she has detention for two days, no permanent record…Kathy, I handled it! No, I did not threaten…God, can we have one conversation without fighting?"

Olivia tried to ignore what he was saying, but the conversation was too intriguing to ignore. She looked up, catching his eye.

"It's times like this I wish you were more like Liv, ya know, we fight but it's never because…" he pulled the receiver away from him. "She hung up on me."

"I wonder why," Olivia said, her face completely blank. "I would have hung up on you, too."

He chuckled. "She says hi," he told her with a wink.

"What were her exact words?" she asked, smirking.

"Oh, I can't repeat them at work," he told her. "I'd have to arrest myself." He sipped his coffee and chuckled. "Hey, uh, I told Kathy I…"

"I heard what you told her," she sighed. "You lied to your wife, Elliot, that was not a smart move. This case isn't gonna last…"

He interrupted her and said, "Come out for a couple drinks tonight. It's Wednesday night, me and Fin and Munch go down to O'Malley's every Wednesday, you should come."

She raised an eyebrow. "Uh, a night out with the fallas? Sounds tempting. I'll pass, though, thanks. Only so much talk about football and boobs I can take."

He laughed. "We don't talk about football," he said, catching her eye. He winked as she chuckled. "So you'll come?"

She ran a hand through her hair and said, "One drink. The first cheesy pick-up line or comment about my ass…"

"They know I'd kill 'em," he said, interrupting. "Trust me, with me around you're completely safe."

She felt goosebumps rise all over her body at his words, and she knew he was the last person she'd be safe with tonight.

* * *

The bar was smoky, reeked of stale beer and cheese and sweat. Olivia sat on the stool, her beer in hand, and she looked at Fin. "Your turn," she said, checking her watch. "Make it fast, some of us have to on-call tonight."

Fin laughed and nodded. "Right, you and Stabler are the emergency guys tonight, huh?"

She nodded. "Go," she said.

Fin looked around the bar, noticed a man staring in their direction, and he grinned. "All right, that guy. Married, three kids, the wife let herself go. He came here hoping to spend some time with the guys, but then he sees you, and he's reminded of everything he could have had, if he wasn't…"

"Are you high?" Munch asked. "He's staring at Olivia because she's hot, man. Every guy in the place has checked her out at least once. Can you give us something less obvious?"

"You want less obvious?" Fin asked, turning his head. "Fine. You and me, Munch, pool table. We'll settle this in a much less obvious way when I whoop your ass."

Munch chuckled and looked at Elliot. "You coming?"

Elliot swallowed his gulp of beer, and he said, "I don't wanna play." He popped a pretzel into his mouth and said, "But you were right, Munch. Every guy in here's been checking out Liv." He took another sip of his beer and eyed his partner. "Can't say I blame them. She's got the perfect body."

She turned to him, her eyes narrow. "Excuse me?" she spat. "How much have you had to drink?"

Fin and Munch walked away, avoiding the fight they knew was coming, and began to play their game of pool.

"El," Olivia said, prodding him for an answer.

"Not enough," he said. "I was just…taking a friend's advice and just saying what I think, ya know?"

She narrowed her eyes even more and spun her stool to face him completely. "You think I…"

"You're gorgeous, Liv," he said in a whisper. "Every guy in here has been staring at you, and it's because you're fucking beautiful, and you have this…you just give off this vibe, it's magnetic."

She took the bottle out of his hand and said, "Go home, Elliot."

He laughed. "I can't. I told Kathy I wasn't going home tonight." He raised an eyebrow at her and lowered his voice again. "She actually told me to stay with you tonight."

Not looking at him, she chugged the last of her beer, grabbed her jacket, and said, "You've got to be…" She was interrupted by the buzz of her cell phone. She looked at it and sighed. "Stupid voicemail. It's been buzzing all damn day."

"You should just check it, then," Elliot said, having an idea who had called.

Olivia chuckled and clicked the button, holding the device to her ear. As the message played, she let her eyes widen. Her lips pressed together, she let out a small, moaning noise, and she looked at Elliot out of the corners of her eyes.

"What is it?" he asked. "Liv?" he bugged, nudging her in the side.

She looked at him, hung up, and blinked once. "I just…I have to go," she said, getting off the stool. She was almost passed him when he grabbed her arm.

"Was that Rebecca?" he asked.

She didn't turn around, she didn't even nod. Her silence was all the answer he needed.

"I'm not drunk," he said. "I'm not crazy, and I don't need sleep, and I haven't been experimenting with any kind of drugs." He watched her turn around, met her eyes, and he smiled. "I know you're trying to find an excuse that would make this all go away, but you can't."

She closed her eyes for a moment, pulled her arm out of his grasp, and said, "I have to." She turned, walked away, and tried to forget everything Rebecca had just told her.

The footsteps she heard behind her let her know that forgetting was not an option.

**A/N: Who's following her? Does she let Elliot stay with her, or will he be spending the night in the cribs? They catch a midnight case! And Kathy gives Olivia a call, but why? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Actions speak louder than words. Unless you're yelling… **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and related characters/ideas belong to Dick Wolf. Original plot and dialogue belong to TStabler©**

Olivia let him follow her, too tired to fight and too drunk to trust herself with him. She simply yelled over her shoulder, "Go home!"

"Not until we talk about this," he yelled back, walking faster and catching up. He breathed heavily into her ear, his hot breath warming her through the chill of the frigid night air.

A shiver traveled down her side in response, and she shook her head. "Go home to your wife and kids, Elliot. This…whatever this is…you'll get over it."

He laughed bitterly. "You think so? You really think so? I don't. It's been going on for years, Liv, and I tried to move on, I tried to forget about it, but it hasn't worked. Nothing has fucking worked."

She turned on him, her eyes glaring as she looked into his. "What do you want from me, Elliot? Do you want me to tell you how happy this makes me? How thrilled I am that I have this power over you, like the kind you have over me? How ecstatic I am that if I say the right thing, I can be the other woman and destroy everything you worked to build up? Yeah, I'm really fucking happy about all of it!"

He watched, letting her storm off for a moment, then ran back to her side. "I'm not exactly happy, here! I can't…you don't know what it's like, being married to someone you have no feelings left for. You don't know how hard it is to look at your kids…"

"Don't throw that it my face, Elliot!" she yelled, interrupting as her foot landed on the first step up to her building. "Not now!" She turned and jetted up the stairs.

"Damn it, Liv! I'm not!" he spat back, climbing the steps to meet her. He grabbed her hand as it rested on the door handle. "I'm trying to explain. I didn't want this to happen. Not…not like this."

"Not at all," she mumbled, looking away from him.

"That's not what I said, is it?" he asked, his voice demanding but pleading at once.

She looked at him, her eyes meeting his. The emotions swirling in her eyes gave her goosebumps, she pushed her door open. "No," she whispered, a part of her hating the fact that he was serious about all of this.

"What did she say to you?" Elliot asked after a long moment of silence. They were in the elevator on the way up to her floor.

"Who?" she asked, trying to forget the words that spilled from Rebecca's mouth into her ear, that felt like the juiciest romance novel in the world. She was still worked up about it all, which added to her tension and anxiety.

"Doctor Bond," he said, raising an eyebrow as the doors opened.

She shook her head as she stepped out of the lift and fished in her pocket for her keys. "Nothing," she lied, unable to repeat his words.

"Liv," he said, right behind her as she fumbled with lock to her apartment. "Odds are, I already know, so just tell me what she told you, and embarrass the shit out of me already." He closed the door behind him, stepping into her apartment.

She flicked in the light, hung her coat, scarf, and hat on the hooks on the wall, and she glanced at him. She let out a shaky breath. "Her lips, the way the move when she talks or smiles or breathes, they make me wonder how they'd move over my body, on my skin," she quoted, her eyes fluttering shut. "You actually…"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I did. You wanna hear some of the other stuff? I have it all fucking memorized, because I just can't stop thinking about it!"

She took a breath, startled at his sudden anger, and shook her head as she backed away. "No, El." She headed for the hallway. "I didn't even wanna hear that."

Elliot threw his hands up. "God, why is this so fucking…"

"The pillow and blankets are in the closet, where you left them last time," she said, cutting him off. "Make yourself at home, and try not to drool on the leather, huh?" Her attempt at a joke fell flat.

He looked at her for w second, then shrugged, defeated. "So we're not gonna talk about this? We're not gonna do anything about this? Rebecca told me that you felt the same way, Liv, I don't think she'd…"

"She told you?" she snapped, her eyes widening.

He pressed his lips together, nodding slowly.

"She had no right to…" she bounded back toward her door, grabbing her coat and hat. "I'm gonna kill her!"

He ran to her, stilling her hands. His touch shot electricity through her system, and he held her gaze, which did nothing to calm her down. "Listen to me," he whispered. "She told me because she knew you wouldn't. I know this is messed up, and I know this is like playing with matches in a propane tank, but…there's only so much waiting I can do."

She swallowed hard, his eyes burning into hers. "El, I don't wanna…"

"Just tell me she wasn't lying to make me feel better about this," he whispered, drawing closer to her. "Tell me, Liv," he told her softly, his hands running up her arms, sending those same chills down her back again. "Tell me, baby. Tell me this isn't…"

"Yes," she blurted out in a hard breath. "Yes, El, I…she was right. She told you the truth, okay? You know, and…and I know…and now we're even more screwed than we were before."

"What makes you say that?" he asked, tilting his head.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she felt his hands settle on her back. "Because it hurt enough to love you the way I…and, thinking you didn't want me. Do you know how much it's gonna kill me to know that you do really love me, and I still can't have you?"

His eyes softened, he dropped his hands from her arms as she hung her coat back on the hook, looking almost broken. "Liv," he said. A soft prayer-like whisper. "You can."

She shook her head, trying desperately to get around him, away from him. "You don't know what you're saying. What you're offering."

He grabbed her arm as she walked by, pulling her toward him. He clenched as jaw as their faces were a mere inch away from one another. "I know exactly what I'm saying, and I damn well know what I'm offering."

She had to struggle to stay standing. Her knees were buckling and her legs were shaking. "El," she said on a breath, "If this starts, you know we'd have no control over…"

"I don't have any control now," he hissed, cutting her off. "So what does it matter?"

She held her breath as he moved closer to her. She gasped in fear and excitement when his lips brushed over hers, and she let out a soft cry when he finally pressed them down, kissing her.

It lasted longer than it should have, since it shouldn't have happened at all. She gave him a gentle shove, her eyes searched his for any sign of regret or worry. Seeing nothing but love, she shook her head and backed out of his hold. "You just..."

"Yeah, I did," he said. "I'm not confused anymore. I think I..."

"Go to sleep, Elliot," she said, turning away from him. "We're on-call tonight, remember? We need to be clear headed, and that...that definitely did not clear my head."

He chuckled. "Well, it cleared mine," he said. "You, uh, you're really gonna make me sleep on the couch tonight?"

She turned to him, and he gasped. His face froze as he looked at her. The heat in her eyes was burning through him.

"Yeah, I am," she said, her voice dropping almost a full octave from its usually low tone. "I don't trust myself with you." She bit her lip, still feeling the tingle and power of his kiss. "Not anymore."

He smirked. "Goodnight, Liv," he said. "Sweet dreams."

She raised an eyebrow at his arrogance, assuming she would dream of him. She didn't have the courage to tell him he was right. She walked into her bedroom, plopped onto the bed, and for the first time in her life, she prayed the phone would ring, calling them to a scene. If she closed her yes, she'd be tempted by her fantasies to make them real, now that she could.

The kiss sparked something inside of her, something she was finding it hard to control, something she was afraid to let loose. And she knew she had to keep it in check or there would be Hell to pay.

Her eyes darted to the bedroom door, and a terrifying thought flashed in her mind. She smirked, an evil, sexy grin, and she chuckled. Hell, she thought. She could probably afford it.

She was snapped out of her dangerous daze when her door swung open. "Liv," he said, staring at her. He was taken aback by the expression still on her face, and had to hide his obvious arousal as he cleared his throat. "We got a call," he said.

She rose from her spot on the bed, ran a hand through her hair, and stopped a few centimeters from him. She tilted her head, and asked, "You think we can handle it?"

Knowing she didn't mean the case, he nodded. "I know we can."

She sighed, walked out of her bedroom, and said, "Whatever." She was not convinced.

He watched her grab her gun, then throw on her jacket and hat. He sucked in a breath as he realized what was happening, what had just unleashed itself. He looked at his watch and muttered a curse, realizing he had a meeting with Rebecca in a few hours. Showing up tired and cranky, on top of having just experienced the most thrilling kiss of his life, would make for a very interesting session.

He grabbed the notebook that rested on the coffee table, looked back toward Olivia, and followed her out of the apartment. It was time she knew everything. Well, almost everything.

**A/N: Elliot lets a few secrets out, to Olivia and some others to Rebecca. What happens when Doctor Bond opens her big mouth again? And Kathy gets possessive. How will Elliot react? Review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: One step forward, two steps back.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and related characters/ideas belong to Dick Wolf. Original plot and dialogue belong to TStabler©**

She was almost frozen solid when she got to the body, in the middle of a snow-covered pile of grass in Central Park. She looked down, taking off her warm wool glove and snapping on a latex one in its place, and she shook her head. "How long?" she asked.

Melinda Warner looked up and said, "Liver temp isn't accurate. It's freezing out here, and she's either frozen stiff or in full rigor."

"Do you have an ID?" Olivia asked, dropping down to the frozen ground.

Melinda shook her head. "No purse or Wallet, nothing on her."

"Do you have a cause of death at least?" Elliot asked, rubbing his hands together and breathing into them.

Melinda pointed to the woman's naked chest. "There's a hole here, small diameter, whatever made it punctured her heart. She died almost immediately, but there's no way to tell what the weapon was. At least, not out here. But here's where it gets creepy. The wound...her heart and the surrounding skin...shows signs of frostbite."

Elliot shrugged. "Well, if she's been out here for any amount of time..."

"The rest of her body is just cold," Melinda interrupted. "She was dead long before the rest of her body dropped down to a low enough temp to cause it. It's severe, just around the hole."

"An icicle," Olivia said, looking up and pointing. "They're all over the trees, El."

"You want me to believe she was raped, and then stabbed with an icicle?" Elliot shook his head, his arms folded.

Olivia looked down again and said, "Maybe it was the perp's way of calling her cold-hearted." She and Elliot shared a small laugh, and a look that meant more than it should have, and then she said, "It would make sense, I mean, the evidence melts. No prints, no nothing."

"I wouldn't say nothing," Melinda said, smirking. "I found fluids on her thigh and stomach. The sample's frozen, but viable."

Elliot shoved his hands in his pockets and said, "Great. Get her on your table, warm her up, and tell us how long she's been out here."

Melinda nodded, then said, "While I'm doing that, you may want to get your partner down from there."

Elliot looked confused, but then he turned. "Liv! What are you doing up there?"

Halfway up a tree, she looked down and yelled, "Getting our murder weapon!" She carefully climbed down, holding three large icicles in her hands. "Do you have any way of keeping these frozen in transit?"

Melinda raised an eyebrow. "Same way we keep organs cold, Detective. There's a cooler in the fan."

"Thanks," Olivia said with a smile, walking toward the black vehicle. She opened the back door, found the cooler filled with dry ice, and dropped the icicles carefully into it. She slammed the doors closed and turned, jumping a bit when she found herself way too close to Elliot. "Shit," she said, backing away a bit.

"An icicle?" he asked, smirking. "You watch too much TV."

She pulled off her latex glove and pulled on her wool one. She repeated the process on her other hand, and she said, "It's freezing out here, El. The guy attacks her in the park, realizes he can't let her live or she'll talk, he panics and he grabs the most convenient, pointy object."

"You really think that's what happened?" he asked.

"Could have been premeditated, too," she said, walking back to the car. "He could have known exactly what would happen if the ice melted. He thought he would get away with it."

He looked at her as they trudged up the hill. "It's a good theory, Liv."

She raised an eyebrow. "You know I'm right," she said.

"I know you're freezing," he said, running a hand up and down her back. "And you climbed a tree to prove your point, so how can I not back you up on this?"

She pulled her coat tighter around her, moved a bit closer to him, and she looked up with lidded eyes under her wool hat. "You don't get any closer to getting laid if you agree with me. You know that, don't you?"

He chuckled. "It's really a good theory, Liv," he said, opening the door to the car for her. She got in, he closed the door, and he sighed. He had to tell her, and he was running out of time.

* * *

Rebecca Bond's door flew open, and she didn't even look up. "I'm getting bloody tired of you just barging in here, Detective Stabler."

Elliot sat in the chair and sighed. "I can't do this. I tried, but every time I opened my mouth, something stupid came out."

"How is that any different from what happens normally?" Rebecca asked, smirking.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "This is serious, Becky. I...I kissed her last night. She...she kissed me, but we...we were drinking and..."

"And you want me to tell you it wasn't the alcohol?" she interjected.

He nodded. "Things...I mean after that, we went right to work, and it...she was so fucking...professional."

Rebecca blinked. "Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a boy?" She leaned forward and said, "She has trained herself, very hard over the years, to ignore her feelings for you when she's at work. You know how much trouble you could be in if..."

"I know," he cut in, "But I just...I need to tell her. I need to tell her everything."

"Olivia?" Rebecca asked. "Elliot, you've been keeping this from her for years, I'm sure you can wait a few more..."

"Kathy," Elliot said. "I have to tell Kathy everything. I can't...I can't go home tonight and pretend everything's fine. Liv, I mean, the second my lips were on hers, I just..." He ran a hand down his face and said, "I have to tell you something, and I need to know that you will not tell Liv. I'm serious. This is strictly doctor-patient shit."

Rebecca nodded, grabbing a pen and staring at him. "Go," she said, eager to hear what he had to say.

Elliot bit his lip. "I'm addicted to sex. With Liv, I mean. I can't...I have to close my eyes, and I have to think about her, and I have to...it only works when I'm fantasizing about her."

Rebecca eyes him for a moment. "You're in love with her, Elliot. It's completely natural to think about the woman you love when you're making love. I'd hardly call that an addiction to sex."

"Is it completely natural to think about her in the shower? At the gym? When I'm helping my kids with their chemistry homework?" he asked. "There are only so many times I can 'go to the bathroom' before someone suggests I see a doctor."

"You are seeing a doctor, now," Rebecca said as she smirked. "So you think that if you don't leave Kathy, you won't be able to keep yourself from acting out these fantasies with the real thing, now that you know she won't turn you away, thus making you a very big asshole."

Elliot frowned. "Well, when you put it like that..." he paused. "Yeah, exactly. I don't wanna hurt Kathy anymore than I already have, and I can't make Liv the other woman, she doesn't deserve that. When it happens with her, I wanna be able to stay with her, wake up with her. I don't wanna have to lie about it, or feel guilty about it."

"That's commendable," Rebecca said with a nod.

"That's what I need," he returned. "I want it with her, and I want it to be real."

Rebecca sighed. She looked down and said, "I have a patient coming in, in about ten minutes, as you're late."

"We had a case," he said. "I came as soon as I could."

Rebecca nodded. "Well, with the few moments we have left, I need that notebook. The insights it could give me..."

"I gave it to Liv." He looked at the doctor for a reaction. "I left it with her, and I told her to read it."

Rebecca's hand rose, covering her mouth as her eyes closed. "You stupid, stupid man."

Elliot furrowed his brow. "How is that...you told me to tell her that..."

"Elliot, she has been crazy for you for a long time," Rebecca jumped in. "Reading that will make her...I just hope you're prepared for the consequences."

"I am," he said, standing up. "And I need another notebook."

Rebecca said nothing as she opened her bottom draw and pulled out another marble notebook. "Write smaller," she said. She sighed as she watched Elliot leave, hoping Olivia wouldn't overreact.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Olivia asked, irritated as she watched Elliot walk back in. The icepack against her left cheek made it hard to look threatening, but she managed.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked, running to her.

"I asked you first," she gruffed as he pulled her hand away from her face.

He gasped as he looked at the purple bruise, and he said, "I had a doctor's appointment." He dropped his voice and whispered, "What happened, baby?"

She raised an eyebrow at the term of endearment, but she answered him. "As soon as you left, Melinda got a hit on the DNA from our frozen girl. It was a fast test, so it was only a partial match, but he had a record. Fin and I went to get him and..."

"And he thought Benson was a gift," Fin broke in. "He thought I was his new...he called me a delivery man, and he pulled her into the house, punched her, and tried to get her shirt off."

"I kicked him, punched him back, then pulled my gun on him," Olivia said.

Fin chuckled. "He stopped tryin' to get at her," he said. "You shoulda seen it, Stabler, she was a firecracker."

Elliot ran a finger over her cheek as his face took on a somber expression. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

She nodded at him, and she sighed. "You're here, now, and he's in the box waiting for a good dose of Doctor Elliot's surefire cure for being a dick."

He chuckled and walked with her toward the interrogation room. "Oh, uh, I have to ask...did you, uh, did you read that..."

"Some of it," she said. "I couldn't really read it with Fin right there, and I can't exactly read it here at the station, where people can see me blushing. Or hear me moaning."

"And?" he asked, slightly afraid.

Olivia stopped in front of the door, looked at him, and she swallowed hard. "And..." she blinked, she couldn't tear her eyes away from his, and she felt her heart racing. "You'd better be prepared to prove all of it."

"Every single bit," he said. He saw her eyes darken, he moved closer to her, he took her hand, and he kissed her. It was silk against sandpaper, sweet and spicy, and they felt themselves falling into a bottomless pit, and falling fast.

Suddenly, she shoved him back, panting slightly. "Damn it," she hissed. "We...we shouldn't have done that. Why the hell did you...we're at work!"

"I couldn't help it," he whispered. "I can't help it, Liv. You know I can't. You...I let you into my head. You're all I want, all the time."

"I can't be!" she snapped. "Not at work!" She was the flash of hurt in his eyes and she said, "After work is another story." She took a deep breath and said, "You said you wanted this, you started it, you can't change your mind now."

"I don't plan on it," he said, his voice low.

She nodded. "Let's nail this son of a bitch to the wall, and..."

His phone rang, interrupting her words, and he answered it, looking at her apologetically. "Stabler. Kathy? At work, where do you...on her couch, but I didn't get much sleep. We were called to a scene at...tonight? Why? You want to what? Yeah, that...that's a good idea. I need to talk to you, too. It's pretty important, yeah. Serious."

Olivia closed her eyes and looked toward the door to the interrogation room. Her plans for the evening had just been shot by the only thing still standing in the way of her happiness.

"I gotta go," Elliot said. "Yes, with Liv. Who else would...why would I need a new partner? You did what? Is that what you wanted to talk about? Kathy, I...we will talk about this later." He snapped his phone shut and growled. "Bitch."

"What happened?" she asked, scared now.

He looked at her and he sighed. "Kathy called the captain, told her I needed transfer forms. She wants to put a down payment on a house in Long Island. That's what she wants to talk about tonight."

She died. She felt like she was dying. Her face fell and paled and she felt weak, unable to stand upright. "Oh, my God," she said, losing her balance completely.

"Liv, don't...stop it, baby," he said, grabbing her to keep her steady. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

She took a deep breath and she felt the stinging behind her eyes, the beginning of tears. "Let's just do this," she said, shaking him off and walking into the interrogation room.

Elliot followed her, his mind on several things that were not the job. He had to talk to Cragen, he had to talk to Kathy, and then he needed to be back at Olivia's before she gave up on him. On them. On what he had planned for the night.

Because he did have plans for the night. Big ones.

**A/N: What will Cragen say? An interesting conversation with Kathy, that leads to a very possessive move on her part, and a night with Olivia. Review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Too much talking, and then not enough.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler©**

Elliot looked around the restaurant, his eyes wide. He found the table at which Kathy was sitting, and he ran over to her and sat, fire in his eyes. "Before you even start, I am not moving to Long Island, and I am not transferring."

Kathy sighed. "Elliot, let's talk about this," she said. "Listen to me. It would be a new start, a new beginning for us. We can start over there, and nothing would..."

"I don't...Kathy, I love you, I do, but not like you need me to...I don't want any of that," he said, his eyes closing as he sighed. "I want...I actually wanted to tell you I signed the papers."

Kathy sipped her water and let out an unsure laugh. "The transfer papers? I thought you just said..."

"The divorce papers," he interrupted. "The ones you always used to threaten me with that have been sitting in a drawer in the living room for the last year. I signed them." He shook his head. "I guess I didn't think of it as such a threat anymore."

"You...Elliot, why?" Kathy asked, her heart stopping. "I thought we were...we were doing good. I mean...we've been doing a lot better."

He rolled his eyes. "Because we had sex? Kathy, it was, like, twice, in the last year, if that. I...did you notice that I never turned the lights on? That I had my eyes closed? That I didn't say anything?" He raised an eyebrow and said, "Did you notice we were...careful? So fucking careful."

Kathy shrugged. "I just thought you didn't want anymore kids," she said. "I thought you were being really intimate, I..."

"I couldn't look at you, Kathy." He hated saying it, but she had to know. "I'm not saying this to hurt you, I think you're beautiful. I always have, but...I couldn't...I was thinking about..."

"Oh, my God," Kathy said, stopping him. "Tell me you're...you aren't...are you talking about her?"

"She has a name," he spat.

Kathy scoffed. "You are," she hissed. "You're gonna throw everything we have away for some slut at work?"

"What do we have, Kathy?" he asked, angry. "We have a few nights a week where we spend some time in the same room and fight! We have a few mornings when we help get our children out of the house before we fight! All we do is fight!"

Kathy shook her head. "If we moved out of the city..."

"Then we would be fighting someplace else," he said. He shook his head and said, "Kathy, we've been shutting each other out for years, even before Liv and I met, so you can't blame her. What you can blame her for is making me realize how unhappy I really am, and that I need to change things."

Kathy folded her arms. "I can't," she said, shaking her head. "No way, Elliot. I refuse to have it go down this way. This is not how this is happening."

Elliot stared at her for a moment. "It just happened," he said.

"Have you fucked her, yet?" Kathy asked bluntly. "She blow you in the locker room? You two bang on the captain's desk and now you feel obligated to her or something?"

"Stop it, Kathy!" he yelled back. "Seriously, that is shit, and you know it! I signed them so I wouldn't...no, nothing has happened with her yet, she doesn't even know I..."

"Good," Kathy cut in. "So forget about it, I'll shred the papers tomorrow, and we can..."

"Damn it, Kathy," he hissed, grabbing both of her hands and forcing her to look at him. "Are you fighting so hard because you love me, or because you just don't wanna lose me to Liv?"

Kathy narrowed her eyes. "Fuck you, Elliot," she said, ripping her hands away from him. There was a long moment of silence, and then she blinked. She looked at him and she asked, "Are you in love with her?"

He ran a hand down his face and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Answer me," Kathy said, her voice softer. "Are you really in love with her? Because if I let you go and you fuck her once and you come crawling back because it was just some stupid infatuation, don't expect me to..."

"I am," he said, stopping her speech. "I wouldn't...I would not be doing this if I wasn't absolutely sure I'm in love with her." He took her hand again. "I am doing it because you don't deserve this, Kathy. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, really with you. My options here were cheat on you for the next fifty years or end this so we could be happy with people who...who will make us happy." He brushed his thumb over her knuckles and said, "I haven't made you happy in years."

"You're sucking at it right now, that's for damn sure," Kathy said with a small chuckle. She looked at her hand in his, and she shook her head. "When did this stop being so great?" she asked, squeezing his hand. "When did this all turn so sour on us?"

He blinked, then shrugged. "I don't know, Kath. All I know is, there's still time to make it right before we really hate each other."

"You really...what are we gonna do about the kids?" she asked, her fingers teasing the skin in between his.

He pulled his hand away from hers, feeling uncomfortable, and he said, "I don't hate you, Kathy. This isn't a bitter split, is it? You wanted to leave me long ago, I was always the one holding on," he told her.

Kathy looked at him. "Yeah," she said, nodding. "I just hate making them bounce back and forth every month."

Elliot took a sip pf her water, then said, "Well, that's joint custody, and that's what I'm fighting for."

"You don't have to fight," Kathy told him, shaking her head. "It's what's best for them, for us." She looked at him and said, "I'm so sorry, Elliot."

"Me, too, Kathy," he said, smiling sadly. He stood up, kissed her on the cheek, and said, "Goodbye."

"Bye, Elliot," Kathy returned, and she watched him walk out of the restaurant, and out of her life.

* * *

He drove recklessly, and he ran up the steps as fast as he could, cursing the broken elevator. He made it to her floor, and he stood, panting, as he looked at her door. He didn't know what to do now. Did he knock? Did he use his key? Did he just kick the door in like he so desperately wanted to?

He was saved from making the decision when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned, and his jaw dropped. "You...you look...why do you look like that?"

"I've always blamed the man who raped my mother," she said, "But I've learned to live with it."

He smirked. "I meant, why are you...you look...hot."

She chuckled. "I was going for gorgeous, but hot works." She raised an eyebrow and shoved her key into her lock. "Why are you staring at my door?"

"I was...thinking about knocking," he said. He tilted his head and asked his question again. "Why are you all dressed up?"

"I went out," she said. "I'm allowed to do that, right?"

"With who?" he asked, suddenly panicking as he followed her into the apartment. "Were you...were you on a date?"

"I was out with Becky, Alex, and Karen." She dropped her clutch on the couch and folded her arms. "I could have been on a date, though, if I wanted to. Why does it matter?"

He widened his eyes and shook his head. "Why does it...are you serious?"

She headed into her bedroom, ignoring his question, feeling certain his night with Kathy ended with them fixing things.

He followed her, and as he walked into her room, he saw his notebook on her bed, opened, face down. He smirked. "Read any good books lately?"

She turned. "You know I have," she said. "Why are you in here, exactly?"

"I have to tell you something," he said, walking toward her. "And I want you to shut up until I'm done."

She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

He let his hands move to her shoulders and he slid them down, over her arms, and then back up. "I told her. I told her it was over, and I told her I wanted to be with you." He saw her eyes widen, and he waited. When she said nothing, her continued. "I want to be with you, Liv. Starting now. Tonight."

She tried to process what she was hearing, the words really coming out of his mouth, the step really being taken. "You...you told her that..."

She couldn't finish her sentence because his lips had covered hers, his hands were tugging her arms open and down, and he was pulling her close to him. She couldn't think, she could only feel, and react. Her arms wound around him and she returned his kiss hungrily.

He moaned, and his hands shook as he moved them up and down her back. He was pulling on the zipper of her dress without realizing it, and he was pulling her toward the bed unconsciously.

She was following his every move, following wherever he was leading, and her hands slid up his shirt, popping the buttons open.

He didn't let the kiss break, he shoved her dress to the floor and shrugged out of his jacket and shirt, and their hands tangled as they fought with the rest of the clothing. He had her naked and underneath him in moments, without thinking.

They weren't thinking. Not at all. Just feeling, moving, acting. Her nails dug into his back and she moaned his name when he inched his way inside of her. He gasped, and his eyes closed, her name spilling from his lips like a beautiful sonnet.

It was more powerful a feeling than he imagined, it was better than any fantasy he'd had. He kissed her everywhere he could and he murmured "I love you," over and over into her ear softly, then louder, then softer again. Following his rhythmically moving hips.

She returned his moans, his grunts, his thrusts, but not his words. She was beyond words, not thinking clearly at all, only feeling, letting herself feel what was passing between them. She pushed rational thought to the back of her mind.

It happened so fast, unplanned, undiscussed. It happened because they'd been fighting it for far too long and the temptation was too strong to resist.

Neither one wanted it to end, but it would, soon. It would end with a powerful and intense release of pent up emotion and tension, and when it was all over, they would have to live with the consequences.

And they would have to live with not caring about the consequences, as their need to relive this moment became another thing that was too powerful to fight.

**A/N: What happens when it's over? How do they react? And what does it mean, they need to relive the moment? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: An overreaction, and a mistake.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler©**

Olivia woke up the next morning, a throbbing in between her legs to match the one in her head. She sat up slowly, running her hands through her hair, and it hit her, It hit her hard. She looked over at him, asleep in her bed, and she felt sick.

Not sick because she regretted it, but sick because it was wrong. So wrong. Yet nothing had ever felt so right. She was terrified. She couldn't remember how it had happened, only that she loved the feeling of his hands on her body, his lips on her skin. She loved the way he felt inside of her, the way he moved within her. She loved it all. She loved him.

And she hated him. Because she didn't hate him in the least.

She threw the covers off of her body and headed for the bathroom. It hurt to move, but she reached into the shower, turning on the water as hot as she could stand it without it scalding her. She knew he'd wake up and think he'd made a mistake. She knew he'd wake up and realize he'd gotten her out of his system and want to go back to his wife before she sent the papers to a lawyer.

She stepped in, let the water hit her, and closed her eyes. Her head fell forward, pressing against the cold tiles. She grabbed the shower gel, washing away everything about the night, every bit of him that was left on her, and she sighed. This was not how it was supposed to happen.

It wasn't supposed to happen at all.

But she wanted it to happen again, and that is what truly scared her. She rinsed herself off, turned off the water, and wrapped herself in the large fluffy towel hanging on the hook. She stepped into the bedroom, and was surprised to see him awake, sitting up in the bed, putting his watch back on. She realized, she couldn't remember him taking it off.

"Morning," he said, looking at her with dazed eyes.

She nodded at him, slightly shy, and walked toward her closet door. She opened it, refusing to look him in the eyes, afraid of what she would see, and afraid of what she wouldn't. She froze when she felt his hands on her shoulders, and she slowly turned her head.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, leaning into her, pressing his lips to hers delicately.

She backed up a bit, her heart pounding the way it had last night. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I'm not all right, El."

"What's...was I too rough, did I hurt you?" He was worried, pulling her toward him.

"You were..." She blinked and couldn't help the smile from starting. "You were amazing, I just...this...you and me...it's..."

"I know," he said, touching his lips to her still-dripping-wet neck. "We created a couple of monsters last night, huh? I can't shake the feeling of being inside you, loving you, Liv."

She moaned at his words, her eyes fluttering closed. "El, we...we should have...I don't usually..."

"Neither do I," he affirmed. "Hell, I've been married for all of my adult life, so there's really only been Kathy. Last night...we just let go. We let everything go, and nothing has ever felt so fucking wonderful."

She pressed her lips together as he licked the tiny droplets of water off of her collarbone. "I just...you had all of these crazy fantasies about me, what it would be like, I...I probably let you down."

His eyes shot to hers. "Baby, it was better than anything I could have possibly imagined." He pressed into her harder and said, "Better than everything I did imagine. And I want more." He captured her lips in a powerful kiss before she could protest, and once again the desire and aching need took over and rational thinking was thrown to the floor with her towel.

He pulled her back to the bed and fell onto the mattress, bringing her down on top of him. He moaned when she straddled him, and he heard her seethe, giving a slight whimper. "I hurt you, didn't I?" he asked softly.

She shook her head. "You're gonna take some getting used to," she said with a sly shrug of nonchalance. "I had every reason to be jealous of Kathy."

"Not really," he said with a scoff. "She always stopped me from...well, put it this way, baby. Last night, you loved more of me than Kathy ever has. I mean that in every sense of the word."

She chuckled a bit as he grabbed her hips and moved her over, slipping the tip of his stiffness up and down her slit, teasing her. "El," she whispered, her head falling back.

"I have a lot of fantasies about you," he said with a hint of wickedness in his eyes, and his voice. "Fuck, Liv, too many. I wanna live out each and every one of them."

She moaned as he continued to tease her, and she shot her eyes toward the clock. "You can't do that in fifteen minutes."

He laughed, and he flipped them over, making her yelp and almost giggle. "NO, but I can check at least one more off of my list." He bent his head and kissed her as his dingers trailed down her body, teasing and pressing into the bits of her he didn't take the time to worship the night before. "I love you," he whispered.

She moaned loudly and cried his name, but still, the words were caught in her throat. She knew she'd let them fly sometime during the night, but consciously, she was too scared. A chat with Rebecca was in store for her, because she wasn't going to let the fear cripple her, not again.

* * *

The moans were soft, the rusting of paper and thumping of bodies against wood was almost too soft to be hear. He thought it was safe, he thought he would just be interrupting a session, so when the door swung open and he saw what was going on, his eyes widened. "Oh, my God!"

"Damn it, Elliot!" Rebecca yelled, leaping off of the man she had been on top of, who tried to cover himself up with a clipboard. "How many times do I have to tell you to bloody fucking knock!"

Elliot tried to hide his chuckling. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I just...I have to talk to you."

"I'm a tad bit indecent at the moment, could you come back later?" the doctor gruffed, scrambling to button up her shirt. Her lover, Ryan, had risen off of the desk, straightened himself out, and shot Elliot a look.

"I said I was sorry," Elliot repeated, closing the door and sitting down. He looked at Ryan. "You gave up life in a lab to wear that uniform, the least you can do is keep it from getting wrinkled."

Ryan gave him the finger. "Eat it, Stabler."

Elliot laughed. "Again, I'm sorry. But this can't wait. I only have twenty minutes, I'm here waiting for clinical evaluations of our vic."

Rebecca sighed. She kissed her boyfriend, and said, "I'm sorry about this."

"I am, too," Ryan said, sounding very frustrated. He walked out of the office and Rebecca looked at Elliot, gesturing for him to go on.

"I slept with her," he said, grinning.

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. "Olivia?"

He nodded, shifting in his seat. The mere thought of it was making sitting rather uncomfortable. "But now...shit, Becky, it's worse. Now that I know...really know what it's like, what I've been missing, I..."

"Damn," Rebecca interrupted. "You really are a sex fiend now, aren't you?"

He ran a hand down his face. "I had to take a cold shower after our first interrogation, and it didn't help. I had to...take care of it. Twice, already, and it's not even two in the afternoon, yet. This is a problem."

Rebecca smirked. "Problem? No, my little priapistic patient. This is a gift. DO you know what you can do with that appetite of yours?"

He tilted his head. "Besides get myself into more fucking trouble? I already, technically, cheated on my wife. Nothing's final yet, and..."

"You can satisfy hers," Rebecca interrupted. "No man has ever been able to keep up with her, and to be quite honest, if she won't ever find out I've told you this, she has never wanted a man to try. She's hard to please."

His face turned into the epitome of arrogance. "She sounded, and felt, pretty damn pleased last night. And this morning."

Rebecca laughed, shocked. "Elliot, you're the one she's been waiting for, you git. She can't tell you yet, but she loves you, and everything you make her feel."

"She...what do you mean she can't...she said it," he told her, folding his arms.

Rebecca sighed. "When she thinks about it, it scares the Holy Ghost out of her. Until this is a permanent thing, and you're not biding your time until your divorce is settled, she's going to be afraid that you'll..."

"I'm not going to," he said, shaking his head. "What do I have to do to convince her I'm not gonna leave her?"

"Prove it," Rebecca said. "And Elliot, if the sex...if the desire starts to control you, prevent you from living a normal life, then we're going to have a problem."

Eliot nodded. "I know that," he said. "I'm keeping it in check." He checked his watch and he stood up. "I gotta go. Thanks, Becky. And I'm sorry about..."

"Please, forget it," Rebecca interrupted. "Really, forget you saw that."

He laughed, nodded, and left, leaving Rebecca alone in her office, aggravated.

* * *

Elliot walked into the bullpen, and before anyone could talk to him, he grabbed Olivia and pulled her out of her chair.

"Ow," she said, tugging back her arm. "Hi, Liv. I have to talk to you, so can you step out into the hallway with me for a minute? Sure, El." She glared at him. "Was that hard?"

He laughed at her and shook his head. "I just have to tell you something. I talked to Becky and..."

"I swear I am super-gluing that woman's mouth shut!" she said, cutting into his words. "Did she tell you what happened at the bar?"

His eyebrow rose, and he folded his arms. "No," he said.

"Good," Olivia said, nodding. "Nothing happened. So you talked to her?"

"What happened at the bar?" he asked, intrigued.

"You first," she said, biting the inside of her cheek.

He rolled his eyes and looked around, making sure they were either alone or being ignored. "I know why you can't say it, and I swear to you, this isn't...this isn't just sex. This is more than that, so much more, and I'm not going to hurt you. You have to trust that."

She sighed. "I do, I trust you, and I trust...I trust us, I just..." she shook her head again. "I don't trust those words. I never have. I do...ya know. With all my heart, but..."

"That's all I need to know," he whispered. "You'll say it when you're ready, and I will be right here when you do." He looked over his shoulder and ran his tongue along his bottom teeth. "Pretty empty hallway."

She looked up and down, seeing he was right. "We have keys to all of these doors."

"No one's gonna miss us," he said, slowly backing up, toward one of the storage closets. When he opened it, and they rushed inside and fumbled for buttons and zippers in the dark, they knew.

They knew they had a serious problem, and it wasn't the only one that they would face. For as their romp continued, a smug lawyer walked into the squad room.

"Can I help you?" Fin asked, looking up at him.

"I'm looking for Elliot Stabler," the lawyer said, plopping his briefcase on a desk.

Fin tilted his head. "He's not here right now," he said. "Can I tell him to give you call?"

"No, thanks," the lawyers said, pulling out the chair. He sat, kicked his feet up onto the surface, and said, "I'll wait."

**A/N: Uh-oh! Lawyer? Why? And why is he so smug? And what happened at the bar? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: A problem, and a solution.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler©**

It took thirty-seven minutes, the lawyer was counting, for Elliot to walk back into the squad room. He looked up, smirked, and said, "Detective Stabler?"

"Yeah," Elliot said. "Can you get your feet off of my desk?"

The lawyer chuckled, narrowing his eyes as he swooped his legs off of the metal surface, sending papers and pens flying. "Happy?"

"What do you want?" Elliot asked, trying to control his anger.

"I was hired to give you these," the lawyer said, "And to tell you that my client is not going to settle for anything less than what's outlined in that document."

Elliot took the envelope and he looked up. "Your client?"

"Your wife. Kathy Stabler," the lawyer said. "Detective Stabler, you have just been served. The lawyer chuckled, then turned his head toward the door. "Olivia, you look stunning as always."

Olivia walked into the room fully, nodding once at him. "Hi, Luke."

"Luke?" Elliot scoffed.

"Short for Lucas," the lawyer said, picking up his briefcase and walking toward Olivia. He lifted her hand, kissed her middle knuckle, and said, "It's been too damn long."

Olivia pulled her hand away from him. "Not long enough," she said, stepping around him.

Luke smirked. "Yeah, I think we'll be seeing a lot of each other, Olivia. Now that I'm involved with a case concerning your partner."

"Oh, joy," Olivia said sarcastically. "Luke, we have a case of our own, so if you could leave..."

"Right," Luke said, nodding at her smugly. "I will be in touch. With both of you." He gave Elliot a narrow-eyed glare and he left.

"Who the hell was that?" Elliot asked, sounding irritated as he tore into the envelope in his hands.

Fin folded his arms. "Lucas Sawyer," he said. "Hotshot lawyer and all around jerkoff. How the hell do you even know him, Baby-Girl?"

"And why did he kiss your hand?" Elliot added, annoyed, reading the brand-new divorce papers.

Olivia ran a hand through her hair, still damp with sweat from her excursion with Elliot in the broom closet. "We dated," she said. "He was just starting at the firm, and he wasn't the asshole that he is now."

"Unbelievable," Elliot hissed.

"What," Munch scoffed, "You don't think Benson dates?"

Elliot looked at Munch. "What? No! I was talking about this!" He held up the papers and shook his head. "She wants joint custody, which I knew, but she also wants half of my yearly salary in alimony, the house, the car, and the shore house. She's going after everything!"

"You know," Fin said, "She can't possibly win. Not unless you cheated on her, or were abusive, or..."

"Yeah, I know," Elliot interrupted, sitting in his chair. "I gotta call Jack, see if there are any amazing divorce lawyers on our roster."

"Before you do that," Cragen said, handing him a slip of paper, "Take care of your vic." He nodded once at Elliot, than shot Olivia a glance. "Go." He turned and walked back toward an empty desk, to answer a phone.

Elliot looked at Olivia and sighed, then got up. He watched her stand, watched her pull on her jacket, his eyes focusing on the thin material of her shirt straining against her skin as she stretched and moved. "Shit," he spat harshly, looking away from her. He walked out ahead of her, taking slow, even breaths, hoping to calm down before it was too late.

"You okay?" Olivia asked, stepping up next to him as they walked toward the elevator.

He nodded, biting his lip. He stepped into the sliding doors and punched the button for the ground floor, hard.

"You don't look okay," she said as the doors closed.

He shot his eyes to hers, and he narrowed them slightly as he said, "I just got a whole new set of terms I have to agree to in order to leave her, they suck, and then I look at you and...I got a whole new problem."

"What did I do?" she asked, confused.

He chuckled bitterly. "You moved. You fucking moved, and...I can't control...the way your hips shifted when you..." He shook his head and as soon as the doors opened he walked off. "I'll meet you in the car."

She folded her arms and shouted after him. "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom," he shouted back, without turning around. He headed down the hall, turned left, and pushed open the bathroom door. He punched the door to the first stall open and he cursed under his breath as he fiddled with his belt. "Not fucking normal," he mumbled, shoving his hand into the band of his boxer-briefs, grabbing his painfully hard shaft tightly.

He seethed as his hand moved, his eyes squeezed shut. Visions of her face, her naked body under him, and her lips parting in sweet ecstasy danced behind his closed eyelids. He moaned softly, his imagination working harder as his hand moved faster.

"Shit," he spat, gripping tighter, moving faster. He could almost feel her hands on his body, he smiled as he felt her lips on neck and face. "Jesus, Liv," he moaned.

"Yeah," he heard her voice whisper. He was losing it, he thought, but he jumped in response to feeling...really feeling her fingers teasing his sensitive tip. His eyes shot open and there she was, smirking as she watched him. "Liv!"

She nodded, biting her lip. "You don't need to do this," she whispered, moving his hand and taking over the stroking on her own. "When you need me, El, just take me. I thought I made it clear in that closet, I'm in this if you are."

He gasped when her thumb grazed over the tip of him again, and he bucked at the touch. "Liv," he whispered. "God, baby, I can't...it's all the time...it's...I want you, all the time, and I don't..."

"You have me," she interrupted. She dropped her lips to his, kissing him deeply.

He moaned, taking in the feeling of her soft his bringing him to a blessed release, and her soft lips against his. He felt her tongue gliding over his, dancing with it, willingly participating in the destruction of life as they knew it. He tangled his hands in her hair, grunting softly as he kissed her and shot a hot stream of passion into her hand, which she'd cupped over him to keep things from getting messy.

She used her unoccupied hand to grab several bits of tissue, and without breaking their kiss, she cleaned him up, slowly. She wiped her hand clean, and she calmed him down with her kiss.

His breathing slowed, he pulled his lips away from hers, and he rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked, pressing her lips to his. "You didn't..."

He shook his head as he straightened up and adjusted his clothes. "You shouldn't have had to..."

"I didn't have to," she said, smirking a bit. "I wanted to. Ya know, I'm not the only one Becky can't keep secrets for." She caught his eyes, watching his reflection in the mirror as she washed her hands. "It's not just your problem, ya know. Not anymore."

He furrowed his brow as he handed her paper towels. "What do you mean."

She turned to him, and she looked almost embarrassed. "El, I'm not a saint. You know that. I've been with...more than a few guys. You...you are the only one who has ever really made me...I've never felt the way I feel when I'm with you. I'm talking full body, mind-blowing, no holds barred. You pulled it out of me, and God damn it, it wasn't enough."

He kissed her gently. "Mine," he whispered. "That proves you were made to be mine. We fit. We click. We work."

She smiled at him, brushed a bead of sweat off of his forehead, and walked out. "We have a job to do," she said over her shoulder.

He chuckled and followed her, hoping he could get through it without needed to relieve any tension.

* * *

Rebecca was lying in her bed, softly kissing Ryan. His hands were teasing her skin, her body was reacting the way he wanted it too. "Already?" she mumbled against his lips.

Ryan laughed. "After Stabler barged in this morning, I have a lot of frustration to..."

He was stopped when their doorbell rang. He looked at the bedroom door as if it were an ill-behaved bulldog. "What the hell?"

"I'll get it," Rebecca said, sighing as she got up. She tied her robe around her and she walked to the door. Opening it, she rolled her eyes. "Bloody kidding me, you must be," she spat.

Elliot walked in, not even noticing her state of undress. "I need help," he said, sitting on her couch. "I'm...I'm in trouble, here, Becky."

Rebecca sat across from him, suddenly concerned. "What happened?"

"With Liv? No, we're...that's not the problem. That's...fuck, it is definitely not a problem."

"Then what happened?" Rebecca asked.

Elliot sighed. "You're gonna be getting a phone call, from a lawyer." He looked up and said, "I need you to tell him that..."

"Oh, bollocks," Rebecca gruffed. "What?"

"Kathy," Elliot said, his head in his hands. "She found out...someone told her, or she looked into my records, who the hell knows, but she found out I've been seeing a therapist. She's using that, trying to get more money and...everything I have, Becky. She's going after everything because she knows about Liv, and...I thought we were okay. When I left her in that restaurant, we were all right. She told me she wouldn't do this. But now she thinks..."

"She thinks you have a problem of some kind, and to keep it quiet she wants you to fork over the cash."

He nodded. "Pretty much," he said. "Her lawyer's Liv's ex-boyfriend, to make it worse. I can't tell him why I need to leave my wife."

"So, when he calls, I will tell him that I cannot disclose the nature of your visits," Rebecca said with a sigh. "But I will hint around that it's something I'm doing for the unit. I'll suggest...I will suggest that Olivia has seen me, too, because you were involved with a rough case and you need to be cleared before..."

"Thank you," he interrupted, relieved.

Rebecca smiled. "Elliot, you are my best friend's...whatever you are to her. I can't let this happen, even though I'm risking my license for the two of you."

He gave her a soft smile. Then he raised an eyebrow. "What happened at the bar?"

Rebecca furrowed her brow, thinking, and then she laughed. "Oh, my God," she said. "She didn't tell you?"

"She started to," he said, a half-truth.

Calming down, Rebecca said, "She had a little too much to drink, she was pissed that you were with Kathy. She, uh, she made about fifty bucks dancing on the table, people thought she worked there. And then...oh...the karaoke..."

"What?" he cut in, laughing.

"Bon Jovi," Rebecca said. "She sang 'You Give Love a Bad Name,' all of the words, on key! She had the entire bar singing along with her, and she would drop your name into it whenever she could. The owner offered her a job, but she held up her badge and told him she had one, and..."

Elliot held up a hand. "I saw the dress she was wearing. Where the hell was her badge."

Rebecca smirked. "You took the dress off of her, you didn't find it?"

"Honestly, that night is...I really didn't notice." He looked at her, waiting for an answer, but they heard Ryan calling for her from the bedroom. "I interrupted again, didn't I?"

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Thankfully, no, we did what we had to do. You just...kept it from happening again," she said with a curt nod.

He laughed and got up. "Thank you," he said. "For everything. Oh," he stopped, handing her a small flip-top pad from his pocket. "This is...this is just...it's not my random thoughts about..."

"I'll read it," Rebecca said. She led him to the door and watched him leave, feeling the nerves begin. She had a lot of files to write up, and she had to make sure there was no mention of sex or addiction in them. She walked into the bedroom and dropped her robe to the floor, hoping Ryan would make her forget that she was risking everything, just as Olivia and Elliot were, because she felt guilty.

It was her who had unleashed it all, set it all into motion, and now it was her job to calm it down.

She had no idea it was way too late, near impossible to pull them back. But she would try, wouldn't she?

**A/N: Elliot and Kathy have another chat, hoping to settle their differences. Olivia spends some time with Elliot's kids. And Elliot's itch hits in a most inopportune place, and he does the only thing he can: scratches it. ;) Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: A discussion, and a surrender.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Story belongs to TStabler**

Elliot drummed his fingers along the surface of the table, waiting. He sighed, checked his watch, and pulled out his phone. He sent Olivia a text message, then plopped the device down on the table. He made a relieved face and rolled his eyes when the person for whom he was waiting sat across from him. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I was busy," she said. "I figured you could wait."

"Kathy," he said, shaking his head, "What are you doing? Do I really deserve this?"

She grinned. "And more," she said. "You know what they say. Hell hath no fury."

"You talked to your lawyer, you know why I…Why I was seeing that doctor, and it's covered by my insurance, so I don't know why you think I can afford to give you more money. I can't."

She furrowed her brow. "You could have talked to me," she said. "Or your precious Olivia. You didn't need a therapist."

"Work…Kathy, I am telling you the truth. I could not have possibly done my job if I didn't go see the doctor. I would have been useless." He closed his eyes and took a breath. "Please, don't hold that against me."

Kathy looked at him, her eyes softened. "You really…this is really upsetting you."

"Yes," he said, "It is. Kathy, I thought we agreed…this is for the best. It wasn't fair to either of us, or the kids, and you…you just threw all of that at me. Did you think it would make me come back to you?"

"No," she said with a sigh, "But I did get your attention, didn't I?"

He shook his head and scoffed. "Is that all you wanted?"

She didn't answer him, she simply said, "I'll call my lawyer in the morning. This will all go away. But…can you stay for dinner this time?"

Elliot sighed, a blend of relief and annoyance. "Yeah," he said, picking up the menu. "But I can't stay for dessert."

Kathy lifted her own menu, and she smirked. She would try like hell to change his mind.

* * *

"Liv!" Dickie yelled from the dining room table.

Olivia ran in from the kitchen, a spoon in one hand and a large spatula in the other. "What? What happened?"

Dickie looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Um, nothing. Calm down. I just have to ask you for a little help here. I hate history."

Olivia sighed. "God, don't yell like that. You worry me when you yell like that." She shook her head and cleared her throat. "What's your question?"

"Charlemagne…the country he saved because he killed someone or something…," Dickie said, a curious look on his face.

"Rome," Olivia answered. "I'm gonna finish dinner." She walked back into the kitchen, and she stirred the soup on the stove. She tasted it, made a face, and opened the cabinet to find salt. She reached for it, then flipped the chicken in the frying pan with one hand as she shook the salt into the pot with the other.

"You're pretty good at that for someone who can't cook." Maureen walked into the kitchen and leaned up against the wall, smirking.

Olivia chuckled. "I never said I couldn't cook, I just said I didn't cook." She tasted the soup, smiled and nodded at the pot, and turned to Maureen. "My mom…she was never in a condition to cook or clean, so I did it all. When I moved out on my own, I guess I was just so sick and tired of doing it."

"Your mom, uh, she was really that bad?" Maureen asked. "I don't wanna bring it up, and you don't have to talk about it, but…Dad's never really told us anything about your life outside of work."

Olivia smiled. "Mo, my mother was an alcoholic. She had anger issues and she was always drunk, on top of hating me because I was a constant reminder of the worst night of her life." She shrugged and said, "I guess she was pretty good considering all of that, but compared to what a real mother should be…she was awful."

"You didn't deserve that," Maureen said, shaking her head. "No kid does. But…and I know my father tells you this all the time…you're who you are because of her. Ya gotta thank her for at least that, Liv. You're strong because she wasn't. You're capable because she wasn't. You're courageous because she wasn't. And you're a natural-born mother, because she wasn't."

Olivia felt the sting at the back of her eyes, the burn behind her nose, but she refused to cry. "You're a great kid, Mo. Thanks for that."

"Just being honest," Maureen said. She turned around and said, "Hi, Dad." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left the kitchen.

Olivia turned, her eyes widening. "Oh, hey."

He was smiling, his heart warmed over by the emotional moment he'd just infringed upon, and he said, "Hi, Liv."

She turned back to the stove and said, "The, uh, chicken has about ten more minutes, and the soup is just about done. I've got Lizzie and Kathleen setting the table, and Dickie said he'd wash the dishes. Let me know how this tastes, would ya? I haven't made it in a while?"

"You're not staying?" he asked, taking a step toward her.

"Why would I stay?" she asked. "You asked me to stay with the kids so you could talk to Kathy, you're back now, I don't have to…"

"Stay." He gave her a smoky look. A look she couldn't refuse.

She took a breath, though, and said, "I have to go, Elliot."

"Why?" he asked, grabbing her hand.

"Your kids…they don't even know what's going on with you and Kathy. I don't even think you know, so…they don't need me here, they don't need to see you looking at me…the way you look at me. Like you…"

"Want you?" he questioned. "Or like I love you?"

She blinked at him. "Both." She handed him the spatula, said, "Flip the chicken," and stepped away from him.

He grabbed her arm, stopping her, and pulled her back toward him. "Stay," he said again, more demanding. "Look at me."

She turned, though she was holding her breath, and she said, "I know what this is, El. I don't expect you to try to make me feel better about this by working me into your domestic…"

"What?" he interrupted. "What this is? What are you talking about?"

"This," she said. "You and me. I told you I was fine with what we're doing, and I don't want you to feel like…"

"Whoa, whoa, what we're doing?" He raised both eyebrows and said, "Did you talk to Becky?"

"No," she said with a sigh. "But I think I have to," she laughed. "Why?"

He leaned into her and he brought his lips perilously close to hers. "This isn't just sex, you know that. I love you. I'm in love with you. Please, don't think this is just physical."

She looked up. "I never thought that. I meant, right now, at this moment, this is technically an affair. You don't have to make me feel less like the other woman by…."

"You are not the other woman." His voice was firm. His eyes were dark and serious. "You have never come second to me, never. That is especially true now. You mean more to me than…"

She pressed her lips to his softly. "Thank you," she said, relief dripping from her words. "I was so afraid you'd…"

"Never," he interrupted. He kissed her again and said, "You're staying. Finish the chicken." He winked at her and said, "I, uh, I already ate. But while you guys are eating, I'll make something for…"

"Dessert's in the fridge." She smiled at him as she turned off the stove and started scooping the chicken onto a platter.

He opened the refrigerator and shook his head at the pie on the shelf. "You don't bake."

"No, I don't. But Sara Lee does, and nobody doesn't like Sara Lee," she joked.

He laughed, closed the fridge, and walked back over to her. He kissed her softly and hoped he could get through the night without needing it to be more than a kiss.

"Wow," Dickie said, dropping his fork to his empty plate. "That was amazing. I had no idea you could do that, Liv."

She grinned. "Well, now you do," she said.

Elliot had been watching her eat, watching the fork slip into her mouth, pull against her luscious lips. He had listened to her moans of satisfaction as she tasted and enjoyed the food, and he watched her smile and laugh with his children, and it all made him anxious and hot.

Olivia looked at him and she knew. "You okay?" she asked.

"No," he said, staring into her eyes. "No, I'm not." He got up quickly and stormed up the stairs.

"What happened?" Kathleen asked, looking at Olivia.

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Um," she mumbled, "I'll go talk to him." She got up, walked up the stairs, and stepped down the hall. She took a shaky breath and knocked on his bedroom door. "El?" she called, pushing it opened slightly.

He grabbed her, threw her against the wall, and kicked the door closed. "Fucking ridiculous," he hissed, slamming his lips into hers as he worked a hand into her pants. "Can't…get…enough of you." He was out of breath, almost nervous, trying to get her pants off with one hand and stroking her to wetness with the other.

She moaned. Her head slammed into the wall behind her, she bit her lip, and she reached for his pants. "El, God," she whispered.

He dropped his head into the crook of her neck, his lips teasing at her skin, nipping at it lightly as he finally pushed down her jeans. "Need you. Now."

She let out a low groan, almost a sobbing sound, as he shifted his hips and his pants dropped. He didn't wait, and he wasn't gentle, he just lined up and slammed into her, at the same time grabbing her hips and hiking her legs around his waist.

She locked her ankles together and leaned back, enjoying the ride he was taking her on, and because she wasn't thinking, because her brain had all but ceased to work, she said those three words she couldn't consciously say. She bit her tongue as soon as she realized it, and she moaned as he thrust hard into her.

"I love you." He said it loud and clear, deliberately, and he moved faster and harder, holding onto her tighter. He covered her lips with his, knowing they couldn't be loud with his kids downstairs.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and held on as she let go, tightening around him quickly and powerfully. "El," she moaned into his mouth. She bit and pulled on his bottom lip. "Oh, El."

"Shit, Liv," he panted. "Hold on for me, baby." He didn't want her to finish just yet. He wasn't ready to let go, or for her to let go, He was never ready for it to end.

"Can't hold on," she argued, her body shaking against his. As she clenched and released around him, he grunted, frustrated and loving every second of it.

He kept moving, he held her as she shook violently and let out a feral sounding, throaty, noise. "Oh, shit, Liv," he grunted, still hitting into her. He kept her going for a few moments more as he built up to his own climax. He thrust hard, grunting each time his pelvic bone met hers, and he finally came, hot and strong.

She almost collapsed, thankful he had a good grip on her. "My God," she panted, struggling to breathe.

"Liv," he whispered, "I think we're officially fucked."

She laughed. "Pun intended?" she quipped, trying to pick up her head.

"No, no, that…some may call it fucking, but we…that was nothing but love." He tugged lightly on her hair, lifting her head and kissing her lips. "I meant…this is uncontrollable. What have we gotten ourselves into?"

"I dunno," she said, sliding off of him and trying to stand on her weak legs. "But you'd better finalize your divorce and figure it out."

He chuckled, and he said, "I'm working on it, baby. That's what my dinner with Kathy was about. And before you ask, yes, she tried something. No, she didn't succeed, and I told her I wasn't changing my mind."

"Well, thank God for that," she said, pulling her jeans back on and slipping into her shoes. "I would really hate to see us try to end this."

"Liv," he said as she grabbed the doorknob. "Baby, this has only just begun."

**A/N: A long session with Rebecca reveals things about Elliot. The kids go back to Kathy, and they tell her some things she doesn't want to hear. Review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: A smack of reality, and a cold shower.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Tstabler © own this story.**

Olivia ran her hand down her face. She shook her head, trying to process the conversation she was having. "I told you, for the seventeenth time, I don't know why I can't say it."

Rebecca looked at her, her eyes narrow as she sat poised with pen over notebook. "I do," she said. "I know what's going on in his head, Olivia, and I know what's going on in yours."

"Did he give you more of his porn-esque love notes to read?" Olivia asked, scoffing.

Rebecca smirked. "No, but I would have enjoyed them. I can't discuss that with you, but I can tell you that your fear of rushing this, the terror you feel..."

"I'm not afraid of rushing it!" Olivia snapped, wide-eyed. "I've already had more sex with him than I had with my last three boyfriends combined."

Rebecca clicked her pen and bit her lip. "Then it's the other thing," she said. "You...you've got to get over that, Olivia. Have you even told him..."

"He doesn't need to know," Olivia said firmly. "I need to get over it, Becks. It's not...it's just not easy. When everyone hears those words come out of my mouth...whenever I let myself say it, they leave. It's like my own personal fucking Kryptonite. I can't say it."

"Not everyone you love leaves," Rebecca said softly.

"You don't know what it's like, Becks," Olivia said, her eyes closing. "Growing up with a mother who convinced you love was noting but pain. A mother who had you believing, by the time you were four, that men were evil. She told me...every day until I was eighteen...that I was worthless, no one would ever love me because of what I was, who I was. That I was undeserving of love." She wiped her eyes quickly, refusing to cry.

She took a shaky breath and said, "The one time I open myself up, say it to someone, they fucking prove me right and walk out of my life forever. Then she fucking falls down the stairs, the only person I had left who was semi-capable of showing me some type of affection, and everything hurt so much worse. I promised myself I would never do that again."

"Do what again?" Rebecca asked, marveling at how much Olivia had opened up.

Olivia bit her lip, wiped her eyes again, still not acknowledging that she was crying. "Let someone hurt me," she whispered.

"You really believe Elliot would hurt you?" Rebecca asked, not prepared for that.

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know what to believe anymore," she said with a shrug. "A week ago I believed he was happily married. A week ago I believed there was no way in hell he'd so much as hold my hand let alone fuck me seven ways from Sunday every chance he gets." She let her red and dry eyes finally meet Rebecca's. "He is the only person I have ever let myself trust. Really trust. With my life. With every secret I have, except one. That's all changed and now it's so much more complicated and if something goes wrong..."

She swallowed hard and shook her head. "Part of me believes that there's only one way this can end, and I really don't want to believe that."

Rebecca let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She turned toward her desk, moved some papers around, and picked up Elliot's notebook. She sighed, then turned to Olivia and held it out to her. "Read this," she said. "Don't tell him you have it. Don't even tell him you know it exists. If you're still afraid after you read it, then go to Huang, don't come to me. I won't be able to help you."

Olivia took the notebook, and she blinked. "Okay," she said, standing. She left the office, flipping open the notebook as she stepped into the elevator. Her eyes widened as they followed the words across the page, and her heart broke and then swelled.

She hit the emergency stop button, then slid down to the floor, avoiding everyone and everything until she'd finished the notebook.

* * *

"Where the hell is she?" Cragen yelled, pacing.

Elliot, worried out of his mind, slammed down the phone. "No fucking idea," he hissed. "She's not answering her cell phone, she's not at her place, she's not at mine, I..."

"Why the hell would she be at yours?" Cragen asked, angry.

Elliot turned to him. "I...I just called everywhere, all right?"

Cragen nodded, satisfied with that answer. "Anything?" he asked, as Fin and Munch walked through the doors.

Fin was laughing and Munch was rubbing his eyes. "She was stuck in an elevator downtown," Fin chuckled.

"My phone died," she said meekly, holding up the phone. She walked over to her desk, pulled open the drawer, and pulled out a charging plug. She plugged it in, though she knew it was fully charged, and looked at it as it blinked on. "A hundred and seven missed calls? Jesus, people!"

Elliot was still staring at her, his mouth opening and closing. "I...I was..." He pulled her into his arms. "Never do that to me again."

Stunned, wanting to hold him back but she knew it would look bad. "I won't. I'm sorry," she said, pushing him away and shooting him a hot look. She looked at him so differently now. She knew his inner thoughts and fears, the same as hers for the same reasons, hadn't kept him from openly declaring his love for her.

She read it, in his own handwriting, she was the only one he had the urge to just say it to, he knew she needed to hear it, loudly and often. He wanted to be the one that said it to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft as he looked into her eyes. "You look...you look like maybe you're not okay."

She nodded. "An hour and a half in a small, metal box," she said with a shrug. "I'm a little shaken up, but I'm fine."

He gave her a curt nod and took a step back. "Okay," he said. "We, uh, we have a case to..."

"Take it with Fin," she said, shrugging off her jacket. She slung it over her chair and looked toward Cragen. "Cap? I need a minute to..."

"Whatever you need," Cragen interrupted. "Just glad to have you back safe, Benson."

Olivia nodded, then walked out of the squad room. She walked down the stairs, two flights, and headed through the gym into the locker room. Opening her locker, she sighed. She couldn't get his words out of her head. _She's the only person in the world I am not afraid of falling in love with, I'm not afraid to let her love me. I'm an open book for her, and I pray every day she knows I am. _She pulled a clean pair of jeans and the gray hoodie that bounced back and forth between them out of her locker, laying them on the bench. She pulled her black sweater over her head and turned on the water in one of the showers.

She slithered out of her pants and she peeled off her bra and panties. She stepped under the spraying water and gasped a little.

She heard someone chuckle, and a low voice say, "We have had problems with the hot water for about a week, Liv."

She pulled the curtain back a slight bit and poked her head out. "What are you doing? I thought we had a case."

"We did," he shrugged. "Cragen sent Munch and Fin, then told me to come see how you were. He knows how you get in small spaces."

She gave him a small smile. "Well, I was sweaty and smelly, hence the shower, but I'm fine, I told you..."

"You're a good liar," he said, pulling on his tie. He slipped it off and laid it over her fresh clothes. He unbuttoned and took off his shirt and said, "I knew by looking at you, something's on your mind."

"You are not coming in here, Stabler," she said. She shut the curtain, as if the filmy plastic would keep him out. She heard him undress as she said, "We're at work."

"Yeah? I hadn't noticed," he cracked, stepping in with her. He reached passed her and pulled on the knob hard, suddenly the water heated slightly, and he chuckled. "Tell me what's bothering you."

She shook her head, feeling more cramped and tight than she had in the elevator, and she closed her eyes. "Nothing, El, I was just...I had a rough morning. I realized something and I..."

"You went to see Becky, what happened?" he interrupted. He ran his hands over her smooth shoulders, pulling her against him, enclosing her in his warmth and his love, as well as his body. "What did she make you realize?"

"It wasn't her," she whispered. "Not really. It...it was you."

"Me?" He furrowed his brow as he spun her around to face him. "Liv, baby, if I did something to hurt you, I..."

She stopped his words with a kiss. "You didn't hurt me. I know you...I know you would never hurt me," she said, believing it as the words came out of her mouth.

Elliot squinted. "You...she gave you the...she let you read..."

"Calm down," she interjected, holding his hands. "Please, don't...don't be mad at her for it. I'm glad she gave it to me, El, I was...I was terrified. So scared that...scared that this would all go away if I admitted it was real. If I let it become what I refused to let it become."

He looked at her, brushed her hair back a bit as it grew wetter and stuck to her face, and he said, "What's that?"

She took a breath and she closed her eyes. "Love," she whispered. "El, I..." she opened her eyes and she said, for the first time while fully aware, "I love you."

He breathed out hard, relief and instant fear pushing out from his lungs. He moved forward, pressing into her as he pushed her into the tiles behind her and crashed his lips into hers. Their teeth clicked, their lips fought for some kind of coordination, and their hands grabbed at nothing while trying to grab at everything.

She said it. She knew she said it, intentionally letting him take the one part of her she fought so hard to keep from him. She thought she'd feel terror but she felt lighter. She felt like she'd jumped off of a mountain and landed on the world's softest cloud.

He ran his tongue over hers, moaning, cupping her face and budging her knees apart, never wanting her more than he did right now.

She whined and whimpered as he thrust his hips forward, pushing into her, and she moved her right leg up his body, trying to find balance and support. "El," she murmured.

"Just say it again," he whispered to her, peppering her neck and lips with tiny kisses as he moved, hard and deep. "Don't think about it, don't think about anything, Liv. Just tell me."

She grabbed his face, held his gaze, and said, loudly and clearly, "I love you."

He kissed her again, trying to tell her through his actions how much he longed to hear her say it, hoe amazed and relieved he was he finally heard her say it for real. "I love you, " he said sweetly to her between kisses and grunts.

She held onto him as the water ran cold again, and she shut her eyes, letting him take everything away the way he always did.

But when everything returned this time, and they were brought back to reality, regret and fear would sink in deeper. Not fear of being together, no, but the fear of being together in the wrong place and the wrong time.

**A/N: A divorce hearing like no other, Olivia has a chat with the twins that surprises her, and Elliot stops in to see Becky, but this time, he's pissed. Why? What happened? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: An ending and a confrontation **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

_It's not supposed to feel like this, _she thought. _It's not supposed to hurt. _She blinked, taking a chance and looking up at his empty desk, looking at what would be his eyes, imagining him there to see if she'd be able to meet his eyes. Even in her imagination, it hurt. She shook her head, then. _They're j__ust words, _she chided herself.

Ever since she'd told him, said the three words that until now she'd been afraid of, she couldn't stop worrying. Instead of being relieved, she was anxious, nervous, waiting for him to realize he'd gotten what he wanted and walk away. Like she was used to.

Today was his perfect opportunity, actually. His divorce hearing was taking place at that moment, he would be able to stop everything, tell Kathy he changed his mind, apologize, fix things. Most of her conscious mind knew it wouldn't happen, but part of her, a very small part, honestly believed that giving that final piece of herself to him would be the catalyst. He was now the only one who had enough of her to break her, hurt her, and he could. He was very capable of it.

She exhaled sharply and vaguely heard Fin's voice mumbling something about needing a warrant for their current case. She nodded, getting up without looking at him. She walked out, saying nothing, and headed for the courthouse to talk to Alex.

The short walk was brisk, chilly, she forgot her jacket. She was in a daze, replaying the moment she said it over and over in her mind. The shower, the cold water, the amazing sex that her small confession had spurred, it all flashed like a black and white movie in her mind. It made her smile, and it made her very afraid.

She pushed open the courthouse doors and cleared her throat, snapping out of her personal world and taking on the role of the strong, composed, fearless detective she was used to being. A façade, but a great one.

She flashed her badge and ID at the desk, showed the guard her weapon, and was let through the metal detector. She wandered down the hall toward their ADA's office, but stopped when she saw someone familiar in the corridor. "Kathy?"

The blonde turned, her eyes narrowed. "You homewrecking little…"

"Excuse me?" Olivia's voice, cold and composed, interrupted.

Kathy cleared her throat and shook her head. "What are you doing down here? Did he call you? Did he really ask you to come be his character witness?"

"No," Olivia said, folding her arms. "I'm here on business. He didn't call me. Why does he need character witnesses? What are you trying to pull?"

Kathy scoffed. "Nothing," she said. "He doesn't need them, the judge thinks the sun rises and sets with him as it is, this is…this is not going good for me." She closed her eyes and shook her head, then looked at Olivia. "Elliot told me about the case," she said. "The one that has the two of you in therapy."

Olivia squinted. "Oh," she said, attempting to look embarrassed or upset, or both. "Yeah."

"I just wanted to say…I'm sorry for accusing you of…the things I've accused you of," Kathy spat out nervously. "I don't even know if he told you anything, if he already tried anything, but don't make my mistake, Olivia." She looked into Olivia's eyes and said, "Don't let him go."

Olivia tilted her head and her heart cracked a bit. "You really love him, don't you?"

"I used to," the blonde said with a sigh. "It's not the kind of love it was, once upon a time, but I still care about him. I always will. I know…I know everything he's told me is right. Right for him. And I know some things that maybe you don't, and if he ever tells you, don't shut him out and don't make him feel like he did the wrong thing by telling you the truth."

Olivia furrowed her brow. "Kathy, what are you…"

"Liv?" Elliot called, looking at her from a few feet down the hall. "Liv, what are…Kathy, what are you telling her?"

"Just giving her some advice," Kathy said, turning toward Elliot. "Nothing you need to worry about. I'm not going back on my word, Elliot, this is gonna be easy for you. You're getting everything." She turned to look back at Olivia and she whispered, "This doesn't mean I forgive you. Or that I like you."

Olivia made a small grunting noise. "Right." She let her eyes dart to Elliot as Kathy walked back into the meeting room, her heels clicking as she left. "You didn't tell her that we already…"

"Do I look crazy to you?" he asked, walking toward her and lowering her voice. "Why would I give her that kind of ammunition, huh?"

The heat coming off of him got to her. She backed up. "I don't know. I guess I thought...never mind. Just…call me when this is over. Good luck," she spat quickly, then turned down the hall heading for Alex's office.

Elliot cursed under his breath, adjusted his pants to hide the beginnings of what he knew would be a painful erection if he kept thinking about her. He pushed the doors open and walked into the meeting room, confident that the judge would grant him a clean divorce.

* * *

Olivia wandered out of Alex's office thirty minutes later, after having been assured that her warrant was as good as signed. She was halfway to the main hall when someone grabbed her, pulling her into a divot in the wall. The indented doorway to someone's darkened and unoccupied office.

"It's just me," his voice whispered in her ear.

She turned to him and slapped his arm. "Ass," she hissed.

"You love my ass," he joked, kissing her.

She pulled away sharply. "Not here," she said, looking around the corner. "Are you insane?"

He nodded. "I really think I am," he said, sliding his lips over hers despite her protests.

She managed to push him back again. "El, this is not a smart move."

"I'm not a smart man," he said to her. "I was in that room, Liv, and I was listening to the lawyers and a judge decide the legal status of my marriage, who gets possession of the house in Queens, the fate of my parental rights, and the whole time…the whole time I was thinking about you." He kissed her cheek once. "Your body, your eyes, your lips," he listed, punctuating each with a soft kiss. "The way your voice sounds when you tell me you love me." He kissed her lips. "Say it," he whispered.

She shook her head and tried to pull out of his grasp. "El, please," she panted, nervous. "Don't…"

"Baby," he interrupted, "Just say it. Once. After the morning I've had, I need to hear you tell me you love me. I need the reassurance that I didn't make a mistake in there." He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I need to know you don't think this is a mistake."

She took a hard breath. It physically hurt to have the words form in her mouth, but as she thought of the emotional words he'd written, the ones that made her feel secure in saying it the first time, she relaxed in his arms. "I love you."

He sighed and brushed his lips over her head again. "I love you," he said, it sounded firm and final, unlike her tentative and hesitant admission. He brought his lips down, over hers, and pressed her into the wall behind her, hoping no one would pass by them. He rolled his hips into hers and moaned softly. "What you do to me…you have no idea what you do..."

"I know what I do to you." Her words cut his off and she gave in, chiding herself for letting him lose self control and moral dignity.

He gripped her hips and rolled into her again, his lips latching onto her neck. He mumbled something she couldn't quite make out, and even if he was louder she wouldn't have understood. Her brain was complete mush, her hands flew to the back of his neck as his teeth skimmed her skin. She chuckled, remembering the first time she'd let him do this to her, their first night together.

The memory came into focus, finally, for both of them, though the events leading up to it were still a mystery. "Liv," he murmured. "Liv, baby, this needs to stop." He grunted as his thickness strained against his pants, loving the friction caused by her rocking pelvis.

"No," she said quickly. "No way." She reached for the doorknob, hoping it wasn't locked, needing to get out of the hallway and closer to him. "You were right. I need you just as much as you need me, maybe even more. I need you, now," she whispered as he kissed her, as her hand turned the unlocked knob. However, before she could get them out of view, a very clear gasp came from their right.

They pulled apart and turned their heads. "Alex!" Elliot breathed, eyes wide.

"What the hell is this?" the blonde lawyer asked, her voice a mix of shock and amusement. "What the fucking hell is this?"

"Alex," Olivia said, turning. "This isn't…he just…we were…"

"I just got out of a divorce hearing," Elliot said, saving her. "I guess I got a little excited."

Alex let her eyes travel up and down his body. "More than just a little, Stabler," she quipped. "I, uh, I think I may make you strip for this warrant." She waved a folded blue document at him.

Not smiling, he grabbed it from her. "Nice try," he said, tugging his jacket down over the very large bulge in his pants. "Alex, you can't tell anyone you…"

"Who am I gonna tell?" she asked innocently. "But if you wanna keep this, whatever this is, a secret, maybe you shouldn't grope each other in the courthouse."

"If I could control this, I would!" He shook his head, then he narrowed his eyes. He looked at Olivia. "Wait, did you…did you just say…" he stopped, he looked at his watch, he cursed under his breath. He pulled Olivia's arm, grumbled something about Cragen, and they walked out of the courthouse, frustrated beyond belief.

* * *

Rebecca Bond looked down at her watch, then up at the clock above her door. "Five minutes," she said with a grin. She grabbed her notebooks and files, and she stood up, packing it in for the evening. She was just shoving some papers into her briefcase when her door flew open.

She turned with a sigh. "Really, Elliot." When she saw the look on his face, his heaving chest, and the fire in his eyes, she took a breath. "What?"

"You gave her the entire notebook!" he yelled. "I thought it was just the page about…she read the whole thing! Things she should not know, things I didn't want her to know!"

Rebecca looked at him. "I did not…"

"She's quoting me!" he yelled. "She's got the entire fucking thing memorized! I asked you not to…"

"But you never told me why," Rebecca said, cutting him off with her own bitter anger. "You tell me not to show her these letters you write, the things you think about her, when you know damn well that's what she needs! It was the only thing that would give her the courage she needed to tell you how she felt, Elliot! What would you have me do?"

Elliot ran a hand over his face. "I would really rather her not know I've questioned her, I've questioned myself, or that I think…"

"Tell her the truth, then. Talk to her. Tell her what it all means." Rebecca shook her head. "I have risked everything I have to get the two of you over your own issues and all it's done is given you more, so I'm done! You can work things out with her on your own."

"I…it's not that…look, I'm very grateful for what you've done. But there were things in that notebook that I wrote …that I didn't mean the way they sound. She said something today…we were…" he gasped, as if just realizing. "God, we were in the courthouse! Becky, I had my hand down her pants in the fucking court…Alex saw us! This is out of…"

"You really are losing control, this is bad," Rebecca said, sitting on the couch.

Elliot shook his head and bit his lip. "No, that's…that's the problem, it's not bad. It's fucking amazing! I knew where we were, I didn't care. Neither did she. It's…"

"What happened today, Elliot?" Rebecca asked. "There's something you're not telling me. You're not this pissed off because she read your diary."

He made a face at her. "Don't call it that."

"Are you mad because you got caught by someone you work with? The thrill of the secret is…"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "We got caught up in the moment in the wrong place at the wrong time, it was bound to happen. Hell, we fucked in the damn car tonight on our back from a search. Fin could have seen everything and we wouldn't have cared. Getting caught by people we work with is clearly not a concern."

Rebecca shook her head. "Then what is it? What's bothering you?"

He looked at her, he took a step forward, and he said, "My kids…my kids asked her if she could stay with us for a while when Kathy moves out for good. The kids know Kathy's coming to get the rest of her stuff tomorrow night, and they asked Liv to move in when she's gone. Liv doesn't know I know, but I was there. I was listening to them, and…"

"That's a good thing," Rebecca said. "Your kids love her."

"My kids love her," he repeated, "But they don't want me dating her right now. Shit, Becky, my divorce isn't even…we just had the confirmation hearing today!" He chuckled bitterly. "You should have heard them. My son asked her to keep an eye on me at work, he thinks I'm gonna lose it without Kathy. Lizzie wants to teach her how to make Kathy's waffles, because that's our traditional Sunday breakfast, and God forbid tradition dies when Kathy leaves for good. They want Liv to help them adjust to life without their mother, they want her to keep me sane because they don't know this is all my fault, and I can't even look at her for more than five minutes without wanting to jump her. How the hell am I supposed to…"

"You're afraid of the kids catching you," Rebecca said, understanding.

He bit his lip. "They could have," he said. "She stayed for dinner the other night and…and I got so turned on by the way she fucking ate, can you believe that? We were up in the bedroom in seconds, going at it like rabid bunnies, Becky. Damn, my kids could have walked up there…" he shook his head. "What am I supposed to do?"

Rebecca shrugged. She really didn't know. But she would tell him as soon as she figured it out.

**A/N: Step one in Rebecca's "treatment" for Elliot's "Problem" comes as a bit of a surprise to Olivia. And her first night in the house is emotional. Why? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: A suggestion, a realization, a little emotion. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia stood in the doorway, her arms folded, watching Elliot help Kathy move her boxes and bags. She felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that she wouldn't be leaving if she could control her feelings for Elliot, if she hadn't slept with this woman's husband.

Then again, she thought, she wouldn't have slept with him if he hadn't desperately needed her to.

She thought back to earlier that morning, as her and Elliot sat perched on Rebecca's couch, talking about their sex-life, how intense and uncontrolled it seemed to be. Elliot finally came clean, his deep-rooted reason for being so addicted to sex, to Olivia.

Olivia was surprised, though she'd read all about it. He couldn't sleep with Kathy. He couldn't physically do it. They'd managed, very few times, because his powerful fantasy of Olivia guided him. He was harboring some serious sexual tension, his libido was strained and now that he was free to have to the woman who fed his craving, he wanted her. All the time.

Olivia couldn't get the look in Rebecca's eyes out of her head. The fire, the pride, the accomplishment. The doctor had told them that when something that strong was kept locked up and under pressure for so long, exposing it and letting it loose is near-deadly. "Catastrophic," Rebecca had said, her word of choice. "The only thing there is to do is ride out the Tsunami and pray you don't drown. The only thing Elliot can do, for now, is give in."

Olivia was beyond speechless. He was expected to give into his urges, no matter where, no matter when, until they could be controlled. "The fulfilling of your desire will sate you enough, in time, to regulate your impulses," Rebecca said. "Then you can give yourselves a routine. Whatever works for you, but you will need it, regularly, Elliot."

Elliot chuckled, sounding like he'd won the lottery, and Olivia looked as though she was on the bough of the Titanic, sinking fast. Elliot was a machine, and this was going to be like plugging him into a high-voltage power source. That was four and half hours ago, and since then, they'd had sex in an elevator, the car, and a grocery store's back alley. He was insatiable and no matter what mood she was in, she was always ready whenever he was.

Now, watching him move the boxes, watching his muscles ripple beneath his tee shirt, she found herself wanting him, not the other way around.

"Where's Mom going?" Lizzie asked, dropping her head against Olivia's hip. The action brought Olivia out of her reverie. "Liv? Do you know?"

Olivia wrapped an arm around the young girl. "To your grandmother's, honey."  
"She's not coming back, right?" the youngest blonde asked, knowing the answer.

Olivia shook her head. "No, honey," she said.

Elliot came back in the house, shot Olivia a hot look, and moved past her for more boxes. Kathy, though, folded her arms. "I can't believe you kids. I'm not even gone and you asked her to…"

"Dad need her, Mom," Maureen offered. "We all do. It's gonna be weird here without you. Liv will just make it…easier."

Dickie nodded. "We're gonna miss you, Mom."

Kathy ran her hand through her son's hair, and she kissed his forehead. "This is for the best. You all know that. You'll stay with me until your father picks you up, and when he has long cases. When I get a place of my own, that is," she said.

Kathleen nodded. "Okay," she said. "Makes sense." She gave her mother a hug and shook her head. "Guess you can only try so many times before you realize it's not worth fighting for," she said.

Kathy sighed. "Guess so," she said, choosing not to expose their father's infidelity, or as far as she knew, his thoughts of it. She followed Elliot back out of the house with her eyes as he carried the last of her things to the truck. "I should…"

"Yeah," Olivia said, dropping her eyes. "Kathy, I never meant…"

"Save it, Olivia," Kathy spat. "You're innocent in this. Don't apologize for nothing and make me like you, not now."

Olivia gave her a small smile. "Sorry," she said quickly.

Kathy rolled her eyes, kissed each child on the forehead, and left, closing the door behind her for the last time.

"So that's it," Maureen said, sighing. "She's gone."

Dickie looked up at Olivia. "You know Dad's gonna want coffee when he gets back. Coffee, and cookies, Liv. He needs chocolate."

Olivia laughed. "Oh, he does? And how are you guys?" She looked at each child, concerned. "Really, I mean it. Talk to me."

"We'll be okay," Kathleen said, folding her arms and shrugging.

Lizzie walked over to the couch and sat, not even noticing how empty the shelves were. "We have been waiting for one of them to leave. Expecting it. We just…we just all thought it would be Dad."

"So we really have to stay with Mom when you guys have long cases?" Dickie asked, almost whining. "Maureen's eighteen, she can watch…"

"Those are the terms of the custody agreement," Olivia said, "Not what he wants."

Dickie nodded. "Oh," he said. "Okay." He pressed his lips together and sat beside his sister. "It's quiet."

"No yelling," Maureen said, chuckling.

Olivia smiled a bit. "When your dad gets home, I'll yet at him, how's that?"

"Please don't," Lizzie said.

"She was kidding," Kathleen informed. "You know she would never yell at Dad. At least, not the way Mom does. Did." She felt the sting of tears. "Oh, God, Liv, she's gone! She's really gone. It's really over."

Olivia caught Kathleen s she collapsed and sobbed, and her heart shattered. "Katie," she said, rubbing a hand over the teenager's back. "Katie sweetie…I…I'm so…I'm so sorry." Her own tears welled up in her eyes. The guilt, and the guilt of not feeling so guilty, came to light as she watched the girl in her arms break down.

She needed Elliot. She couldn't do this alone. She was starting to think she couldn't do this at all.

* * *

Elliot walked into the house, threw his keys on the coffee table, and ran a hand down his face. "That was awful," he said.

The kids, silent as they sat scattered around the seats in the parlor, just stared at him.

"Where's Liv?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Dickie pointed down the hall. "Bathroom," he said.

"She's been in there for, like, twenty minutes, Dad," Maureen said, shaking her head. "She cooked and then she said she had to…"

"I got it," he interrupted, running down the hall to the bathroom. He knocked lightly on the door. "Liv?"

Wiping her eyes frantically, she cleared her throat. "I'll be right out."

"Liv," he said, pushing into the room. "What are you…" he closed the door and took a good look at her. "Were you crying?"

She sniffled. "No," she said, not looking at him.

"Don't lie to me," he said softly, cupping her chin gently. "Baby, why are you crying?"

She sniffled again and shook her head. "Because we didn't think. El, I held your daughter as she cried, she told me…they all thought you'd leave, not her. Your son hate her, El, he's blaming her, he has no idea…"

"Shh," he soothed, pulling her into his arms. "They don't know, Liv. And they won't. Kathy and I talked to them, we told them it was a mutual decision, so whomever they choose to blame…"

Olivia shook her head. "I can't…I shouldn't be here, El. Not like this. Not…"

He pressed his lips to hers. "Don't leave me alone with them," he whispered. "They want you here, baby. They asked for you to stay here. They know I'd fall apart without you, and you know they're right."

She looked up into his eyes. "We don't even…I don't know what I'm doing," she confessed. "I can't be…"

"No one is asking you to be anything other than who you are," he interrupted, keeping his voice low. "They want you here to be you, to keep them grounded. I need you here, because I love you and I can't spend ten minutes alone without going crazy without you." He gave her nose a gentle tap with his. "Look at me."

She turned her head slightly, raised her eyes, and she was met with bright blue reflections of love, a promise that he was telling the truth. They pulled her toward him, they compelled her. "What?"

"I love you," he whispered. "I got out of a marriage I felt trapped in, because I wanted a hot at being happy with you, because I love you. Why isn't that enough?"

She swallowed hard. Her hands slid down his chest. "Because it's never enough," she said, her voice cracking as the admission left her mouth.

"Oh, Liv, I know, baby," he gruffed, his hands working over her body. He kept his eyes on hers, feeling the heat, the uncontrollable desire, rising through his body. He knew this was not the right time, or the best place, but they had talked to Rebecca, and she gave them her advice. Remembering the doctor's words, Elliot pulled up the hem of Olivia's tee shirt. "We have to try to get a grip on this. Becky said if we…"

"I know what she said," Olivia interrupted. "I don't get it, either, but she's a sex therapist, Elliot. She would know."

Elliot grumbled in frustration and defeat as he pushed her back against the sink. "Every time?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper as he tried to work her pants down. "If we give into this, each other, every time…"

"She said it'll slow us down, El," Olivia interrupted. "She said it'll release the tension, stop you from feeling so…"

He shut her up by pressing his hand over her mouth. "Do you know how often this is gonna happen?" he hissed, shoving his own jeans down and thrusting into her, catching her yelp in his palm. "Do you have any idea?" he asked, pulling out of her with a grunt.

Moaning into his hand, her eyes rolling back into her head, she nodded. She knew exactly how often it would happen. How many times a day he would need to touch her, taste her, be inside of her. How many times she would have to kiss him, feel him, give herself to him and take him in return. The number was high, but not surprising. Not in their situation.

He pressed his hand harder over her mouth, bending his head close to hers. "God, baby," he whispered in her ear. "Fuck. Always so…what I need," he mumbled, his lips grazing her skin. "Don't scream," he said softly.

She nodded, her moan quiet. Her eyes rolled as he hit into her, and he moved his hand. "El," she whispered. "El, the kids are…"

"Shh," he hushed, like he'd done before, looking into her eyes. "Quiet, baby." He held her eyes in place with his as he moved, getting deep inside of her. When it became too much, too intense, he dropped his eyelids and pressed his lips to hers.

Her already soft moans were muffled by the kiss, the passionate tangling and melding of tongues and lips passing between them. She moaned more, but just as soft, as her hands wrapped around his neck. She fell faster, deeper, into the dark abyss waiting for her. Her body tightened, every muscle stiffening.

He felt her clenching around him, felt her tightening like a vice around him. He grunted as he kissed her, held onto her tighter, moved slower as he tried to pull and push through her pulsating walls. "Liv," he murmured, "Fuck, Liv, baby."

"El," she moaned, shaking in his arms. She slammed her lips into his, coming undone and blowing apart. She whimpered into his mouth, trembling against his body.

He wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her up, supporting her as she lost the ability to support herself, and he pulled his head back to look at her. To watch her. "Look at me," he asked, the second time that night.

Her hazy eyes met his, and though she was spent, she felt a shudder of pleasure roll through her when he grunted and spurted into her, dropping his head to the crook of her neck. "God," he gasped, fighting for breath, and for control. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She clutched his head, running her fingers through his short hair. "Okay, El," she whispered. "It's okay."

He shook his head. "It's not," he said. "It's not okay, baby. I can't expect you to…"

She pressed her lips to his. "You can. I will."

He took a deep breath and he smiled at her, and he knew. She wasn't Kathy, and he was going to be okay. As long as he had her, and a way to let go.

**A/N: Elliot's "second step" proves to be more trouble than its worth, and he goes right back to step one. A day at work, with rumors flying. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: A session, and a surprise.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters are owned by Dick Wolf. This story is owned by TStabler©**

"Compulsive masturbation," Rebecca said, peering over her glasses at Elliot.

Elliot scoffed. "Yeah," he said, nodding. "Wait. Does it count if Liv's…"

"Elliot!" Olivia, beside him, snapped at him and slapped him in the arm.

He chuckled then said, "Sorry, Sorry. Yeah. There's a lot of that. Go on."

Rebecca eyed him for a moment, then looked back down at her notepad. "Multiple affairs," she said, dry and stoic.

"Absolutely not," he said firmly. "There's just Liv."

Rebecca scribbled something down and said, "Guess that means I can just cross out multiple partners, then?"

"That would be a good idea," he replied, nodding. He squeezed Olivia's hand, glanced at her, and exhaled harshly. "Hit me again, Doc."

"Consistent use of pornography," Rebecca said, making an odd humming noise. "Read about this one, I think."

Elliot chuckled. "Uh, the only porn I have is a couple of pictures of Liv naked." He tilted his head and said, "I use them pretty consistently, though, so…"

"Told you," Rebecca said, silencing him. "Read it. Moving on. Unsafe sex?"

Olivia laughed at that. "Becky," she said, shaking her head, "We're not using…"

"Got it," Rebecca said, cutting her off. "Phone or computer sex?"

Elliot let out a snort. "Well, there's a lot of sexting. Uh, the phone, uh, yeah. We've used the phone. And I've been known to initiate some idle web-chat with her at work."

"That takes care of the next question," Rebecca said, sighing. "Public lewdness or exhibitionism. You two have an 'anytime-anywhere' attitude, so I am sure you've…"

"Up against walls," Elliot interjected. "In the car in the middle of the day, in the house, at work. Yeah. Public. Got that one down."

Rebecca put her pen down, took her glasses off, and rubbed her eyes. "Well, Detective Stabler, you have fifteen out of twenty characteristics of a sex addict."

"What do I win?" Elliot asked, smirking.

Rebecca shook her head as Olivia chuckled. "Elliot, this could get serious. It's affecting your work, interrupting your sleep pattern…"

"Hey, you're the one who told me to give into my urges," he said, shutting her up. "Anytime, anywhere, that was your idea, so…"

"I was talking to Olivia," Rebecca interrupted. "You're problem, Elliot, is keeping her from doing her job. You wake her up at all hours of the night. Have you seen the marks you're leaving on her?"

"I haven't heard her complain," Elliot said smugly, poking the inside of his cheek.

Rebecca bit her lip. "That's because instead of…instead of making your problem go away, all we've done is give Olivia one."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Oh, this isn't a problem. Do you know how many women…"

"I do," Rebecca said as she held up a hand. "And before you say what you're going to say, you should know that trying to justify your sexual behavior is the first sign of a serious addiction. This is going to get physically…" She paused and said, "Well, you're both in great shape, so maybe you won't injure yourselves. Though, have you thought about…with as much unprotected sex you're having…"

"She's on the pill," Elliot said, making a face. "I told her…"

Olivia shook her head. "He's Catholic, he would rather I not take anything, but I'm not in any position to be a mother, and we'd have a hell of a time explaining a baby right now."

He looked at her. "Baby, I told you we would handle it. It's not…"

"Hey!" Rebecca yelled. "Focus! Elliot, you are…not a small man. Olivia you are…a very well-built woman, but I just don't see how he fits…"

"Like a glove," the couple answered together, sharing a laugh.

Rebecca gave them both a stern look. "Seriously, Elliot, you could do some damage if you're too rough."

"We've dealt with the damage," he said, his face falling into deep-set guilt. "I've hurt her before, I know I have. She'd never admit it, never tell me. She doesn't want to make me feel…"

"You didn't hurt me," Olivia assured, "Not in a way that I minded."

He smiled at her, then turned to Rebecca. "So what happens now? Giving in at all costs clearly isn't solving anything, it's making it worse. Well, better, but…you know what I mean."

Rebecca hid a smirk behind her hand as she said, "Try…now, don't laugh, this is an actual step in this process."

"Just tell us," Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

"Role play," Rebecca said. "Elliot, keep it in your pants all day, and at night, play a character. Live out your fantasies."

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "Like the maid, the pizza guy, the naughty school girl, the bad teacher?"

Rebecca raised an eyebrow and looked at Olivia. "I am so sorry."

Olivia, smirking, shook her head. "Thank you."

* * *

Elliot let the door creak open. He took a step into the living room, with his suit jacket slung over his shoulder. "Hey," he said, his voice low.

Olivia, in a short plaid skirt and white oxford shirt, looked up from the couch. "Well, hi there, Mister Stabler."

"Did the kids give you any trouble?" he asked, resting his jacket over the back of the couch. He let his eyes wander down the length of her body, he let out a soft growl.

"They were perfect little angels," she said, standing. "Well, now that you're home, I should probably…"

"Stay," he said, his eyes darkening. "Have a drink with me."

Olivia giggled and twirled her hair. "I have a midterm I have to study for, my professor is very strict. If he finds out I was out drinking…"

"It'll be our little secret," he whispered, moving toward her. He ran his right hand up her leg, under her skirt.

"Oh," Olivia said. "Mister Stabler, I don't think is such a good idea. If I stay, then I'll have to walk all the way back to…"

"I'll drive you back to campus, Olivia," he said, eyes dark. "I would never want anything bad to happen to you, and I know how rough these city streets can be at night."

Olivia nodded, feeling Elliot's hands slide up and down her thighs. "Yeah, there are a lot of dangerous people out there." She moved toward him, almost kissing him. "You'll protect me, Mister Stabler."

"All right," Elliot said as he pulled away from her and shook his head. "Liv, I feel like an idiot," he said. "The French maid thing was hot. The pizza guy thing, that was okay. By the way, if you ever really answer the door in that black thing I'll…"

"El," she said, resting a hand on his shoulder, "What's bothering you? This whole naughty babysitter thing was, like, your ultimate…"

"It's too much fucking work!" he spat in a harsh whisper. "I just…I want you, baby. You look fucking incredible in this outfit, but I…I would rather just tell you I love you, tease the shit out of you, and make sweet love to you in the bedroom. You. Not the woman who ordered the pizza, or the barely legal college freshman."

She smiled at him and cupped his face. "El, that was really sweet."

"What?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"You just said you don't want to sleep with anyone but me," she whispered, rubbing her nose against his. "Even if it's just me in a silly costume."

He smirked and put his hands on her hips, guiding her toward the wall of the room. "Damn right," he said, his lips brushing over her neck. "Just you. You in this skirt."

She moaned when he pushed her against the plaster, and she chuckled when his lips came into contact with her skin, driving across her neck and chest. "You were pretty calm today," she said, her breath quickening.

"Calm? How many times was I in the fucking bathroom?" he asked, peppering her body with soft kisses as he slipped his hands up her skirt to grab her panties.

She moaned as he slid them down over her legs and said, "I meant when Fin said you looked like you got laid."

"Oh, I was ready to slug him," he hissed, moving to unbuckle his belt. "When Munch started in on you, telling you that you had bedroom eyes and a smile that meant…God, he's lucky I respect him too much to hit him."

"You know they're talking, right?" she said, biting her bottom lip as she felt his tip poking at her entrance.

His hands slid up and down her thighs, under her skirt. He gripped her ass and hiked her legs up around his waist, and he said, "About us? Let 'em talk. As long as they never find out…"

"That we came home, made sure the kids were asleep, and spent the last five hours acting our ridiculous fantasies?" she asked, grinning.

He chuckled, kissed her, and pushed into her. "No," he mumbled against her lips, relishing in the still-tight squeeze, amazed at how her body always seemed to retract after he stretched her. "That I love you. I love you so damn much."

She gasped when he pushed into her, deep, and gripped the back of his head. "I love you, too, El. God, baby, I do."

He kissed her, holding her head against his with one hand around her neck as he thrust slowly, keeping her pinned against the wall. "I know you do," he muttered. "That's why you're still here. Why you're still with me."

She nodded, moving with him, feeling him bringing on yet another glorious orgasm. "Always," she whispered, biting his bottom lip. "Right here."

Footsteps on the stairs broke them apart. Elliot spat a harsh curse, pulling out of Olivia, dropping her to the floor, and rushing to pull up his pants. "Shit," he hissed again, moving as fast as he could.

Olivia, not wanting to have to answer any questions about why she looked like schoolgirl, ran into the nearest door, the closet.

"Dad?" the teen girl climbing down the steps asked, yawning.

"Maureen, why are you awake?" he asked, breathless, anxious, on the verge of blowing up.

Maureen shook her head. "Heard something," she said. "Guess it was you. Why are you still in your suit?"

"Paperwork," he muttered, clenching his fists. "You, uh, you can go back to bed. Sorry I woke you."

Maureen yawned and nodded. "Where's Liv?"

"Bed," Elliot said, his eyes watering, the burn in his body and ache in his groin becoming unbearable.

"Oh, okay." Maureen headed back up the stairs with another yawn, and as soon as she was out of view, Elliot opened the closet door and pressed himself into Olivia. He closed the door behind him, moved the coats aside, and pulled down his pants again.

"Jesus, Elliot," Olivia moaned. "We were almost…she almost…"

"Almost doesn't count," he said to her, pushing back into her and moving, rocking her into the wall of the dark closet. "God, Liv, this is...damn, baby."

With a moan and a chuckle, Olivia knew that she would have to talk to Becky in the morning. As a friend. And she would have to talk to another doctor. Someone who could convince her this was okay, that this wasn't a problem, and help her deal with Elliot in a different way. George.

**A/N: Becky and Ryan have a moment, Olivia talks to her woman-to-woman and finds out that Rebecca has plans for her and Elliot. And a conversation with Huang that changes things. Review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: An attempt, a failure, an acceptance**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters are owned by Dick Wolf. This story is owned by TStabler©**

"You're risking your license for these people." Ryan looked at his girlfriend, buttoning up her shirt, and he shook his head. "I don't get you."

"Olivia is my best friend," Rebecca said, standing. She reached for her pants, slipping them on. "I want her to be happy. I want her to make up for all the years of abuse, neglect, and shitty relationships she's had."

"By feeding her partner's unhealthy addiction to sex?" Ryan asked, stunned. "You know better than anyone that…"

Rebecca scoffed, interrupting him. "It's not a hostile or criminal addiction," she said. "He's addicted to her, Ry. Just her. He is no danger of committing any crime, or hurting anyone else."

Ryan shook his head. "You are fucking with the wrong fucking people, Beck. You're gonna get fucked."

Rebecca smirked at him. "I already have been," she said, seductive and smirking. "By you. And it was fantastic."

Ryan chuckled. "All right, use your charm to get me to back off, I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I deal with sex every day, Ryan. In all its deviant forms." She kissed him and walked toward the door. "There is nothing deviant about what Olivia and Elliot are doing. Eventually their bodies are going to wear out and they'll have to slow down. Until I see that there's a legitimate problem with Elliot, I'm not treating this as severe addiction."

"Becky! You told them to role play!" Ryan yelled, rolling his eyes. "That's feeding his addiction. Isn't it?"

"No," Rebecca said, sighing. "If it works, it'll calm him down."

Ryan shook his head, straightening his hat. "It won't work," he said. "They're deeper than that, can handle more, I think…"

"How do you know?" Rebecca asked, folding her arms.

Ryan smirked. "They're the lead detectives in my precinct, I used to run the lab for them, do you know how much time I spent with them? If they have any kind of fetish, it is not playing dress up. Look at what they do for a living, Beck, I mean, they're gonna wanna make it hot, romantic, less sick and twisted than what they deal with at work."

Rebecca tilted her head. "You are…a genius," she said, kissing him again. "Thank you." She tapped him on the nose and walked out of her office, meeting Olivia for lunch.

* * *

She walked into the café, looked around, and saw her friend, sitting with a tall drink. She sat, saying nothing, and looked at her. "I have solved your problem."

"Rebecca," Olivia said, holding up a hand, "Look, I love you, I do, but I don't want my therapist right now, I want my friend. I really need to just…talk to you."

Rebecca blinked, seeing that Olivia didn't look so good. "What happened?"

Olivia bit her lip, shook her head, and said, "The closet. We fucked in the closet last night, after his daughter almost caught us." She rolled her eyes and said, "This morning Maureen asked me to keep an eye on him, She said he was only holding it together for her and the other kids, and she had a feeling he would break down if…"

"So his children really don't know?" Rebecca asked, cutting her off.

Olivia shook her head. "No," she whispered, sipping her drink. "And what's going on with us…the sex is amazing, I'm not saying it's not, but…"

"You feel like that's all there is," Rebecca said, nodding. "Love, the man has a problem, and until we sort it out sex is going to be the primary focus here. You know he loves you, and you know this is more than that."

"We can't talk about it, we can't go anywhere together, we can't even hold hands or kiss in the house when the kids are awake, they'll flip." She sipped her drink again. "Lizzie actually…her exact words were, 'Liv, I want my Dad to be happy, but I think it's gonna be real nice to see him be himself for a while." She chuckled and said, "By himself. They don't want him…"

"What do you want? What does he want?" Rebecca asked.

Olivia smiled. "I want him. All of him. I want to be there for him, I want to love him, Becks. I don't want to have to hide the fact that I'm finally happy from the rest of the world. My whole world changed and I have to pretend it didn't. For the first time in my life I have this incredible, emotional sex-life and I can't talk about it. Well, except with you."

Rebecca sighed. "I have to be honest with you, I haven't exactly been doing everything I could to try to...help."

Olivia laughed. "Thank God you can admit it," she said.

"You…you knew?" Rebecca asked, stunned. "Olivia, I never meant to…"

"Please, you knew what you were doing." Olivia handed the waiter the menu and ordered a sandwich, then looked back at Rebecca. "You were giving us tips that George only gave people who had the completely opposite problem."

"I wanted you to have him, Olivia," Rebecca sighed. "You've wanted him for years, and when I found out he wanted you, in every possible way, I did what I could to…"

"Keep him addicted? Why?" Olivia asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "You thought he'd leave? Or I'd run?"

Rebecca slumped in her seat. "You've always run," she said. "I thought if he was absolutely dependent on you, needed you, you'd stay for him. You deserve…"

"Ya know what?" Olivia interrupted, "I'm not hungry anymore." She threw down a twenty dollar bill as she rose, and she sighed. "Thank you. You did it. I can't leave him, Becks. Because I'm just as addicted as he is now."

Rebecca ran a hand through her hair and watched Olivia leave, angry. She didn't even get a chance to suggest their next step.

* * *

Elliot was anxious, irritable, trying to get his work done, but snapping at everyone at the same time. "That's not the point!" he yelled at Munch. "This prick is obviously getting in and out of the school unnoticed, so he's either a staff member, a student, or invisible!"

Olivia, hungry from skipping lunch, was also on edge, but watching him fly off the handle was wearing her out. She closed her eyes and snapped, "Enough, Elliot!" She opened her eyes, met his shocked face, and said, "Can I talk to you, please? Upstairs."

Elliot poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, annoyed, and he tilted his head. "You got something to say to me, Benson, you say it."

"Fine," Olivia said. "You're being a real dick, and you need to calm the fuck down."

Elliot's eyes flashed something between anger and lust. "Right, upstairs," he said, gesturing to the steps. He stalked up them, knowing she was following him, and he threw the door to the bunkroom open. "What?" he hissed.

Olivia slammed the door behind her and said, "It's affecting your mood now!"

"It always has!" he yelled. "Why the fuck do you think I got so pissy all the time? Ever notice that I'm more of an asshole when I'm with you in an interrogation, or when I'm alone in one and I'm thinking about you, wondering why you're not there? It's because…"

She pulled him to her and kissed him. "Because of this?" she asked, whispering against his lips. "Because you want me," she told him, skimming her hands down his body. "Because you need me."

"Fuck, Liv, yes," he hissed, grabbing her hips and stopped her from moving. "You know it." He turned her and slammed her into the wall. He yanked her pants down ungracefully and said, "You need me just as much. I'm sorry I did this to you, but I'm fucking loving it."

She laughed and cupped his face, pressing her lips to his as he worked their pants off. "I talked to George," she moaned, feeling his hand slip through her folds.

"God, you're dripping," he chuckled. "What did he say?" He pushed his boxers down and slipped a finger into her, twisting, getting her ready. "Tell me, baby," he said, listening to her moans.

She groaned as he added another finger. "He said you…God, El, he said that you need to talk to him. He wants you to meditate, take some kind of vitamin," she said, still kissing him.

He grabbed a hold of his stiffened member, lined up at her entrance, and removed his fingers. He brought them to his lips and sucked them, making her roll her eyes and bite her lip. "What if I don't, baby?" he asked, whispering as he pushed just his tip into her.

"Oh, God, El," she cried softly. "I don't know, I was talking about me, mostly. He said that this is…oh, shit, baby," she paused to close her eyes and breathe as he pushed further in. "This is a psychological dependency manifesting itself as physical addiction. Because…because I've been in love with you for so long, and couldn't have you."

"Really?" he whispered, cocky, as he thrust forward, sheathing into her completely. "How do we stop it?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. "We don't," she said softly, her head thrown back into the wall behind her and a grin on her face. "God, you feel so fucking wonderful."

"Mmm, baby, you're always so hot and tight," he said, nipping at her neck. "And so wet. I love it. I love you." He kissed and bit at the skin of her neck, moaning as he slid out all the way and inched back in slowly. "Did he say this was a problem? Are we in trouble here?"

She shook her head again. "He told me…oh, Jesus, Elliot. He told me that this is probably a result of our desire to make sure sex is special, and pleasurable, because every day we see…"

"Makes sense," he mumbled, interrupting as he bit around her pulse. "I couldn't even touch Kathy without thinking about a case. And then to stop thinking about work, I had to think about you. And that did it. Thinking about you…us…that's what…" he grunted and moved faster, harder.

"Fuck, Elliot!" Olivia gasped, her body moving up and down against the wall as he filled her. "God, baby, so…fucking…" she bent her head, bit his shoulder, and screamed.

He laughed. "Yeah, baby, that's it." He pressed her into the wall, hitting into her. "Bite me all you want, honey." He grunted as he thrust his hips, he ran his fingers through her hair and moaned her name.

She bit harder, starting to shake. "El," she moaned, muffled by his shoulder. She whined and her body tightened, she felt it burning and aching.

"Let go, baby," he said, pulling her hair and lifting her head. "Let go." He kissed her and slowed his pace but kept up the hard, deep strokes. He saw her eyes widen and her mouth open and he slammed his mouth over hers, letting her clench around him. She dug her nails into his back and he grunted into their kiss.

She shook as she came, holding onto him, kissing him, every negative thought flying from her mind. She whimpered as he kept moving, trying to finish himself off and bring her to a glorious second orgasm. "Oh, God," she grunted, trying not to lose it.

"Liv, baby," he whispered, burying his head in the crook of her neck, "Oh, Jesus, Liv." He thrust into her and moaned, long and low, as he shot hotly into her. "Oh, baby," he whispered, rubbing her body with his hands, calming them both down.

He dropped her gently to the floor and he looked at her, smiling. "So, was it wonderful?"

"Always," she said, returning his smile. She kissed him slowly and pulled away, then bent to pick up her pants. She was almost fully dressed, as was he, and they were about to share another sweet kiss when the door swung open.

Both heads turned, and they both stood still, silent. Elliot cleared his throat and tried to smile as he said, "Hey, Cap."

**A/N: Uh-oh! O..O Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: A botched cover-up, a confession, and a moment of truth.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Cragen folded his arms, his face turning slightly redder than it was a moment ago. "One of you, explain. Now. What was the yelling, and the…"

"My fault," Elliot said, raising a hand and offering a sheepish smile. "I let things…I let my personal life get in the way of work, Cap. You know things with Kathy…"

Cragen cut him off. "You want me to believe you were fighting with your partner about your divorce this whole time?"

Elliot bit his lip, nodding. "Yeah…I was being rude, impossible, irritating. She was trying to calm me down, and I blew up at her for it. We, uh, worked it all out."

Cragen dropped his arms, narrowing his eyes. "I was born during the day, but it wasn't yesterday. You two cut this out, now, before I suspend both your asses for fraternization and lewd conduct."

Elliot's eyes widened. "What? Cap, we…"

"You both look like you just ran a fucking marathon, Elliot! Not to mention you were up here for a good half hour, and it never takes that long for her to smack the sense back into you. I know you're going through hell with your divorce and you wanna make up for lost time, but don't fucking do it with Benson." He turned sharply to Olivia then. "And you just let this happen? What, you think just because he's your partner you have to give him what he needs, what he wants, when he wants it?"

Olivia folded her arms. "This wasn't like…"

"Downstairs," Cragen barked. "Back to work, and you'd better be damn grateful that I'm not telling anyone about this." He shook his head on his way out.

Elliot sighed. "Liv, he…"

"I know," she said, stopping him. "He doesn't get it. It's fine. I don't really wanna tell him about…us."

"Why'd you do that?" he asked, turning to her.

She tilted her head and scrunched her face. "Do what?"

"You hesitated," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Before you said 'us' you stopped, like you didn't know what you were talking about. We are definitely an 'us."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "We have to get back to work," she said, walking away from him, and out of the door. She rushed down the stairs, hoping that they could go the rest of the day without broaching that particular subject again.

Elliot, though, wasn't taking her avoidance lightly. He was still pissed off from the tension of the morning, and having his captain think he was using Olivia didn't sit well with him. Every chance he got, he would ask her what she meant, why she paused, what she felt. And in response, he got eye rolls and "never minds."

* * *

She was almost afraid to get into the car with him when their night finally ended, and her anxiety was justified when she fastened her seatbelt.

"All right, we're alone, and we're not at work," he said, looking at her from the driver's seat. "Please, tell me what made you…"

"I didn't know what to call it, all right?" she yelled, finally snapping. "I'm sorry, but I didn't know if it was a…I was thinking 'this' before I thought 'us.' I don't feel like there is an 'us' right now, El. I don't. I know how I feel, and I know how you feel, but the way this is all happening…"

He brought a finger to her lips, stopping her from speaking. "I get it. I get it, and I'm sorry. If I could change things, I…"

She slapped his hand away from her mouth and she looked at him. "Stop apologizing," she said, fire in her eyes. "None of this is your fault. And if it is, I'm just as much to blame. I'm happy, El, I am, but I know that we both deserve more than this. Call me selfish, but I want more. I don't want to hide in the closet every time…"

"Oh, God, baby, is that what this is about?" he asked, trying to breathe. "I just…yeah, I guess we could have tried to explain it, but…they're not ready for this. You know they're not." He brushed her hair out of her eyes, took a deep breath, and he said, "I talked to Cragen."

Her eyes widened. "What?" she choked.

"Relax," he said. "I didn't tell him anything. I told him I wasn't sure what he thought he walked in on, but it wasn't…I told him we were fighting, it got physical, but not…I didn't give him details. I told him I kissed you, because he did see us awfully close there for a second, but I made sure he knew that you weren't some rebound or something I had to get out of my system, and I told him he stopped us before it could happen again."

"Really?" Olivia asked, soft and meek.

"I don't think he bought it," he said with a shrug. He twisted his fingers in her hair, pulling lightly. He heard her moan and he smiled. "You know how crazy I am about you, don't you? You know how much I love you?"

She smiled at him, breathing deep, and said, "So you tell me."

He chuckled. "I love you, so much it hurts sometimes. I'm physically and emotionally addicted to you, and it's the most amazing feeling in the world." He leaned closer to her, brushed his lips over hers, and said, "I'll talk to George tomorrow. Once we get a handle on this, then maybe we can calm down enough to take things a little slower."

She kissed him again, sliding her hand over his thigh. "I don't wanna go slower, I just wanna go forward," she whispered. "If that makes any sense."

He nodded. "It does," he told her with a small smile. "Just…promise me you're not gonna freak out on me and…"

"Would have happened already," she interrupted. "I'm not going anywhere, El. I can't." She smiled brighter and said, "I told your kids I'd make them waffles tomorrow morning, and I can't break that promise."

He laughed. "So you're staying for my kids, I get it," he said, chuckling and kissing her again.

"I love you," she whispered to him, so quiet it was almost inaudible.

He smiled against her lips and pulled her closer, only stopping when her seatbelt resisted. He chuckled and moved his hand over her body, unclipping the belt.

She slipped out of it, laughing, and said, "I hate you."

"Do not," he said with a grunt, pulling her onto his lap. He ran his hands up and down her legs as he smoother her body around his. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

"Don't ruin this, El," she said, nipping at his lips.

He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. "You are. More beautiful than any woman I've ever known, inside and out, Liv. It's only a small bit of why I fell in love with you. But you're body…is so incredible. I never take the time to really tell you that, really savor you, take you in." He bent his head and latched onto her neck, suckling as he tried to work the zipper down on her pants.

She moaned, from the feelings his words and actions were stirring up, and gripped his body tightly. "We never take time…at all…period…"

He groaned, slipping his hand into her pants. He stroked her through her silk panties, then he said, "Tonight we are. I wanna take my time with you now." He pecked at her neck, soothing the angry red mark he had made, and he made a frustrated noise. "Not here."

She pulled away from him, surprised. "What? We were just…"

"Baby, I want to take my time, love you right, in the bed. I wanna show you that this is more than…"

She cut him off, slamming her lips over his and bucking into him. "I know it is. I'm just…" she sighed and bit her lip. "I'm scared, El. This is all so…fast. Amazing. Everything I wanted, and I…"

"It's me," he whispered, searching her eyes. "I promised you a long time ago I would never let anything happen to you. That no one would hurt you. I'm including myself in that, baby."

She smiled, remembering something Rebecca had said, or tried to say, and she kissed him. She licked and kissed his neck, trailing to his ear. She sucked his earlobe into her mouth, nibbling. "Make love to me, El," she whispered, her hot breath teasing his skin.

He groaned and bucked up into her, rubbing against her. "You sure you wanna do this here?"

"You do," she said, still into his ear, as her hands trailed down to his pants. "You need this, I need this. Now, baby."

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, moving to help her shift his pants enough to release him. He knew she was right, and he knew what she was doing. If they did it now, before they got home, they'd be able to exert a bit of self control around the kids. "Oh, Jesus, Liv," he seethed, feeling her slide over him, fitting tightly around him.

She cupped his face, staring at his closed eyes, and she kissed him. "Look at me," she said, echoing the words he always said to her.

He smirked as he opened his eyes, they were somehow bluer, somehow brighter. "God, the way you fucking move," he groaned as she rode him.

She grinned, keeping her eyes on his, rocking over him, forcing him out and in, dragging her nails down his chest and over his shoulders. She was gone, completely gone, it was clear now.

He held her tight, kissing her neck, chest, chin, and lips. "I love you," he said, over and over, as his fingers trailed over her body lightly, touching every bit of her.

She dropped her head back and for the first time, she let it come over her slowly, build up, take her over and consume her fully.

He felt it happening beneath her, inside of her, and his eyes watered as she clenched and tightened. He ran his hands up her back, supporting and caressing her as her entire body went rigid. "Baby," he whispered, amazed at what was happening.

She had her lip caught between her teeth when she lifted her head, only to drop it forward against his. She breathed quickly, silently panting as she shook against him.

He moved as best as he could, feeling his body begin to tighten and the heat rise from his feet to the top of his head. "God, Olivia," he moaned, kissing her.

"Elliot," she cried softly. "El, baby, so…fucking…"

"Shh," he shushed. Pressing his lips to hers, he slammed his hips up, into her, and gripped her body, holding her down.

She cried out into his mouth, shaking more violently, as he'd brought on a second intense release right on the heels of her first. She moaned, whimpered, and gripped him as she felt him pulsing.

He moved, thrusting a few more times, then he came, hot and powerful. "Damn, baby," he hissed, loosening his grip as he slid his hands up her body and brushed her hair back. "My , God, you really are just as bad as me." He laughed and kissed her, smiling against her lips.

She stilled, keeping her head against his and her lips working with his hungry mouth. She moaned and chuckled, but he was wrong. She wasn't just as bad. She'd realized, in her unwillingness to wait, her need for him immediately, that she was worse.

Or so she thought.

**A/N: Elliot talks to George, Olivia talks to Rebecca, and Cragen talks to himself. Kathy makes a phone a call, and Olivia makes waffles. Addiction is bad, but withdrawal is worse. Next, review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: A weird morning, a few conversations, and a darker side of Elliot.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia was struggling with the waffle iron, listening to the clinging of plates and flatware as the kids set the table for breakfast. She had never made anything this complicated before, and hoped she was doing it right for the kids' sake.

Elliot walked into the kitchen, his pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips, and he smiled. "Smells great in here," he said, walking over to Olivia.

She raised an eyebrow and turned her head. "Yeah, just don't shoot me if they taste like crap."

He laughed and moved to kiss her, but stopped himself. All four of his kids were in the room. He sighed and looked at her with a small smile and a wink, and she bit her lip as she turned back to the waffle iron.

She peeled the waffles off of the hot plates and put them onto a plate, then plopped the plate onto the table, before adding more batter to the iron.

"They look like Mom's," Lizzie said, picking one up. "They smell better, though."

Kathleen scoffed. "That's the lack of the stecnch of annoyance. Mom was always pissed off when she made them. She hated Sundays."

"She didn't hate Sundays," Maureen said, shaking her head. "She just hated the fights she got into with Dad every Saturday night, so she woke up in a rotten mood on Sunday."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Can we please try to enjoy breakfast? Liv went through a lot of trouble to keep things normal for you today, so stop yakking about your mother and eat the waffles."

Dickie eyed him for a moment, then he smirked and looked back at Olivia. "Hey, uh, my history teacher thinks you're pretty, Liv."

Olivia turned as Elliot choked on his hot coffee. "How did he…"

"I showed him your picture," Dickie interrupted, shoving a bite of waffle into his mouth. "He just broke up with our math teacher, and I told him about you."

"What? Why would you do that?" Elliot asked, annoyed and his tongue burning.

Dickie shrugged. "I thought maybe…if Liv went out with him…and I had something to do with it…"

"Dickface is failing history," Kathleen said. "He wants to fix him up with Liv so he'll get an A."

Olivia folded her arms and laughed. "Well, thanks," she said.

"Absolutely not," Elliot affirmed, trying to breathe again. "No way. Dickie what is wrong with you? You don't just volunteer Liv to…"

"It's okay, El," Olivia interrupted, saving Dickie from a lecture. "Besides, Dickie, honey, I'm…um, I'm seeing someone, so I…"

Lizzie gasped. "Who?" she asked, excited. "Oh, my God! Is he cute? Are you gonna marry him?"

Olivia pulled the cooked waffles off of the waffle iron as she laughed. "He's very cute, yes, and I don't think we're ready for marriage yet."

Kathleen looked at her father. "Dad, did you know about this?" she asked.

Elliot gave Olivia a soft glare, then looked at his daughter. "Yeah. I know all about him."

"And you're actually okay with it?" Maureen asked, stunned. "Usually, when she has a boyfriend you rant and rave and complain, and you…"

"Who wants more waffles?" Elliot asked suddenly, stopping her and passing the pate of food to Kathleen. "These are really good, Liv."

Dickie hummed and nodded, with a mouthful, and he mumbled, "Better than Mom's."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Elliot and Olivia said at the same time, which would have been threatening if Elliot hadn't said it with a mouthful of waffles and bacon. She eyed him for a moment, then shook her head with a sigh and sat down.

"You're not gonna eat?" he asked her, still chewing.

"I'm not really hungry," she said, not looking at him. "But it's really good to know that they're edible."

He looked at her and his eyes drooped with sadness. He put his fork down, chugged the remains of his still-too-hot coffee, and got up. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Where are you going?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"I have a doctor's appointment," he said, giving her a pointed look. Again, the desire to kiss her was great, and the look in her eyes made him burst with equal parts regret and love. He turned away from her and he kissed each child on the forehead before he walked into the bedroom to change.

There was silence in the kitchen. Uncomfortable silence. Until Dickie cleared his throat. "So, uh, I'm sorry I tried to fix you up with my teacher."

Olivia chuckled. "It's okay, sweetie."

"These waffles really are good," he said with a smile.

She brushed his hair back and smiled at him, then she turned to Maureen with a quizzical expression. "Your father does what when I have a boyfriend, now?"

The table erupted in soft laughter, easing the mood. No one knew that the mood would be more than tense very soon.

* * *

Elliot opened the door, walking in with a sigh. He kicked it closed and looked down at the bottle of pills in his hand, and he ran a hand down as face as he headed into the kitchen. He stopped at the counter, putting the pills down, and he grabbed a beer.

He flicked off the bottle cap and took a swig, then picked up the pills. He sighed again as he twisted the cap, dropped a white caplet into his palm, and tossed it into his mouth. He washed it down with a long gulp of the cold beer and he slammed the half empty bottle down when he swallowed.

"Are you okay?" her voice called to him from the doorway.

He scoffed. "Fine," he said. "Just got told that I'm probably the world's biggest fuck-up, but I'm fine."

"What happened?" she asked. "What did he say to you?"

"Let's just say George Huang is very protective of you," he told her. "And he is a very blunt son of a bitch." He turned, his beer in his hands, and shook his head as he leaned against the counter. "He told me that I had overactive glands, I'm producing too much testosterone, and now that I've got, what did he call it? Oh, right. The 'piece of steak' I've always wanted, they're even more out of whack than normal to keep me 'hungry." He made an air-quote gesture with his hands.

"He called me a piece of steak?" she asked, smirking. "What did you say?"

"I told him if he ever talked about you like that again he'd be pulling his teeth out of his ass because that's where I'd shove his head after I ripped it off." He took the last sip of his beer. "That's when he prescribed vitamins and told me to start regulating how often we…eat."

"Eat?" she chuckled.

"I'm sticking with the metaphor," he said with a shrug. "A guy's gotta eat." He smirked at her as he put his empty bottle on the counter.

She stepped toward him and laughed. "Where have I heard that before?"

"Ya got me," he teased, pulling her into his arms. "Where are the kids?"

"Kathy came by and took them to Church," she said, her fingers trailing up and down his arms. "We had an interesting conversation while you were gone."

"You talked to her?" he asked, stunned, rocking her back and forth.

Olivia nodded. "She called before she came to get the kids, she said she knew you had somewhere to go and she knew I wasn't planning on going anywhere near Church. And then she told me she wanted to give me her recipe for stuffed shells because you love them."

He raised an eyebrow. "She wants to give you cooking tips?"

"She also gave me step-by-step instructions on how to use your washer and dryer, she told me which cabinet has all of Lizzie's nut-free food and where her Epi-Pens are, and she asked if I found where the buzzing noise in the basement was coming from yet."

"She…the kids really must have told her that you're helping…just helping," he said, contemplating. "She really doesn't know we've actually started this thing, this incredible and uncontrollable thing between us."

"Guess not," she said, dropping her forehead to his. "Can you do something for me? Before the kids come home?"

"Anything," he whispered, his eyes closing as he pulled her closer.

She brushed her lips over his, gripping his flesh tight. "Kiss me."

He let out a soft moan as he pressed his lips to hers, almost roughly. He snaked his arms up her body to entangle around her fully and he mumbled, against her lips, "You didn't have to ask."

"I hate weekends," she mumbled, breathlessly talking between kisses. "I missed you. I have waited all day to kiss you, and I need…God, Elliot, I need…"

"I know what you need," he interrupted, his lips covering hers again as he turned her around and lifted her onto the counter. He worked his fingers toward her waist, toying with the zipper on her jeans, and he moaned when he felt her tugging at his belt.

She grunted into his mouth, moaning in anticipation, and she nipped lightly at his tongue, then sucked on it, making him groan and growl.

He got the denim over her hips and shook his way out of his pants, just enough to move freely, and he grabbed her panties, pushing them aside. He moaned loudly as he gave his body a good nudge, the tip of him pushing into her, and he felt her wet heat enveloping him. "Damn, baby," he growled, his head falling away from their kiss and back in pleasure. "God, you feel good."

She clenched and sucked him in further, moaning when he finally moved, pushing deeper inside, and she kissed him to quiet her scream.

"No one's home," he reminded her. "You don't have to be quiet." He cupped her face as he pulled out, pushed in, and kissed her again. He rolled his eyes back and grunted softly when he heard her moan louder, finally being able to hear her after a few nights of sneaking into each other's rooms in the wee hours of the morning and remaining noiseless.

She wrapped her legs around him and brought him toward her, sending him deeper into her, and crossed her ankles at his back. "More, El," she begged, her head falling back as her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"God, you're fucking sexy," he told her with another light grunt. He moved deep, hard, and fast, holding onto her with one hand and the kitchen counter with the other, and his head dropped to her neck. He kissed, bit, sucked, and licked, the whole time whispering something she couldn't make out.

She listened as closely as she could through the sensations and heartbeat pounding in her ears, and she finally heard him. "I love you," she replied, her arms tightening around his neck. "El, God, I'm…" her words trailed off with a moan.

Elliot lost coherence at that moment, various noises and syllables coming out of his mouth as he felt her clenching and starting to shake. He gripped her hips, both hands on her body, and slammed hard into her.

She fell apart, crying his name and throwing her head back, before bringing it forward and latching onto his neck.

"Shit," he hissed as she bit, his orgasm triggered by the intensity and eroticism of the moment. He pumped her, not willing to stop, loving the noises she was making, and he dropped his head as he brought one hand to the back of hers, stroking her hair. "My God."

She nodded, panting. She kissed his bruising shoulder, soothing the sore she'd made, and she nuzzled into his neck. "Becky was right."

"About what?" he asked, pulling back a bit to look at her.

She lifted her head and grinned as she said, "I really can't let you go."

"You'll never have to," he said softly, kissing her. He lifted her off of the counter gently, unaware that in the morning, someone else had talked to Doctor Huang, and then to himself, and was going to try to prove Elliot wrong.

**A/N: The kids come home from school to a surprising sight, and what happens at work? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: An unexpected surprise, and an unexpected admission.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Maureen walked into the house, sighing, and dropped her book bag and house key on the table. She looked around, seeing and hearing nothing, and she kicked off her shoes and padded into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, and she tilted her head.

"She's actually gonna cook dinner?" she asked, smirking at the meat marinating in the pan on the shelf. "Damn," she chuckled. She closed the door and headed back into the living room, and she heard something. A moan. Or was it a yell?

She looked toward the stairs and she paused. "Liv?" she called. "Is that you?" She furrowed her brow and looked at her watch, wondering what Olivia would be doing home. She shrugged and started up the stairs, and she heard harsh whispering and quick footsteps.

She raised an eyebrow at her father's bedroom door, and she knocked. "Dad?"

"Yeah!" Elliot yelled, then he was heard chuckling and whispering to someone. "Uh, I'm changing, don't come in."

"Dad, you're not alone in there," she said, her voice was not accusing, but irritated. "Is there…Dad, you've got a woman in there!" She heard the female laugh and whisper.

Elliot cleared his throat loudly and said, "Um, yeah. Yes, I do."

Maureen huffed and folded her arms. "Just because Liv is dating someone, it doesn't give you the right to jump on the first thing with boobs that you see after Mom!"

The door opened, then, and Olivia looked at her. "He didn't jump on me," she said, hiding the smirk on her face.

"Oh, Liv, it…wait, why were you in there when my father was changing?" Maureen raised her eyebrow again, her arms still crossed.

"I helped him pick out a new shirt. I wasn't watching him…what are you doing home?" Olivia asked, changing the subject.

Elliot appeared beside her and said, "Damn good question. It's only one-thirty."

Maureen rolled her eyes. "I got sent home for snapping at my math teacher, but it was only because she wouldn't give me a break on the homework. Apparently, 'My mother just walked out and I'm the product of a broken home' isn't a valid excuse for not doing fifty quadratic equations."

"Honey," Olivia sighed. "Look, go back to school. I will call your teacher, and just…"

"Thanks," Maureen interrupted. "What are you two doing home?"

Elliot smirked. "My partner pushed me in the mud to get to the bad guy first. Cragen sent me home to change, she felt guilty, so I…"

"Right," Maureen said, the grin on her face growing. "Do you always wear your shirts backwards?"

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other, then both looked at his shirt. He cleared his throat again, shook his head, and said, "Not usually, no. I'll, uh, I'll be right back." He moved back into the master bathroom and closed the door, feeling embarrassed and nervous as he adjusted himself.

While he was gone, Maureen looked at Olivia. "You don't have to, uh, help him with _everything_, ya know."

Olivia shook her head. "Mo, honey, we weren't…"

"Just don't hurt him, Liv," Maureen sighed. "You're the only thing keeping him together, all of us really, and if you hurt him…" she took a deep breath. "I'm not blind, and I'm not dumb. I know the only reason he didn't fight harder when Mom left is because he's in love with you. I see it every time he looks at you."

Olivia slumped a bit and tried to talk, but Maureen stopped her.

"If he hasn't told you yet, it's because he's scared," the teenager explained. "You have this pretty lousy relationship track record, and my dad has always been the kinda guy that stays with someone for a really long time. Even when it's not working." She scoffed, then said, "Clearly not working, why he stayed with Mom for as long as he did…anyway, I don't think he'd be able to handle losing you. Me and the other kids have grown really attached to you, so none of us would want that. I'm asking…"

"Maureen," Olivia interrupted finally, looking her in the eyes, "I promise you, I will never hurt your father, not intentionally. And he doesn't know this, but I'm kind of in love with him, too." She winked at the blonde girl.

Maureen smiled, and then she said, "So you're gonna dump that guy you're seeing?"

Olivia looked over her shoulder, seeing Elliot next to her, listening to the conversation. She smirked and said, "If your father ever actually asks me on a date."

"Give him time," Maureen said, sighing. "So..if you two weren't…why was his shirt…"

"Your father definitely has moments where he loses all common sense," Olivia interrupted with a chuckle.

Elliot, behind her, laughed, too. He definitely had lost common sense, when he had her up against his bedroom wall for an afternoon quickie. He checked his watch and smirked wickedly. They were actually going to get back to the precinct on time, without raising suspicion now that his shirt was on right.

* * *

They walked into the bull pen just as Olivia hung up the phone, ending a conversation with the headmaster at Trinity Prep. She had assured the man that Maureen's outburst was due to emotional strain, and if she saw the guidance counselor, all disciplinary action would be stricken from her record.

Elliot was just about to discreetly thank her with a soft kiss, when Fin walked in from the pit and said, "Hey! How was lunch?"

Olivia jumped back a full foot and turned her head. "Great!" she said too quickly. "Wonderful. I'm...wow, I'm stuffed."

Fin laughed and shook his head as he sat at his desk. "Good," he said. "You can't crack that asshole on an empty stomach."

Munch, coming into the room, ran a hand down his face. He spotted Elliot and said, "You're on. You get it out of him. He's afraid of you. And Benson, he's still fixated on you. He's bound to give you something."

"We've been gone for an hour, and you still have nothing?" Elliot asked, folding his arms.

Munch threw his hands up. "He's mumbling about 'fixing' women and…"

"Got it," Olivia interjected, heading for the room. Elliot was hot on her heels, and they flew by Cragen and into the cold, metal room. She looked at the man at the table and she shook her head. "Peterson," she spat, smirking at him.

"Benson," the man said, leaning back, a look of fear and lust on his face. "You're still here?"

Olivia nodded. "They let you outta the cage too soon," she said, leaning over a bit. "They weren't done…fixing you."

Peterson's nostrils flared. "I do the fixing," he spat. "By the looks of things, you could use a good repair or two." He narrowed his eyes. "You always remember the one that got away, and trust me, Detective, I have not forgotten you one bit."

Olivia chuckled. "I am pretty unforgettable," she said, sauntering closer to him. She didn't notice Elliot's short gasp, or his shifting in his seat. "Haven't forgotten you either."

"You, uh, you think about me?" Peterson asked, looking up at her, his breath speeding up.

Elliot saw the look in her eyes, the expression on her face, and he, too, began to struggle for air. It couldn't come to him fast enough as he watched every move she made.

"I do," Olivia said. She leaned over from behind him and whispered in his ear, "I think about how you would…fix me."

Peterson's eyes shot to hers and he said, "How I would…"

"Tell me," she said, seduction lacing her words as she bent lower. "Tell me how you fixed those girls. What you would have done to me if…"

"What do you wanna know?" the man asked, his eyes locked on hers.

Olivia leaned just a bit closer and she whispered, "Everything."

"I snuck up on them," he said, swallowing hard. "It was so easy."

Elliot raised an eyebrow and smirked, knowing he was getting a confession and one hell of a show at the same time. He shifted in his seat again, his painful erection making it uncomfortable to sit and impossible to stand, and he ran a hand over his face as he listened to the perp confess, detailing everything to Olivia.

When they had what they needed, he stood fast, closing his jacket, and he said, "Detective Benson, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Olivia, her proud grin in place, turned to Peterson. "I'll be back," she said. "Write it all down for me? I wanna read it later. When I'm alone."

Peterson whimpered and picked up the pen, sliding the notepad over to him quickly.

Olivia chuckled and moved, following Elliot into the pit. "I know, you wanted to yell and threaten, but I knew if he just got…"

His lips shut her up, his kiss cut her words off along with her air supply, taking her completely by surprise.

She gasped for air when he moved, kissing her neck, and she moaned softly. "Can't…here…bad…"

"Shut up," he chuckled, moving his hand to her pants. "You're so fucking sexy when you're in control like that," he mumbled against her skin. "Hot even when you don't know you are," he garbled.

"I knew what I was doing," she said breathlessly, feeling his fingers shoving their way into her panties, stroking her. "God, El, you have to…"

"Can't stop it now," he said, biting at her neck. One hand had busied itself with removing his belt and lowering his pants. "He'll be okay in there for a while."

She moaned, his intrusion making her feel tight and full, and she opened her eyes to see his, dark and wild, staring back at him. "Door," she whispered, digging her nails into his back.

He shook his head. "Locked," he spat. "Five minutes. All I need right now, you got me so damn worked up already." He pressed his lips to hers, his tongue invading her mouth, as one of his hands moved toward her clit, wagging over it vigorously, trying to speed things along.

Her head hit the wall behind her and she gripped the back of his head, holding him to her, and she felt him speed up his thrusts and his strokes.

"God, baby," he moaned, soft and low. "Have to…fast…sorry."

She shook her head and kissed him again, her body tightening too fast and too strong. She whimpered into their kiss and he gave a hard grunt before slamming hard into her and staying there.

His voice wavered as he moaned, long and almost panicking. He ripped his lips away from hers and panted, staying inside of her for a short moment. He dropped his forehead to hers as he pulled out of her, regretting how animalistic he had been.

She ran her hands through his short hair as he fixed his pants, and then hers, and she kissed him softly. "It's okay," she said, smiling at him.

He sighed and shook his head. "It's not," he said, "But it was amazing."

She laughed and gave him a short nod, then ran her fingers through her own hair, still trying to catch her breath.

Just as they were composed and about to go back into the interrogation room, the knob turned. "Thought you said it was locked," Olivia whispered.

"I lied," Elliot shrugged. "I didn't want to…I couldn't stop."

Cragen stepped into the room, his arms folded, and he said, "When you two are done getting Peterson's statement, I need you both in my office."

Elliot wasn't sure why, but he thought he had to say something. "Cap we weren't…"

"Someone's here to see you," Cragen said, stopping him. "Someone needs your help."

"Who?" Olivia asked, folding her arms.

Cragen sighed, turning for the door. "Agent Porter."

**A/N: An undercover job, or is it something else? Maureen talks to the other kids, and they all have different opinions about their father dating. And Kathy…surprises everyone. Review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: A plea, a problem, and a surprise.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Elliot was the first one to walk through Cragen's office door, and he was the first one to jump on Agent Dean Porter. "If you came back here to take her to Albania or some shit, you can forget it!" he yelled, pointing in Dean's face.

"El," Olivia said, shocked as she stood behind him, "Look at him! I don't think this is about me going undercover."

Elliot took a breath and took a step back, and he tilted his head. "You look like shit," he said, taking in the sight of Porter.

Dean nodded. "I don't feel any better than that," he said, running a hand down his face. He handed Elliot a picture. "Valerie Prescott," he said. He flipped another photo over and handed it to him. "Darlene Beaumont." Once more, he flicked a photo at Elliot and said, "And Nicole Meyers."

Olivia looked at the pictures, shaking her head. "Dean, what are you…"

"They're all gone," he said, his face paling. "Raped and killed, nothing left behind. He takes them, and they're found, naked and cold, on the doorsteps of their homes."

Elliot bit his lip. "Shit," he said. "You need our help because he hit Manhattan, is that it?"

"I need your help," Dean said, shaking slightly, "Because this morning, he grabbed his next victim." He handed Elliot a photo.

Olivia gasped. "Oh, God. No."

"Evelyn Porter," Dean said, trying to keep calm. "My sister." He stood up straighter and shook his head, folded his arms, and said, "He's targeting the youngest girl in the families of people who he thinks are his enemies." He tapped one of the pictures. "Alfred Prescott was the man who arrested him in Chicago, booked him on a drunk and disorderly. Neal Beaumont was the U.S Marshall who went after him when he jumped bail. Greg Meyers is the field agent in Ohio who put the pieces together, and now…" he shook his head, fighting tears.

Elliot looked at Olivia, his heart breaking for Dean as much as he hated the man, and he said, "What do you think?"

"I think I'm too involved in this case to be working it," Olivia said, folding her arms. "I know that girl. Dean and I used to..."

Cragen cleared his throat, interrupting her. "I think that decision is mine to make, Benson." He handed her a file and said, "You're not personally connected to Porter and his family. Not anymore."

Dean looked at her, his red and tired eyes meeting hers for the first time. "Olivia," he whispered, "Please? I don't know who else to…I just…I need you." He reached for her hand.

She took a shallow breath when he touched her, and she sent a glance up at Elliot. "All right," she said, nodding, pulling her hand away from him.

Dean clutched her, though, not letting her go, and he gave her a small smile. "Thank you," he whispered.

She nodded at him again, returning his smile, and she pulled hard, taking her hand back.

The next two hours were anything but pleasant. Elliot had an impossible time, watching Porter looming over Olivia, following her around and reading over her shoulder. He swore he watched Dean sniff her, and he was certain the man was grabbing more than just her files.

His eyes narrowed as he saw Dean caressing her hand as she handed him a cup of coffee, and he had it. He stormed over to her from across the room. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

She looked into his eyes, trying to find an explanation, but all she saw was rage. Maybe a little lust, but that was always there nowadays. "Sure," she said, walking with him out into the hall.

He grabbed her hand, looked over his shoulder, and pushed open the closest door. He ushered her inside, slammed and locked the door, and flicked on the light.

"You need my help cleaning something?" she asked snidely, flicking the mop in the bucket next to her.

"What the hell is going on with you and Porter?" he asked, not laughing at her attempt at a joke.

She narrowed her eyes. "What? Nothing! Are you…"

"I'm watching you, Olivia," he said, his nostrils flaring. "The way he's looking at you, touching you, he fucking sniffed you, Liv!"

She folded her arms and smirked. "Are you serious?" she asked with a small chuckle. "Elliot, nothing is…"

"He grabbed your ass!" he yelled. "You didn't stop him. What am I supposed to think?"

"He grabbed…" She stopped, smirked, and shook her head. "Wait, you mean when I tripped over Munch's gargantuan feet and Dean caught me before I smacked my head on the edge of my desk?" She looked at him, wide eyed, and said, "Stop looking for it, and it won't be there. I don't have any feelings for that man, at all, El. And he's not flirting with me. You're…you're jealous over nothing."

"Nothing?" he asked, his voice a harsh whisper as he moved closer to her. "Look at me, Liv. You think this is nothing? I've never been this angry," he told her, sliding his hands up her shirt. "I was never this jealous with Kathy, do you get that?"

She bucked at his touch, his cold hands giving her goosebumps, and she struggled to catch her breath. "El, I didn't…you know nothing is…"

"You drive me crazy," he whispered to her, his thumbs grazing over her nipples through her bra. "I know you would never even look at him twice, not now, not again. But just seeing you with someone who might still have feelings for you…Jesus." He pressed against her, pressing her into the wall, and his hands moved from her breasts to her pants.

"El, we can't…not now…we've got…" she moaned and closed her eyes when she felt his fingers slip over her panties, pressing against her.

He shook his head, his lips brushing against her neck. His breath was hot on her skin as he said, "You really think I care anymore? I want you, baby. I wanna prove that you are mine, no one else's. I wanna show you that you will never need anyone else, ever," he hissed, maneuvering his pants down and pulling her legs around him.

She groaned and rolled her eyes as he sucked on her neck. "You don't have to prove…"

He cut her off with a fiery kiss, his lips punishing, his tongue unforgiving, and his teeth gnashing on her lips and nibbling on her tongue. "To myself," he mumbled into the kiss. "I'm proving it to myself."

She gripped his shoulders as he thrust into her, his growl loud and sounding almost relieved. "God, El," she whispered into his ear, struggling to hold onto him as he moved. "You know," she said. "There's only you, Elliot. No one else."

"Ever," he grunted, moving hard and deep within her, "Promise." His eyes were dark as he looked at her, her head rolling to the side as he took her, roughly and with no warning, knowing it was as uncomfortable as it was amazing. "Promise me," he whispered, slowing a bit.

She cupped his face and her eyes welled with tears at the desperation she saw in his. "I promise," she whispered, and then she kissed him, slowly and easily.

He moved softer then, changing pace and course, and he felt a slight pang of regret as he finally admitted to himself that he had a problem, and the only cure was the same as the cause. Olivia.

* * *

Tired, irritated, and emotionally drained, they walked through the doors of Elliot's house at midnight. He kicked off his shoes and headed straight for the kitchen, grabbing a beer. "You want one?" he yelled to her.

She mumbled and plopped onto the couch, her eyes shutting.

"I took that as a yes," he spat, dropping into the seat beside her as he handed her a bottle. His head fell to her shoulder, he moaned, and closed his eyes. "This sucks."

She hummed an affirmative noise, and she rolled her head toward his a bit. The bottle lay unopened in her hand, her hand was lying limply in her lap, and she didn't move the first time the girl called her.

"Guys!" Kathleen yelled again.

Elliot's eyes snapped open and he popped up. "What? What happened?"

Kathleen laughed and folded her arms, and she sat across from them. "Nothing, I just think you might be more comfortable in your own beds, instead of squishing together on the couch."

"Right," Olivia yawned. She sat up a bit and put the bottle on the coffee table.

Elliot took a long sip of his beer and looked at his daughter. "What are you doing up?"

Kathleen sighed and said, "Waiting for you. I think we need to talk."

"Now?" Elliot asked, wearily dragging his hand down his face.

"The sooner the better," Kathleen said. "We were talking, and, uh, Maureen said something…and we all just kind of wanted to know if…"

"There's nothing going on between me and your father," Olivia said quickly. "Whatever Maureen told you, she…"

"She said you were in love…with each other," Kathleen said, the words coming out forced and uncomfortable. "Is that true?"

Elliot looked at Olivia, pain lingering in his eyes. It was killing him to keep the truth from everyone around them, but he didn't have a choice. Not yet. He looked back at Kathleen and cleared his throat. "Would that, uh, bother you?"

"Me?" Kathleen questioned. "No. Not…not a lot. Dickie would rather you find someone else, Lizzie is still getting used to Liv being here instead of Mom. Maureen's all for it, and I'm…I would rather you work things out with Mom, but if you can't, then I guess I just want to see you with someone who'll make you happy." She shook her head and said, "If that's Liv, then so be it, but I'll be okay if it isn't."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry, so what exactly are you trying to tell me?"

Kathleen sighed. "If there is or isn't anything going on with the two of you, that's fine. We just would like to know, one way or the other, because we're kind of getting used to Liv being here, and we wanna know if we're gonna have to watch her walk away just like Mom did. We're all afraid of that. Well, us girls. Dickie's another story," she explained.

Olivia tilted her head. "I'm here for you guys, no matter what," she said. "But eventually I am gonna have to leave, you know that, don't you? You all know I…"

"Why?" Elliot asked, turning his lips up into an inquisitive pout.

"Why? Because I have an apartment that's been dark and cold for a week, filled with things that…"

Kathleen interrupted. "We know you'd move out," she said, "But that's not…we kind of like…"

"Oh," Olivia sighed, understanding. "Oh, honey, no matter what happens, I will always be here for you guys. I'm your father's partner, and you've all become my family, the only one I've got. You think just because I'm not staying in your guest room anymore, that would change?" She leaned forward and asked, "Was it any different when I wasn't staying here?"

Kathleen shrugged and gave her a small smile. "No," she said. "But with you being so close, and Dad being so vulnerable, we just thought…"

"If anything happens between me and Liv, you guys will know," Elliot said, wanting to end the conversation. "What's going on with Dickie?"

"He's not happy," Kathleen said. "He said it would be weird if you were with Liv, and he wouldn't know how to deal with it. Especially after Mom came by to…"

"Your mother was here?" Elliot asked, sitting up straighter. "When? Why?"

"She dropped off some legal stuff for you," Kathleen said with a shrug. "Then she told us all how we shouldn't give Olivia a hard time because she was only here to help, and she told us to make her boyfriend feel at home if he ever came by." She looked at Olivia and smirked. "Not like we don't really know who you were talking about."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "You do?"

Kathleen got off of the couch and said, "I think Maureen gave you a strong enough warning, but just to cover your bases, before you actually come out and say it, you should talk to Dickie."

Elliot and Olivia watched Kathleen walk up the stairs, and then they looked at each other. "Guess my kids are smarter than I thought," he said, smirking.

"And we're gonna hurt them," Olivia said, biting her lip. "Dickie doesn't want…"

"I'll talk to him," he said, standing. He moved toward the end table and picked up the envelope Kathy had left. He opened it and slid out the stack of papers and he read them through. "Nothing I wasn't expecting," he said. "It's the custody agreement, she gets the kids for…hold on." He squinted and held the form closer to his face.

"What?" she asked, moving toward him.

He handed her the paper and said, "She's naming you as the impartial third party, in case there is any reason she can't take the kids, or something happens." He furrowed his brow. "I told her that I was leaving her because I was in love with you, that I didn't want to hurt her but wanted to be with you. She has to know that something is going on with us."

"Boyfriend," she whispered, closing her eyes. "That's it, El, she thinks I'm seeing someone! When we ran into her in the court…"

"She's assuming you're taken, and that I can't touch you," he interrupted with a chuckle. "She's deliberately making all of this easy because she thinks I'm miserable now since I can't have what I wanted in the first place."

She bit her lip despite the smirk on her face, and she walked backward toward the stairs. "And what exactly is stopping you from taking what you wanted?"

He raised an eyebrow, dropped the forms, and moved toward her slowly. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing at all."

She saw him moving toward her faster and she ran up the steps, being chased by him. Through the door, Dickie heard the laughing, the squealing, and the sheer happiness of his father's voice. He sighed and rolled over, trying to get back to sleep, but knowing his worst fear had been realized, he couldn't.

He had to talk to his father in the morning, or everything that just got built back up would fall apart.

**A/N: What's Dickie's fear? Why? And when Kathy finds out…accidentally…about Elliot and Olivia, her reaction is unexpected. Becky drops in to have a chat, and Elliot finally finds out what it feels like to be interrupted. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: A conversation, an interruption, and a surprise.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

"Hey, kid. Can I talk to you for a second?" Elliot asked his son, who was tying his tie, getting ready for school.

Dickie shrugged. "Go ahead."

Elliot sat on the edge of the boy's bed and sighed. "Since when don't you like Liv?"

"I like her," Dickie said, grabbing his uniform blazer. "That's not the problem."

Elliot tilted his head. "So what…"

"This is gonna change everything," Dickie said, turning to him. "She's here trying to get us all through the divorce, but once we're all okay, and you really start seeing her, you're gonna send us off to Mom."

"What?" Elliot asked, confused. "Where did you get…"

"We've had to hear about how great Liv is for years, Dad," Dickie said as he rolled his eyes and threw his books in his backpack. "How you love spending time with her, how she's gonna be such a great mother, how she'd make someone very happy someday. You know, we all kinda thought there was something going on with you, and I always knew that when it did, you'd…"

Elliot put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Buddy, listen to me," he said, shaking his head. "Liv's always been important to me, but you are my son. You're more…"

"Your son, not hers," Dickie snapped. "She's gonna want a family of her own, Dad. It's bad enough she's stuck here with us now, ya know? When she wants a kid of her own, you're gonna leave us with Mom and start your new family with…"

"Richard Anthony Stabler," Elliot interrupted, "Liv loves you. Why would you ever think she wouldn't want you around? And we aren't even…not really…together, so…what baby are we having?"

Dickie sighed and sat beside his father. "Don't you get it, Dad? This is Liv! If it was anyone else, there would be no chance of you getting married again, we'd still be a family. This is Liv, and this is gonna get serious, and I'm gonna…I just wanna stay together, Dad."

Elliot wrapped his arm around his son. "Dickie, bud, you're right. With Liv, it's gonna be serious, and we're gonna want kids, but we're not gonna kick you guys out! You and your sisters mean more to me than anything. I fought for you, hard, I'm not gonna give you back to your mother because I want a child with Liv. There is enough love between us to go around, and you need to be the big brother I know you're gonna be." He mussed the boy's hair. "You can't do that from the other side of the city."

Dickie looked up at his father. "Really?" he asked softly. "You mean that?"

"With all my heart," Elliot said, nodding. "But like I said, you're putting an awful lot of pressure on me and Liv. We're not really even dating and you've got us married with kids."

Dickie laughed. "I never said you were married," he said, nudging his father.

Elliot scoffed and smirked. "Dickie!"

"It happens, Dad," the teen shrugged. He exhaled a bit and said, "Thank you, Dad. Really. I…I needed to hear that."

"I'm just upset that you thought that would ever happen in the…"

"Dad," Dickie interrupted, looking at his father. "It's Liv. You'd do anything for her."

Elliot gripped the boy's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "We would both do anything for you." He made sure Dickie understood, then sent him off to school with his sisters. He laughed to himself, thinking about how his kids knew how serious he was about Olivia, when he didn't even know himself.

* * *

It was an awfully trying day at the station for them, their perp was holding out on them and they had to play games to get the location of the victim. They were putting puzzle pieces together, rushing around, ignoring each other for the sake of the evidence and the case.

Olivia had just picked up the phone to field another phone call from another news network when Kathy walked in. Olivia looked at her, freezing for a moment, and she didn't stop talking to the reporter as she pointed across the room to Elliot.

Kathy smiled at her and nodded, then walked over to him. "Elliot?"

He turned, shouting an order at a rookie who then ran out of the room, and he looked at her. "We're really kind of busy here, Kathy, is this important?"

The blonde smirked. "You should check your cell phone."

"Did you try to call?" he asked, taking the device out of his pocket. He raised an eyebrow. "It's…how am I on the phone with you?"

Kathy chuckled, holding up her own phone. "Two hours and three minutes," she said, wiggling her still connected phone at him. "You must have sat on it, or stepped on it."

"You came all the way down here to tell me I butt-dialed you? Why didn't you just hang up?" he asked, annoyed, ending the call himself.

Kathy narrowed her eyes. "I picked up the phone when you called," she said. "I heard you. Who were you with, Elliot?"

His eyes narrowed. "Heard me with…" he paused, his eyes widened. "Oh, shit, you heard…oh, God, Kathy, I…"

"Just tell me who it was," Kathy demanded, folding her arms. "Was it her?"

He thought for a moment. "Wait, two hours on the…you actually listened to us? You answered, heard what was obviously not intended for you to hear, and you stayed on the damned phone?"

Kathy bit her lip. "You were making these…noises. Ones that, in our years of marriage, I have never heard you make. I wanted to…it sounded so…"

"Wow," he scoffed. "You are unbelievable! Just…go home, Kathy. Please. We're, clearly, very busy here and instead of working on this case I am having this asinine conversation with you."

"Just tell me," Kathy pleaded, looking at him. "Was it Olivia? If you left me for her, and you're not even…was it her?"

He sighed, running a hand down his face. "That's really none of your business."

"Where the hell were you, by the way?" Kathy asked.

"The car," he mumbled.

Kathy swallowed hard and nodded, then she looked around at the bustling squad room. "I know it was her. You said her name. A lot." She looked away from him, focusing somewhere on the wall, and she said, "More than you ever have with me. I was just…I wanted you to tell me, Elliot."

Elliot heaved another heavy sigh. "Well, how exactly did you want me to do that? Over coffee? In a friendly email? It's not exactly something I wanted to…"

"Was she worth it?" Kathy asked, narrowing her eyes as they shot toward him again. "Was she worth all of this?"

"Is," Elliot said, nodding once. He bit his lip and said, "She is."

Kathy pressed her lips together. "Well, uh, don't…just be careful with your phone from now on." She gave him a hard look. "This is really over then, isn't it?"

He bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah."

"Stabler!" Cragen yelled. "You and your partner need to get to Columbus Circle. Now!"

Elliot didn't even look back at Kathy as he ran out with Olivia, but she watched them leave, every step synchronized, and she knew without a doubt that he was really gone.

* * *

Olivia moaned as he bit her neck, pushing her through the bunkroom doors and slamming it behind them. "El, baby, we're at work," she mumbled.

"On a break," he garbled, latched onto her neck. "We don't have a lot of time, and we have to be quiet."

"Really?" Olivia asked, trying to get out of her clothes as he pawed at her. "I didn't know that," she breathed, pulling his shirt open and running her hands down his chest.

"Bed," he said, shoving her pants over her hips. "Get on the bed."

She chuckled, plopping onto the nearest bunk bed, watching him pull her pants completely off of her. She moaned, though, when he fell onto her and stroked her over her panties, teasing her. "What brought this…"

"I don't have a fucking reason anymore," he said, interrupting her, gripping her underwear and tugging.

She moaned and laughed as he ripped them away, cupping his face. "Animal," she teased, peering deeply into his eyes.

He smirked. "You're my reason," he said, nipping at her lips as his fingers slid through her folds. "The way you move, talk, breathe," he listed, kissing her more firmly.

She moaned, dropping her head back as he moved to her neck again. "So glad you talked to Dickie," she said, whimpering.

"Me, too, baby," he murmured. He stopped toying with her for a bit to get his own pants off, then crawled over her with a hungry look in his eyes. "Nothing stopping us now."

She shook her head. "Nothing except work," she whispered, pulling him down to her as he thrust into her slowly.

"Not even work," he whispered back. "No one has to know. Not really." He pulled out of her, hit into her again, keeping his eyes wide open and on hers. "Not unless you want them to know."

She shook her head, pressing her lips to his. "Not yet," she said with a soft moan. "We can't tell them, El, Cragen will…"

She was interrupted when the door flew open and a woman yelped.

"Jesus Christ!" Elliot shouted, pulling out of Olivia and reaching for blankets from another bed to cover them. "Shut the damned door!"

The door closed.

"I meant with you on the other side, Rebecca!" Elliot yelled, breathing hard, running a hand over his head.

The doctor cleared her throat, shaking a bit. "Well, I…well, now you know how I felt when you…"

"Yeah, right, we're even," Elliot snapped. "What the hell are you doing up here?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and reached, carefully, to get her bra. "Honestly, now really wasn't a good time."

Rebecca nodded. "I see that. I was going to wait downstairs, but Captain Cragen sent me up here, it's rather important."

Elliot sighed, then kept the sheet covering most of his body as he finagled his way into his pants, knowing he'd have to deal with the unresolved tension in his body now. "What?" he asked, harsh.

Rebecca stepped forward and handed him a file. "I talked to Doctor Huang," she said. "The pills he gave you…might not be working."

"How do vitamins not work?" Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow.

Elliot bit his lip. "They weren't your normal vitamins." He looked at Rebecca and asked, "So what, now, I need something stronger? Weaker?"

"You need to stop taking them," the doctor said. "Your blood work is beyond…you are one healthy man, Elliot. George went through files from your last three annual physicals, and it seems the, uh, hormone issue is, actually, totally normal for you. Testosterone isn't the problem."

"Then what is?" he asked, pulling on his shirt and standing up, concerned.

Rebecca sighed. "Neither one of us knows, really. You haven't spoken enough about it, we just know that it has something to do with Olivia, through your journals." She looked at him and folded her arms. "It's either a biological, psychological, or subsitutional reason."

"Substitutional?" Olivia asked, smirking, pulling her pants up. "You're making up words now?"

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "It means that something about sex, specifically with you, has taken the place of something he has been missing, and now he's unable to let go, even the slightest bit, afraid to feel the empty space again."

Elliot narrowed his eyes and looked at Olivia, smirking a bit as he tied his tie. "Gee, Liv, you think having sex with you somehow filled some kind of void in my life?"

She laughed and walked over to him, kissing him. "Same one you've filled in mine."

He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her for a moment, silently thanking her. "So Doc," he said, looking up. "What do I do?"

"Depends on what's causing it," Rebecca said. "If it's biological, there are pills. If it's psychological, therapy. If it's a substitute for…well, nothing but ride it out until you're sure she's not going anywhere."

He took a breath and asked, "So how do we find out?"

Rebecca folded her arms again. "I'll see you in my office on Monday morning," she said as she turned to leave. "Both of you."

**A/N: What's causing it? Is there a cure? And will Kathy use her new information against Elliot somehow? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: A therapy session and a moment alone.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia sat on the couch in Rebecca's office, tapping her fingers and shaking her knee. Elliot reached over and squeezed her thigh, getting her to stop, and he caught her eyes. "Relax," he whispered. "There's nothing wrong with me."

She eyes him for a moment. "Everything you just said to her, you never..."

"I didn't think you needed to know, honey," he interrupted with a sigh. "I don't like to talk about my parents, my childhood, or the hell I went through, ya know? And part of me just thought you had enough to deal with on your own, you wouldn't want to..."

"You're my best friend," she said, cutting him off. "Now you're...well, more than that, but you had to know that I wanted you to tell me everything. You could have come to me if you felt..."

"Look, I didn't, I'm sorry, I can't do anything about it now, can I?" he said with a gruff tone. "Let's just see what she says. See what kind of problem I really have here."

Her eyes softened, she sighed, and she moved her hand to his, cupping it and linking their fingers. She smiled a bit when he gave her hand a squeeze, and they kissed softly, waiting for Rebecca to come back into the room.

When the door opened, they stopped kissing, but their heads rested together gently. "So, Doc, what's the problem?" Elliot asked, his eyes closing as he felt Olivia's nervous breath on his lips.

Rebecca cleared her throat and sat down. "Well, you are definitely psychologically dependent on Olivia, Elliot. She's the only person, according to you, who has never judged you or faulted you, who is perfectly happy with who you are and has never asked you to change. You've said it yourself, she is the only person who fully understands you, and..."

"I know what I said," Elliot said with a bit of annoyance. "What do you suggest I do about it?"

Rebecca grinned. "The only thing I can tell you to do in cases like this is marry her," she chuckled. "Elliot, the psychological dependence isn't the huge problem. It's really kind of...sweet...as long as the two of you are together. If you ever break up, or split apart at work, your life is going to crumble. It won't be easy, and it might even be physically pain..."

"It would be," Elliot said, nodding, remembering something. "She went away fro a week once. Some undercover thing with Fin. I had these terrible headaches, I couldn't breathe, I was sick to my stomach. When she came back...I saw her in her chair, at her desk, and my whole world just got...better."

Olivia tilted her head. "You never told me that either," she said, smiling a bit at him.

"What was I supposed to say? 'I was a wreck without you, please never leave me again, I love you more than I love my own wife and your leaving made me realize it?"

"Something like that," Olivia said with a small nod.

Elliot shrugged. "Well, now you know all of that anyway, so..."

She kissed him, silencing him.

Rebecca cleared her throat again. "The physical addiction, Elliot, is stemming from the need to keep her. The fear that you will lose her and never feel this way again. She is giving you something, maybe a few things, you haven't had in years, if ever, and your body is physically craving the reassurance that it's all here and not going anywhere. As I've said before, the only thing that will help those fears and feelings go away is the firm belief that she won't leave you."

"That could take a while," Elliot said, slumping in his chair. "I wake up every day and have to consciously remind myself that she's with me, that we've been...so intimate, and that she...she loves me."

Olivia looked at him, shocked, He was always so confident, so arrogant, so sure of himself and everything around him. "I'm not going to..."

"You say it, and you mean it," he interrupted, "But I've been waiting for you...for this...for so fucking long, Liv, that it's really gonna take a while...until this is real and full and secure...for me to let go of the fear I have that one day this is all gonna end."

Rebecca sighed and handed several notebooks back to Elliot. "I'm done with these," she said, "But I'm not done with you. I'd like you in here a few times a month. Maybe once a week. We need to get you over this..."

"Why?" Elliot asked, shrugging. "As long as it's with her, and I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm not sleeping around or doing anything violent or stupid, why is this a problem?"

"You don't see the constant, physically painful craving to fuck her as problem?" Rebecca asked, annoyed now. "You don't think having to find places to screw at work, the car, the shower, the bathroom stalls, the empty offices...and let's not even talk about where you do it at home, or elsewhere...several times a day, until you honestly cannot move...you don't think it's a problem?"

Elliot grinned. "I think it's fucking amazing, actually. I think men my age are jealous, pissed off because I can do something they can't..."

"Do you want kids?" Rebecca interrupted.

Elliot furrowed his brow. "I have kids."

"I meant with Olivia," Rebecca said. "If you do, then you're going to have to calm down, Elliot. The more often you do it, per day, the lower your potential to..."

"We're not trying right now," Olivia said, shrugging. "By the time we're ready for kids, if we ever get to that point, he'll be very sure that I'm not going anywhere and this addiction, whatever you wanna call it, will go away."

"It won't," Rebecca said, sighing. "You know how addictions work. You're both getting so used to this frantic, anytime-anywhere-spontaneous-sex that the longer you partake in it all, the harder it will be to put yourselves on a normal, healthy schedule."

Elliot ran a hand down his face. "Well, I came to you to find out why I was doing this, and you told me, so your job is done. I don't need therapy, and I don't need you telling me to cut down on the amount of sex I have with my girlfriend."

Rebecca tried to speak. "Elliot, please, you have to..."

"We've got to get to work," he spat, getting off of the couch. He pulled Olivia up with him, and they left the office, leaving Rebecca both stunned, worried, and a little proud. He stood up for what he and Olivia had, confirming that he was starting to believe it was real, and not going anywhere.

* * *

"Can you believe her?" Elliot hissed as they walked through the hallways of the building. "Telling me that the reason..."

"She's right," Olivia said, looking at him as they rushed toward the doors. "I know she is...because I'm afraid of the same thing."

He stopped walking, turned to look at her, and he narrowed his eyes. "How could you ever think that I..."

"Sam way you do," she interrupted. She took his hand and looked up at him. "El, this didn't exactly happen slowly, and we're not even...this isn't dating, this isn't a relationship, it's a lot of sex and work, and hiding this from your kids and..."

"Hey," he said softly, running a hand through her hair. "That's not all that...tomorrow night. Dinner. Just you and me." He smiled and cupped her face with his hand. "We go on a date, treat this like a real relationship."

She smiled at him. "It sounds amazing, but...what are the odds of that actually happening? Work and the kids, and the fact that people shouldn't really see us..."

He kissed her to shut her up, and then he pulled her into the elevator. He hit the emergency stop button, then turned to look at her. "So we go somewhere out of the way, we tell Cragen we ate some bad chicken and go home early, we need to do this, baby."

She saw the seriousness in his face, in his eyes, and she leaned toward him slowly, kissing him.

He moaned a bit into her mouth as his hands ran up her body to wind in her hair, holding her face to his. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

She mumbled a low response and her hands raked down his back, over his chest, resting on his hips. She chuckled when he gave a light buck, into hers, and pulled her closer.

He slipped one hand away from her head down to her thigh, and he pulled her leg up around his waist, then caressed her thigh and her ass. He squeezed, pressing her closer as he rolled his body in hers, making his intentions clear.

She moaned, feeling him, growing more aroused the more he touched her. She brought her hands to his neck, holding him, and he deepened their kiss as he gripped the waistband of her pants.

"Please," he whispered. "God, baby, please?"

She moaned again, slightly worried that he was begging now, and she shifted her weight to help him undo the clasp and zipper on her pants. She slid her hands further down, to his belt, mimicking his actions.

"I love you," he said again, shedding her of her clothes. "God, baby, I love you so much." He peppered her neck with soft kisses, shoving down her underwear with her pants. He continued kissing along her jaw line as he ran his fingers up and down her slit, finding her just as worked up as he was, and he moaned. "Baby," he whispered, "Please, I..."

She kissed his lips, working his pants down, and she returned her leg to around his body, resting on his hip. She moaned again when she felt him grab her leg, holding her in place, and she let out a long groan when he shifted and pushed into her, slowly and gently.

His voice shook as he moaned, and he knew that a tear was rolling down his cheek, because part of him regretted that he had to do this, that he to take her like this so often, that he couldn't control it. He blinked hard and kissed her again, moving his hips slowly, deeply, relishing in the moment and the action and the intimacy.

She moaned, returning his kisses and his thrusts. "I love you," she whispered, moving her head to speak into his ear. "I love you, El. God, you make me feel so damned good. So, so good."

He smiled then, nodding once before kissing her neck and alternating between biting and sucking, loving the way the noises she made changed with his actions. "I love you, baby," he replied, moving a bit deeper, holding her leg firmly to keep her from backing away. He needed to feel as much of her on him as possible. He needed for her to feel as much of him as she possibly could. He needed it all.

She gripped him, digging the pads of her fingers into his flesh as she felt him thrusting more, hitting deeper, and tearing her apart in so many ways. "El," she breathed. "God, El, I can't..."

"Then don't," he said, shaking his head. "Don't wait for me," he whispered, moving harder now, slowing down, keeping this more than just a romp in an elevator. He felt her clenching, heard her moaning faster and higher, and he nipped at her neck when she came, shaking against him.

He chuckled, satisfied that she'd enjoyed herself, that she knew now that it wasn't just about his needs. He eased up and let her calm down, but he was still pumping slowly waiting for his own torturously prolonged release.

She, still panting, kissed his neck and his chin. She murmured things to him, words of love and desire, and she moved over him, meeting his thrusts again. She clenched around him fast the second time, it took her by surprise, and she heard him grunt in response to the feelings she was creating for him.

"Shit, baby," he growled, his head dropping to her shoulder as he held her tightly. He slammed into her hard and deep a few times before finally exploding, shooting off into her.

She dropped her forehead to his as he brushed her now damp hair off of her face and kissed her. "I love you," she whispered.

Breathing heavily, he whispered back, "I love you."

They redressed and readjusted in silence, and Elliot hit the button, sending the elevator back to its destined floor. He checked his watch as they walked out of the building. "Shit," he hissed.

They were late for work.

**A/N: Kathy drops by at home, Cragen talks to Elliot, and Fin makes a big mistake. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: A surprise, an ultimatum, and a mistake. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Tstabler © own this story.**

Elliot stormed into the bullpen, Olivia about a foot behind him, and he slammed into his seat. "Sorry," he spat loudly. "My fault. It's totally my fault, I was at this doctor thing, and..."

"Stabler," Cragen said, not wanting to hear it, "You're late, end of story. You, in my office. Benson, you and Fin head down to Mercy, meet up with Munch. Case is huge, no talking to the mass of reporters waiting down there, got it?"

Elliot's eyes widened. "Cap, I was just late by a few minutes, you can't..."

"Elliot, don't argue with me, just go in there and wait!" Cragen yelled. "You two," he said, pointing to Olivia and Fin, "Go."

Elliot stood up, angry now. "The last time she went anywhere with Fin, she got hurt!"

"She's been hurt by being with you, too, Stabler," Cragen said, a snide look on his face. "Move," he commanded.

Olivia and Elliot shared a look, then she left with Fin, leaving Elliot to wander into Cragen's office. He sat on the chair in front of the desk with a sigh and a small groan as he closed his eyes. "What?" he asked, discouraged.

Cragen folded his arms. "Where were you?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "You kept me from a high-profile case with my...partner...just so you could ask me why I was late?" he asked, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

"No, I kept you out if it because if your mental health isn't up to snuff, you can't be on-duty!" Cragen yelled.

"Oh, what the...who the hell have you been talking to?" Elliot asked, fury rising.

"Lawyers, Elliot. Divorce lawyers, and someone working out a custody agreement for your kids! You've been going to therapy for, quote, 'work-related' issues. I think if your job is giving you..."

"I can't believe..." Elliot shook his head. "Shit, Cap, I was seeing Doctor Bond for a while! It had nothing to do with work, but I couldn't tell the lawyers that I..."

"Wait, back up," Cragen interrupted. "You lied to these people?"

"No, not legally, no. The issues were...are...were work-related, but nothing involving my actual job."

Cragen squinted, confused. "You had to see a reproductive and sexual health specialist...for work related issues that aren't about work." He bit his lip and said, "Explain this to me?"

Elliot sighed again, slumping in the chair. "It wasn't about my job, Cap, it was all about my partner," he finally admitted. "I have this...some call it unhealthy...addiction to her, and at first I was going to therapy to try and stop it, but I..."

"So it's not about the nature of the job, but who you had to work with," Cragen muttered, nodding. "Work-related. Okay. I'll call the lawyer back and tell him I approved the whole damned thing and you're fine now, perfectly competent and able to..."

"Cap, I just told you I am physically and emotionally obsessed with Olivia," he said, wondering where the anger, disappointment, and ultimate firing was.

Cragen picked up the phone and said, "I didn't need to know that much, and I'm going to forget you said it," he said. Then he looked up at Elliot, dropping the phone back onto the cradle. "On one condition."

Elliot cleared his throat, a lump of fear unable to be swallowed, and he nodded, only once, hoping it was an ultimatum he could live with.

* * *

Olivia and Fin got back to the station a few hours later, looking exhausted and slightly nervous. Elliot noticed, and walked over to Olivia's desk. "What's that look on your face supposed to mean?" he asked, resisting every urge to kiss her.

She looked at him and said, "Ashley Townsend."

"The girl from that bird movie?" he asked, "She just won an Oscar."

"And she was just raped and beaten to within an inch of her life," she said, shaking her head. "Media was all over it. It was a circus down there."

Elliot nodded. "Would be," he shrugged. "But that doesn't explain the look in your eyes right now. What happened?"

"Nothing," she said too quickly, moving to head for the coffee pot.

"Liv," he said, something in his voice making her stop. "What happened?"

She turned, slowly, and said, "Fin...just forget about it. I'm fine, we're fine." She lowered her voice and said, "You're taking me out for a nice, romantic dinner tonight. Forget the games, forget hiding it, just you and me after work. That cafe in The Village, the one we went to when..."

"I know what one," he said with a smile. "Uh, Liv, Cragen knows."

"What?" she asked, her chipper mood and slight smile fading. "How much does he know?"

Elliot took the carafe out of her hand and poured her coffee for her. "He knows why I was in therapy, he knows that what he saw upstairs that night wasn't really just us fighting, and now he knows that...that it's happening, and that it's...serious."

Olivia sipped the coffee he handed her and scoffed. "Great."

"No, it's...it's okay...he told me he'd forget he knew anything about it, if...if I did something for him."

She smirked. "You have to kill someone for him? I'll help you hide the body," she joked.

"No," he said with a laugh. "I just had to make a promise to him, one that is gonna be pretty easy to keep, I hope. I just...you wanna go to dinner tonight?"

She chuckled and sipped her coffee. "Nice, just change the subject." She looked at him and it her lip. "Yeah, I do. I think we have to, ya know? It's been a while, and if we don't start making things a little more clear to other people, then..."

Elliot's head snapped around to Fin. "What did he do?"

Olivia was stunned. "How did you come to...I never even told you that..."

He looked back at her and folded his arms. "You said his name before, when I asked you what happened, and you all of a sudden wanna come out of the, forgive me for saying it, closet. You wanted to hide this for as long as possible last night." He moved closer to her. "What did he do?"

"He just...he asked me if I was seeing anyone, if there was anything going on with you, and when I denied everything, he...asked me to dinner," she said as she shrugged and sipped her coffee again. "Nothing horrible, just...uncomfortable."

"Oh, he doesn't know how big of a mistake he just made," he said bitterly. "You are mine," he said, looking into her eyes.

"I know that," she said, eyeing him strangely. "It isn't me you have to convince," she shrugged.

He cleared his throat as he felt his left eye twitch, the possessiveness and the fear overwhelming him. "Where do you need to go now?" he asked.

"I was supposed to head to the movie set, where the girl was filming when she was attacked, talk to people," she said. "I'm supposed to take Fin."

"Fat chance," he spat, grabbing her hand. He yelled to Cragen, snarled at Fin, and pulled her out of the door. He was firm and fast in his guidance, leading her down the stairs and out of the building.

He ushered her into the car, almost as roughly as he would a perp, and he slammed her door shut before running around and getting behind the wheel. He turned the key, peeled out of the lot, and pushed the car as fast as it would go.

"El," Olivia said, struggling to clasp her seatbelt. "Elliot, come on, slow down. You...you jut passed up the..."

"I know where I'm going," he said, serious, not taking his eyes off the road as he weaved in out of the lanes and between cars.

She raised an eyebrow as he turned left, heading toward her apartment, which she hadn't set foot into in weeks. "You're taking me home?"

"It's closer than the house," he spat, coming to a screeching halt in front of the building. He parked, making the car jerk, and got out of the car with a grunt. He walked to her side, opened the door, and pulled her out of her seat fast.

"What the hell is going on with you, right now?" she asked, a little irritated and a little turned on.

He pushed his way into the building and tugged her up the stairs. "Something I gotta do," he said, leading the way toward an apartment she was abandoning to stay with him and his kids.

She watched as he opened her door, and she gasped when he pushed her into the cold room. "What the hell is..."

"You," he said, ripping off his jacket and giving her a shove toward the couch, "Are mine."

She nodded, trying to breathe as he peeled the rest of his clothes away from his body. She gasped again as he moved his hands to her body, undressing her, and he slammed his lips over hers.

He was pissed, so incredibly angry at Fin for making a move, though he knew it was pointless. No one knew they were together, no one. Fin didn't really do anything wrong, and Elliot knew it, but he couldn't control his reaction.

Olivia, pinned beneath him, struggled for air under his assaulting kiss and she moved and shifted to accommodate his body, which was working into hers.

He groaned into her mouth as he pushed into her, one move, rough and fast, and he swallowed her half-moan-half-yelp. He grunted as he moved, working her over as hard as he could, getting deep, moving somewhere between way too slow and not slow enough.

She grabbed him, gripped him with her fingertips, demanded more as well as she could in her position. She wrapped her legs up and around his body, and she moaned.

"Mine," he said as he kissed her. "Yeah?"

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes closed and her head tilted back.

He watched as her bottom lip was pulled into her mouth, scraped with her teeth, and dismissed. He heard the luscious moan escape, from deep in her throat, and he moved faster. "Tell me," he demanded.

"Yours," she panted, her back arching. "God, El, just yours. You know that, damn it, I shouldn't..."

He cute her off with another scorching kiss again as he moved with yet more power, letting out his anger at Fin, and the lawyers, and Kathy, and Becky, and anyone else who had tried to make what he had with her a problem.

"El," she whimpered, tightening and quivering beneath him. "El, please, you have to...oh, my God," she moaned, shifting as her back arched and her body froze, unable to move anymore.

It was violent, almost painful, as it ripped through her. She let out a loud cry of his name and a few words in a language that sure as hell wasn't English.

That reaction was Elliot's undoing and he slammed hard into her. "God, baby," he grunted. "Oh, God," he spat as he let go, cumming furiously inside of her.

She felt him drop to her, almost collapsing, and he kissed her chest and neck where he landed. Her limp hand flopped onto the back of his head, she stroked his hair, and she said, "Holy shit."

He chuckled, kissing her neck again. "Mine," he whispered softly, lifting his own hand up to caress her cheek. "All mine, and I will never understand how, or why."

"You don't have to understand," she whispered, still trying to regulate her breathing. "You just have to be mine right back."

"I am, baby," he promised her, "I am. All yours."

She smiled, and she kissed, him, and she heard both of their phones ringing, bringing them out of their stolen moment and into the reality around them. She sighed as he moved out of and off of her, and they scrambled to grab their phones.

A simultaneous spitting out of nothing but their last names brought on the two conversations, and the drama the night would bring.

Hanging up, she looked at him. "Munch is down at the set waiting, says he found something."

Elliot held up his phone. "Someone's waiting at our house, too," he said, shaking his head.

"Our house?" she questioned.

He smirked. "Yeah, honey. Part pf the promise I made to Cragen. I want you to stay with me and the kids, for good. Think of what just happened here as kind of saying goodbye," he laughed.

She chuckled as she dressed. "So, who's waiting for you at home?"

He sighed as he pulled on his pants. "Kathy."

**A/N: What does Kathy want? Their sweet dinner and what else does the promise to Cragen entail? Elliot talks to Fin, and a report from Doctor Bond. Next. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Someone is attempting to put some pieces together. Pieces of a broken marriage, and pieces of an unfinished puzzle.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Elliot and Olivia breezed under the crime scene tape, nodding to the uniformed officers who were holding it for them. "What's up, Munch?" Elliot asked, pulling down his tie.

Olivia smirked. He was thinking about her, and sex. She knew when he tugged on his tie or played with his belt. It was his "tell."

Munch cleared his throat and flipped open a notebook. "One of the key grips remembers seeing the director hanging out on the lot after the final scene was filmed," he said.

"So…that's his job," Elliot said, raising an eyebrow. "The director…"

"By 'on-the-lot' I meant right here, near the girl's trailer," Munch interrupted, raising an eyebrow of his own. "That's why it's taped off. CSU is in there now, and they found some pretty nasty things suggesting she was raped in her trailer."

Olivia shook her head. "The director? You talk to him?"

Munch nodded, then pointed. The director was sitting on the back-end of a truck, talking unhappily to a cop. "I got it covered here, for now," Munch said, putting his notebook back in his pocket. "Cragen just wants me to keep you posted. You might wanna go down to Mercy. I got a call about five minutes ago. She's awake."

Olivia nodded to him, smiling a bit, and turned to leave. Elliot followed her, mumbling his annoyance about being called to a scene when they weren't really needed. "Could have been doing other things," he spat, opening the driver's side door of the car.

Olivia chuckled and said, "Well, now we can do other things. We can to go the hospital and talk to the vic, we can go to the station and find a deeper connection between the vic and the director, and we can dump the LUDs on their phones so…"

"Okay," Elliot chuckled. "Not really what I meant," he said, driving toward the hospital. He smoothed out his tie with one hand, keeping the wheel steady with the other, and for the first time he realized the nature of his thoughts. He smirked. It was wrong, and it wasn't the right time, but he couldn't help but enjoy it.

* * *

After their day at work came to unsatisfying end, Elliot made good on his promise to take Olivia out for a nice dinner, though he didn't really feel much like going. He was starting to get a monster of a headache, and he knew why, but he didn't want to break his promise.

"We didn't have to come here," Olivia whispered across the table. "You're tired, you clearly don't want to…"

"Liv," he interrupted, handing her a menu, "I want to be here with you, more than anything." He sighed and shook his head. "This case has just really gotten to me, that's all."

She tilted her head and took his hand. "Why?"

He looked up at her, gave her hand a squeeze, and said, "Because it's taking too damned long, and I'm irritated, and frustrated, and we haven't had the chance to…"

"So the roof wasn't enough for you?" she interrupted with a chuckle.

"Oh, honey," he said with a smirk, sipping his water, "It's never enough. Don't you know that by now?"

She smiled at him and sipped her own water, then heard something buzzing. "Your phone has been doing that for hours. Maybe you should…"

"It's a voicemail," he said, his smile gone as he gulped more water. "From Rebecca," he added, looking at her pointedly.

"Oh," she said, biting her lip. "What did she say?"

He shrugged, signaling to the waiter with his free hand. "Didn't listen to it," he said.

"You don't wanna be told this is a problem," she said, nodding once. "Is that it? You don't want to hear what those tests have…"

He sighed and ran a hand down his face, letting go of her hand. "It's not a problem," he said, agitated. "It hasn't been a problem. I think we're doing okay with it. We find the time, we find the place, we're good. Do you think this is a problem?"

She was silent for a moment, then sipped her water. "El," she said quietly, "You brought me up to the roof in the middle of a high-profile investigation. That might be…"

"But is it a problem?" he asked again. "Did it affect how we did the job once we came back? Does it affect how I treat you, or how I feel about you?"

She shook her head and looked into his eyes. "Of course not."

"Then it isn't a problem," he said, turning toward the waiter. "Two of the steak and lobster entrees, light on the sauce, and could bring a bottle of Pinot Noir, please?"

"Wine? Lobster?" Olivia questioned as the waiter walked away. "Have you lost your mind?"

He laughed and he caught a glimpse of someone familiar sitting across the restaurant. He waved and turned back to Olivia. "We're celebrating," he said. "You and me, baby, are finally out, together, and I don't care who knows it." He sighed happily and said, "Besides, I promised someone that I would treat you like a princess, the way you deserve to be treated, so one night absolute splurging is called for, right?"

She smirked and sipped her water, then she sent a glance over to the table Elliot had waved to earlier. "You knew he was gonna be here, didn't you?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "But it does kind of make tonight even better, huh? Rubbing his nose it just a bit?"

She laughed and said, "You really do hate him, don't you?"

"Honey," he said, smiling at her, taking her hand again. "I don't know a single person in the department who likes Ed Tucker." He kissed her knuckles, then turned his head, looking back at Ed and his wife. He grinned, knowing that he was finally showing off his woman, and it was Olivia, and there was nothing anyone, not even Ed Tucker,-* could do about it.

* * *

"Where the hell have the two of you been?" Kathy barked, watching Elliot and Olivia walk through the front door. "The kids are already asleep! Do you know how long I've been here?"

"Don't yell," Elliot said, his eyes closed. "I don't care what else you do, but for the love of God, don't yell."

Kathy's eyes softened and she sent a worried look to Olivia, who was rummaging through a drawer on the side table.

Olivia, lifting a bottle of pills out of the table and shaking two into her hand, shook her head. "Here," she said softly to Elliot. She handed him the half-empty bottle of water in her other hand, and rubbed his back as he took the pills. "Migraine," she whispered, looking at Kathy.

"Oh," Kathy said, narrowing her eyes slightly. "I didn't think he…"

"Not from food," Elliot said hoarsely. "It was triggered by….God, tension." He kissed Olivia's forehead and moved, slowly and clearly in pain, to the couch. "What do you want, Kathy?" he asked, sitting, closing his eyes, and groaning.

Kathy bit her bottom lip and said, "Maybe this isn't a good…"

"You came all the way out here," Elliot interrupted, annoyed. "You have to want something important, so just fucking say it so I can go to bed?"

Kathy looked at Olivia, who was busying herself by rubbing Elliot's temples, which earned soft moans from the man. "I just…my lawyer called. You really are in therapy? It wasn't just an excuse to explain where…"

"Jesus, Kathy," Elliot spat. "Yes. I've been seeing a therapist, and no, I'm not telling you why. Just know that it's not a problem anymore. Not to me."

"All right," Kathy said, sitting up a little straighter, feeling as though she was being scolded by an angry father. "My second question…we don't have to do this, ya know?"

Elliot grabbed Olivia's wrists, stopping her motions, and he popped his head up. "Do what?"

"You and her…you've slept with her, right? So it's done, it's over, she's out of your system. You didn't want to hurt me by cheating on me, and you didn't, so you can…"

"I still want the divorce, Kathy," Elliot said, squinting. Olivia turned out the lamp beside the couch, making it easier for him. "Did you honestly think coming here would…"

"No," Kathy sighed. "No, I didn't, I just had to try, ya know? I don't know how long this has been going on, Elliot, but just…tell me whether or not you're happy."

Elliot sat up straighter, heaving a deep sigh. He took Olivia's hand and looked her in the eyes before turning back to Kathy. "I am," he said. "I'm not saying I wasn't happy with you, I was. But this…this a new level of…Kathy, you and me, we rushed into things, and we got stuck, and it was never what it should have been."

Kathy gave him a small smile. "That's why I came back," she said. "This is all I know, Elliot. I only know you, and our kids, and how to be your wife. What am I supposed to do now? Once my lawyer signs on the dotted line and hands things off to a judge, it'll really be over, and I'll see the kids every other week, and you won't be coming home in the middle of the night, and…"

"Move on," Elliot said, cutting her off. "Honestly, Kathy, nothing happened with Liv and me until I told you I wanted a divorce. Nothing ever happened while we were still completely married, together." He bit his lip and rubbed his forehead. "But the second it did happen, I knew…I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. It would just grow, and get bigger, and hotter, and that is what a real, deep connection should feel like."

Kathy laughed. "So what were we, then?"

"We were comfortable," Elliot answered honestly. "We were very comfortable, Kathy. Too comfortable."

"I like comfortable," Kathy whispered, offering a smile.

"Well, I like emotional," Elliot said, shaking his head. "That's one thing we never had, Kathy. You and me, there were never any passionate moments, never any knock-down-drag-out fights, we just…existed together…and we argued about everything from how to raise the kids to my work schedule. It wasn't fair."

Kathy sighed, then she caught a glimpse, in the very dim light, of Elliot raising Olivia's hand to his lips. She watched them pucker, she watched how tenderly he kissed each knuckle, and she watched the last vestiges of her marriage fall to the ground. "You really are happy, aren't you?"

"Yes," Elliot said, his pained expression meeting Kathy's eyes. "I want you to be happy, too, ya know. I want you to find someone who makes you feel alive, who gives you stability, because we both know I didn't do either of those things for you."

"Right," Kathy said with a chuckle. She stood up and grabbed her purse. "Oh, the entire reason I came by," she said, pulling a packet out of her bag. "Here."

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said…"

"I lied," Kathy interrupted with a shrug. "I wanted to see if this was really…I would have ripped these up in a heartbeat if…"

"Kathy," Elliot said, stopping her, "Goodbye."

Kathy nodded, gave him a small smile, and looked at Olivia. "He's all yours," she said, turning to leave.

"I know," Olivia whispered, but the door had already closed behind the blonde. She looked up at Elliot and she said, softly, "That was awkward."

He laughed, but held up the envelope in his hands. "But this makes it worth it," he said. "I am officially divorced, and I got joint custody of the kids, and I've got you. Life is pretty perfect right now."

"Except for your headache," she said, resuming the rubbing of his temples.

He turned his head toward hers and kissed her. "What headache," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around her. He caught her moaning chuckle in his mouth, deepening their kiss, and he ran his hands down her body to her thighs. He pulled and tugged, forcing her to wrap around him.

She raked her nails through his hair, holding him to her, pressing her body down into his as she rolled her hips. He ran his hands up and down her back, sliding under her clothes, gripping her flesh as he let the kiss grow heated.

He leaned forward when her fingers gripped the material of his jacket, he helped her get it off, and he moved his hands to her waist, playing with the button on her slacks.

Her hands moved to his collar, working the knot of his tie loose, and they stilled when they heard the small voice from behind them.

"Oh, my God!"

Elliot and Olivia pulled apart, their eyes wide, and they stared, shocked, at the teenager staring back at them, grinning.

**A/N: Who caught them? Does Tucker say anything to them? And what does that message from Rebecca mean? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: An unexpected reaction from a Stabler child, and Elliot finally listen's to his voicemail. Tucker shows up, but does he cause trouble?**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia pulled herself off of Elliot fast, leaping to her feet and pulling her shirt back down. She licked and wiped her lips, ran her fingers through her hair, then folded her arms, looking anywhere but at Lizzie. "What are you doing up?" she asked, staring at a patch of carpet near the coffee table.

Lizzie was still giggling as she looked from Olivia to her father, who was trying desperately to re-knot his tie. "I needed a drink," she said.

"Bathroom," Elliot spat, embarrassed. "Upstairs. You have cups and a working sink in there, ya know."

"I wanted juice," Lizzie shrugged. "So when did this start? I mean, how long have you two been necking in the middle of the night?"

Elliot glared at his daughter.

"What?" Lizzie asked, narrowing her eyes. "You don't really think I believe this is the first time this has happened, do you?" She chuckled and shook her head. "You would be much more mortified than this."

Olivia mumbled something quickly and ran up the stairs. Lizzie followed her with her eyes, wondering if maybe she was wrong, because Olivia seemed pretty embarrassed. "Dad?" she asked, concerned.

Elliot sighed. "She didn't want you guys to find out about us yet," he admitted. "Especially not like this. She thinks you're gonna hate her, she thinks she's betraying you all somehow by…" He trailed off and shook his head, giving up trying to tie the silk and ripping it off of his neck. "Ya know what, yeah, we're together, and I'm not sorry."

Lizzie tilted her head and sat on the couch. She looked down, recalling what had just happened on the couch, and she shot back up.

Elliot chuckled and rolled his eyes. "We're not contagious," he laughed.

"I know," Lizzie said. "It's just…weird." She sat on the arm of the couch and folded her arms. "We're not gonna hate her, and no one said you needed to be sorry." She bit her lip and said, "I was, well, I was kind of hoping you'd see how amazing she is and…"

"What?" Elliot interrupted. "You…what?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Come off it, Dad. You know you've always had a thing for her, you never hid it well. When Mom left, I just kind of thought you'd go to her, and you did. She was here for a few days, and I remember…when she made those waffles, I remember eating them and thinking they somehow tasted better. I knew it was because you were happy, she was happy, we were all really happy. I wondered how long it would take you to muster up the guts to tell her you wanted her here for more than just moral support."

Elliot laughed. "So, you're not…"

"I'm a little freaked out, I'm not gonna lie. I never wanna walk in on anything like that again," she said with a shudder. "But I'm not mad. Why do you think I was laughing? I was happy. I am happy."

He walked over and kissed his daughter's forehead. "So am I," he said, giving her a soft smile.

"Would you tell Liv I didn't mean to embarrass her like that?" Lizzie questioned.

Elliot nodded, then turned to head up the stairs as Lizzie got up and headed toward the kitchen. He pushed open his bedroom door, peeked in, then moved toward the room in which Olivia was supposed to sleeping. He opened the door, and he found her already in bed. "Liv? Honey?"

Olivia rolled over and looked at him, saying nothing. The look in her eyes spoke louder and clearer than anything she could have said.

"Oh, honey," he muttered sadly, walking over and climbing into the bed. He wrapped her in his arms, kissed her forehead, and whispered, "She's not mad, or upset. She's actually happy about this, so maybe we should tell the kids, huh?"

She looked up at him, her big eyes looked concerned. "You think that's a good idea?"

He nodded and kissed her again. "We don't really have a choice now. We can't constantly live in fear of them walking in and catching us. God, we're lucky Lizzie wasn't any later, or she would need therapy more than I do."

She chuckled and sighed, snuggling close to him. "Breakfast," she said. "We'll tell them over breakfast."

"Make waffles," he suggested, kissing her again. He moved, just enough to get his shirt and pants off easily, then made himself comfortable with Olivia in his arms. Sleep came easier than expected, the shock of Lizzie's interruption had taken quite a toll on them. They were lucky, though. With the morning ahead of them, they would need the sleep.

* * *

"You two," Cragen said sternly as soon as Elliot and Olivia walked into the bullpen. "Get in my office. Now."

Fin raised an eyebrow at them. "What the hell did you do?"

"We just got here," Olivia said, shrugging.

"Yeah, well, maybe you rode the elevator in an unprofessional way," Munch chimed in, "Because Tucker's in there, too."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, the color drained from both of their faces. "Shit," Elliot spat through gritted teeth.

"This is bad," Olivia said, running a hand through her hair. "We can just tell them we were…"

"I'm telling him the truth, Liv," he interrupted, stepping over to the office door.

Olivia took a breath and followed him, they walked into the small room and closed the door. They sat on the cushioned chairs, silent, waiting for Tucker to say something.

Ed Tucker smirked, then handed them both files. "Bryce Walker and Carlos Valdez have been…"

"Wait," Elliot said, cutting him off. "You brought us in here about a case?"

Cragen scratched his head. "I talked to him already, Elliot. You're fine. Just listen to him, would you?"

Elliot furrowed his brow a bit and said, "You talked to him. About us? When?"

Tucker cleared his throat and folded his arms. "I made a phone call, when I saw the two of you at Lorenzo's. He told me he already knew, I can't exactly go to the chief about it since it's department policy not NYPD law, and you haven't done anything to jeopardize your jobs. Not any more than you usually do, so can we get back to work here?"

Olivia pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. She was relieved. She had to deal with the kids and "coming out of the hall closet" once already today. She wasn't ready to defend her new and undefined relationship to her bosses yet. She looked down at the file and read fast. "What does this have to do with us? They're drug dealers. Shouldn't narcotics…"

"They've escalated," Tucker said. "It's not just drugs they're trafficking."

"Jesus," Elliot mumbled. "Great, so this is on top of the Pramson case? How crazy are you trying to make us?"

Cragen shook his head. "Munch and Fin are taking over Pramson's case. You two are on this, and only this, until further notice. They've been slippery until now, so you've got…"

"We got it, Cap," Elliot said, nodding. He got up to leave, with Olivia right behind him, and his hand was barely on the doorknob when Tucker grabbed his shoulder. He turned and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"If you thought I was up your ass before, Stabler, you're gonna love me now," Tucker said with a snide chuckle. "I will be watching every move you make, analyzing every document you sign, talking to every witness you question. One step in the wrong direction and I will finally have a reason to get rid of you."

"Is that a threat, Tucker?" Elliot asked, eyes narrowing.

Tucker smirked and shook his head. "You know damn well I never make threats." He pushed past Elliot and walked out into the squad room, turned, and said, "I make promises."

Elliot scoffed and watched Tucker walk away, rolling his eyes. "What a corny mother…"

"Elliot," Olivia said, warning him. She nodded at Cragen, slipping beyond the door.

Elliot turned to Cragen and sighed. "So what do I do?" he asked, sounding hopeless.

Cragen gave him a single, firm, expressionless nod. "Your job." He waved a hand, sending Elliot away, and when the door was closed, he moved to his phone. He had a phone call to make and a deal to strike. He only hoped it would work.

"Well?" Munch asked, rubbing his forehead and leaning back on his chair, "What happened?"

"You two have control of the Pramson case," Olivia said, grabbing a mug off of her desk.

Fin raised both eyebrows. "What?" he asked. "You got pulled off the case? What the fuck for?"

Elliot chuckled. "Nothing, we just got handed something bigger, so you have to take the current rape, man, it's nothing we did."

Munch turned to look at him. "So this had nothing to do with you and Benson…"

"Munch!" Olivia yelled, dropping her mug in the sink.

Elliot shook his head. "No, John. And could you keep it down! How the hell did you even know?"

"Know what?" Munch asked, confused. "I was just gonna ask if it had anything to do with you two manhandling Meyers in the interrogation on Monday!"

Olivia sighed, closing her eyes. "Shit," she said. "Sorry."

"Whatever," Munch said. "But what did you think I meant? How did I know what?"

"Forget it," Elliot said. He moved over to the coffee pot, next to Olivia, and he reached for a mug. His arm brushed against hers, he felt a spark shoot right through him. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe, remembering what Rebecca had told him.

"You okay?" Olivia asked, seeing him freeze.

He nodded fast, not looking at her. "I'm good." As he turned, though, he got a waft of her scent, her shampoo and body wash, and instantly he thought of her naked. "Damn it," he hissed, shaking his head.

Olivia rested a hand on his shoulder. "El, are you…"

He brushed her off of him. "I have to go to the bathroom." He turned and walked out, fast.

"Thanks for sharing!" Fin yelled after him with a laugh. He turned back to the coffee table. "Baby-Girl, what…" he stopped. "Where did she go?"

Olivia had followed Elliot out of the room, taking the rear doors. She followed him into the men's room, but jumped in front of him at the stall. Before she could say anything, he made a low growling noise. "Move," he hissed.

"No," she said, her eyes boring into his. "What the hell just happened?"

"You happened," he said, regretting it but too uncomfortable to change his tone. "This is…she told me if I didn't…damn it."

She held his gaze. "Talk to me. Who told you what?"

"Rebecca," he sighed. "I listened to her voicemail, and it was more of a warning than anything. She said this could be controlled if…if we had regular…I meant at least twice a…"

"Okay," she said, cutting him off and narrowing her eyes.

He looked at her and tugged lightly on his pants. "We were interrupted last night, too busy this morning, Liv. Touching you, fucking smelling you and I…that was all it took. You gotta move, I'm in a lot of pain here, and while there's no one in here…"

"Oh, so that's what this is?" she said with an irritated expression. "You thought you'd come in here and…I thought I told you that I would…"

He crashed her lips into hers, stopping her talking and moaning as he lost his balance and fell backward into the wall. He gripped her body, pulling at the waistband of her pants. He whined with a shaking voice as he struggled to get her zipper down, he felt her fingers working over his own fly, tormenting the already over-sensitive area.

She worked fast for him, knowing that it was both risky and urgent. Finally shoving down his slacks, she took hold of him tightly.

He shook his head, his protests muffled by his mouth, as he swatted her hands away. He got her pants over her hips, hiked her up around his waist, then pulled her panties aside and pushed into her roughly, a relieved groan escaping through their kiss.

She held on, keeping their kisses frantic and powerful. She bit and tugged on his lips, trying to concentrate on him, on them, and not on the slimy bathroom wall of the Sixteenth precinct. She tightened every muscle she had, hearing his deep and low responsive moaning as he thrust into and out of her hard and fast.

"Not a problem," he breathed, as if he was trying to convince himself. "Fuck, baby," he said softly, hitting into her. He felt her tightened walls sliding over him, rippling waves of pleasure coursed through him each time he pushed back in. He ran one hand through her hair lovingly as the other kept her balanced on his body. This had to end, he knew, or he would surely get them both fired.

She was meeting every eager thrust, keeping her eyes on him, kissing him. She shivered when the hand in her hair moved, trailing like icy water over her chest and down her stomach. She gasped into his mouth when it reached its destination, his thumb flicking at her clit as their bodies hit together. She moaned against lips, nibbled on his tender skin, and tried to work as hard as he was.

He was ready to burst, but he never could let go until he was certain she did. He knew that he'd been rough, that he hadn't given her any build-up and expected her to be ready, it was unfair. This was the least he could offer her now. "Baby, please," he begged, moving harder and swiping her clit faster.

"More, El," she whispered hotly into his ear, knowing it would spur him into overdrive. "More, baby. Harder."

He grunted as he spun around, slamming her into the wall. He pounded into her, so hard he could hear their bodies slapping together, he could feel their pelvic bones hitting and he moaned at the sensation. "Fuck," he hissed, knowing she had given him permission to take what he needed from her, permission to take without giving. That wasn't his style.

She rolled her eyes and moaned again, feeling his fingers pinching and rubbing over her clit once more, and she lost it. She clenched around him tighter, making it impossible for him to move. She arched her back and her head dropped. She cried his name and scraped her nails down his chest, as if trying to claw her way up from some kind of low cave.

The sight before him was the nail in the coffin, he grunted as he shot off inside of her, still deep within her. He let his head fall to her neck and he laughed. A joyful but defeated laugh. "Well," he said as he panted. "Now we know."

"Know what?" she breathed.

He lifted his head, kissed her lips, and smirked. "This is a problem, and there is a solution. Before we go to bed and when we wake up, no exceptions, no excuses."

"El," she said, still heaving between him and the wall, "This new case…we're not gonna be going home for…"

He dropped his forehead to hers, stopping her from speaking. "Shit." He knew what suppressing his needs would do. It would create a monster.

**A/N: Three days in the squad room with Tucker? That can't be good. Especially in Elliot's condition. The kids talk to their mother, and we find out who Cragen called! A visit from Rebecca prompts Elliot to make a shocking decision, one that he won't be able to take back. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: They don't have twelve-step programs for this kind of thing…**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to Tstabler©**

Elliot was slowly going crazy. No, not slowly. Very quickly. He was still trying to get over the conversation he had with his kids, who had talked to their mother. Kathy had been vile, downright despicable. But only when talking about him. He found it odd that Kathy defended Olivia, claiming in wasn't her fault that she had been slowly seducing Elliot away from her, instead she blamed it all on Elliot's inability to control himself.

As he looked at her, sitting across from him with her pen in her mouth, reading something very intently, he knew Kathy was probably right. It was his fault that he couldn't control his attraction to Olivia. It was his fault he couldn't control how his mind and his body reacted to her every move. Just one glance from her made every hair on his body stand on end, made every muscle tighten and burn.

He had been doing well, really, for the first several hours of their new case. He had been taking the new pills Rebecca had given him, and he was relatively calm. That night, up in the cribs, he was able to sleep, with her in his arms, without any problem. However, the morning of their second awful day in the squad room, with Ed Tucker hovering over his shoulder, was proving to be more difficult to endure.

He was still staring at her, watching the cap of her pen flatten as she gnawed on it, holding it between her teeth. He was watching her lips, watching them pout and moisten as she licked them before running the end of her pen along her plump bottom one. He groaned and shifted in his seat, leaning forward to get a closer view.

She noticed him staring, dropped her pen, and sent him a smirk. "Something I can help you with, Stabler?"

He narrowed his eyes, emitting a low, feral growl. "You know damn well there is," he hissed. "Just not now. Not for a while, and you have no idea how much pain I'm in right now." He ran a hand over his face, scratching at his chin, then said, "If you could stop doing that, it'd be helpful."

"Doing what?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow, confused now. She wasn't aware she'd been doing anything but reading over some statements.

He rolled his eyes. "That," he huffed. "Don't look at me, don't move the…the way you move. Don't even fucking blink, Liv," he told her, his voice low and almost threatening.

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't…"

"And did you have to wear that?" he asked, interrupting, jutting a hand out to gesture to her outfit. "Did you even look at yourself in a mirror today? You're so..." he scraped his teeth over his bottom lip. "That fucking shirt is like a second layer of skin, those pants…I can't…fuck, Liv, this is…shit."

She eyed him for a moment, then got out of her seat. She walked over to his locker, opened it, and pulled out his grey, hooded sweatshirt. She pulled it on over her head, then dug into its pocket to pull out a hair elastic that she'd left in it the last time she wore it.

She pulled her hair up into a messy bun, then walked back to her seat. "Better?" she asked, picking up her pen.

He chuckled. "Worse," he said. "Do you have any idea how hot you look in that thing?" He shook his head and sighed. "You're wearing my clothes. It's a guy thing. Besides, I always said you looked beautiful in sweats with your hair…up…off your neck. God, your neck," he moaned, closing his eyes. "You just made it ten times worse."

She heaved a frustrated sigh and leaned back. "Well, I don't know what you want me to do. I can't go home, I can't…"

"There's nothing you can do," he interjected. "Not right now. Just…let's just get back to work. Maybe we'll hit…"

"Will you two stop the chatter and get back to work?" Tucker barked at them from his spot near the computer on an empty desk. "We're on a serious time…"

"I know!" Elliot yelled, his frustration getting the best of him. "Jesus, I know! I was just saying that we had to get back to work. And it was, what, two minutes? Did I really damage the damn case over two fucking minutes?"

"Elliot!" Olivia snapped, getting him to look at her. She was stunned by the look in his eyes, the ferocity in his glare. She watched his nostrils flare, and his chest heave. She lowered her voice and said, "Calm down."

He nodded, his hand scouring down his face again. "Sorry," he shot over his shoulder to Tucker. He slumped in his seat, then, and dropped his head into his hands. "Liv, what am I doing?" he asked quietly.

"El," she whispered, leaning toward him, "I don't wanna say this. I mean, it kills me to say this, but I think you may have to admit that…this is a problem."

He shook his head and hazarded a glance up at her. "It wouldn't be if we…"

"But obviously it is when we can't…ya know…stick to the routine," she said, eying Tucker who could hear, and was definitely listening to every word. "Listen, I got this for a while. It's all reading and searching anyway right now. Go take a cool shower, and…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Come with me," he said. The pain and pleading in his eyes was clear.

"I can't," she whispered. "Not this time," she said, jutting her chin toward Tucker, who was glaring harshly at the pair. "Not with him here."

Elliot turned his head, bit his lip, and nodded. He got up, tugging his suit jacket closed to hide his severely straining erection. He sent a longing glance toward Olivia, who looked away from him and started to pour over her work. He sighed and walked out of the squad room, heading for the showers, hoping taking a cold one would calm him down.

* * *

He walked back into the room, twenty minutes later, feeling a lot better now that he'd relieved himself, visualizing Olivia the entire time. He sighed and sat at his desk, looking around the room for her. He smiled when he saw her, still wearing the sweatshirt, her hair still up. His heart pounded as she turned and walked toward their joined desks.

"Here," she said, dropping a cup of coffee onto his desk. "Munch has been out with Fin all day, so I made it. I promise, it's actually good."

"Thanks," he said, grinning. "I'm sorry, Liv." He bit his lip and dropped his gaze.

She smirked. "Don't be," she said, sipping her own coffee. "You know, I get just as worked up and irritated as you do, but I can hide it." She chuckled. "You can't. It's, uh, quite obvious in your case."

He laughed and shook his head. "You're being really understanding about all of this," he said, picking up another witness statement. "I'm just not used to it. Kathy…Kathy never understood anything about me."

She scoffed and rifled through the papers on her desk. "I pay more attention to you, you know that. And don't even get me started on Kathy," she said. "I'm still pissed off at her for what she said to your kids. I mean, blaming you for everything. I had a hand in this. I didn't stop you."

"She knows you," he said, writing down some new facts in his notebook. "She knows you tried to stop me, and she knows I pushed you and convinced you. She was actually very…understanding. She has a right to be hurt, Liv."

"She doesn't have the right to tell your children that you're a heartless asshole," Olivia spat, picking up the ringing phone. "Benson," she hissed. She waited, listened, and then leaned back in her chair with a grumpy sound. "Right. Thanks, Mel. Bye." She slammed the phone down and rubbed her eyes. "We got another one," she said, standing.

Elliot rolled his eyes as he stood, too, and grumbled under his breath when Tucker moved to follow them. "He wasn't kidding when he said he'd be watching every move I make, was he?"

"Guess not," Olivia said.

Elliot narrowed his eyes, then he walked up to her, resting his hand on her lower back, caressing a bit, knowing Tucker saw it, and not caring one bit.

* * *

"More coffee," Elliot mumbled, handing Olivia his mug. "You're getting up anyway, right?"

She yawned and nodded, grabbing his mug out of his hands and getting up. "Who were you talking to?" she asked, walking toward the coffee pot. She poured as she waited for him to answer.

"Huh?" he asked, running a hand through his short hair.

"You were on the phone for a while," she said. "With whom were you speaking?" she said, handing him a hot cup of coffee, winking at him.

He laughed at her formal speech, then sipped his coffee. "Doctor Bond," he said, rolling his eyes. "I told her what happened today, and she said…she said if I couldn't deal with being around you, then maybe I should transfer."

She looked at him, her eyes wide. "Are you…you're…what?"

He sat up and said, "I'm not going to, I don't think. It's not even…not yet. I can do this, Liv, but…down the road, if I can't get a grip here, then it's an option. I've got forms, not filled out, but I have them."

Her heart broke a bit. "What does that even…"

"I'm not filling them out, I'm not handing them in," Elliot told her, holding her gaze. "Not until I'm sure I've got you, permanently, some other way. So we've gotta figure this out, maybe wake up earlier, take lunch breaks together and go home for…"

"Rebecca actually told you that you should transfer?" she asked, still scared and slightly angry.

Elliot nodded, sipping his coffee again. "She said she had it on good authority that I might be asked to leave before the year's out, anyway." He smirked and said, "Cragen called her."

"What?" she asked, shocked. "Why?"

"He wanted to know if this was gonna affect my ability to do my job," Elliot said, his brow scrunching. "He went behind my back and called my therapist, and he's worried that my sexual appetite is going to affect my job, more than lack of trust in my supervisor."

Olivia tilted her head. "El, he was probably just…"

"Liv, the man talked me five minutes before he called her," he interrupted. "Instead of taking my word for it, he…" he paused and sipped his coffee. "He broke confidentiality, and he broke protocol. He had no right to call her, and she had no right to tell him…"

She chuckled. "She isn't really sticking to any kind of doctor-patient-confidentiality, is she?"

"No," he said, not laughing. "And he told her that I was on thin ice as it is, and he was the one who told her to tell me transferring was an easy fix. Which is why I filed a claim with…"

"Wait," she said, holding up a hand. "You reported this? You filed a claim against Cragen? El, are you out of your mind?"

He smirked. "No, I'm not. See, I didn't give them my name, and I didn't give them too many details. But I know that Tucker and Cragen have to spend two hours down in the board room, trying to get to the bottom of it."

Olivia popped her head up, hearing Cragen's door open. She watched as Cragen, looking confused and pissed off, stormed out of the room. Tucker, behind him, said, "The two of better be here when I get back. I want a full report on this case, and I expect you to have a location by the time I return."

Elliot watched the two men leave, then got out of his seat. He held out his hand to his partner.

She shook her head. "What are you…"

"Come with me," he said. "We don't have a lot of time, and I didn't do this for nothing."

She raised an eyebrow, dropped her hand into his, and let him pull her to her feet.

He led her up to the bunkroom, and he locked the door behind him. "Liv," he said, ripping off his tie, "You were right."

She watched him take off his shirt, the throb building between her legs and in her chest. "About what?"

He dropped his shirt to the floor, then unbuckled and lowered his pants. He stalked toward her, reaching for the hem of the sweatshirt. "I think it's time I admitted…that this is a problem." He pulled the cotton over her head and went to work on her buttons.

She gave him a soft moan, feeling his fingers grazing her skin as he peeled her clothes off of her. "What are you gonna do about it?" she asked, raking her nails down his chest when he moved toward her pants.

"I'm doing it," he said, his mouth moving against the skin of her neck, his fingers toying with the lace of her panties. "I'm doing the best I can, baby. Until we work something out."

She sighed as she felt him slip off her underwear, and she knew that they had to fix this, or she would lose him. She couldn't let him transfer, she couldn't let him hold onto the papers "just in case." She had to prove to him she was his, and she wasn't going anywhere. That's what Rebecca had said weeks ago, but she didn't know how to prove it to him.

She felt him pushing into her, pinning her against the wall, and she moaned loudly into his ear, her nails dug into his back hard, and it hit her. She knew what she had to do, and she was ready for it.

**A/N: Olivia's plan revealed, along with its flaws, next! Review here or on Twitter: TMG212**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: His problem finally causes a problem.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters? Dick Wolf. This story? TStabler©**

Olivia lifted a hand to her face, covering a yawn. "Is he still on the other side, or did he leave us here to do this alone?"

Elliot took the last sip of the cold coffee in his hand and grimaced. "He's there," he said. "He wouldn't leave. This is his case, if you ask him, and we're just tagging along." He put the empty cup into the holder near the radio and ran his hands up and down his face. "Fuck, this has been exhausting."

Olivia glared at him as she yawned again. "Who are you telling?" she asked, rolling out a kink in her neck.

"Come here," he said, leaning over the console. He rested both hands on her shoulders and squeezed, feeling the knots and tension immediately. "Christ," he hissed. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

She scoffed. "Well, let's see. I haven't slept in a real bed in days, my partner keeps fucking me nine ways from Sunday up against doors and walls which doesn't do much to relax me, Tucker has been following us like a starved puppy, and Cragen hates you after that stunt you pulled, which is why we're sitting in this car outside of a run-down motel at midnight on a Friday watching nothing happen."

He chuckled and rubbed his strong hands down her spine, his fingers digging into her mangled muscles and working the knots out. "It could be worse," he said. "It could be three in the morning on a Saturday." He kissed her neck and whispered, "We, uh, we don't really have to watch nothing happen."

"Are you...you've gone mental," she snapped. Then she moaned. "You bastard, that feels so good."

He kissed her neck again and worked his hands deeper into her flesh. "Tucker's got the next hour," he said. "I can just set an alarm on my phone." He slipped his hands under her shirt and rubbed harder, the skin-to-skin contact making him groan along with her. "Please?" he whispered, his tortured voice hoarse in her ear. "Baby, I don't know how much longer I can..."

"Stop," she said. She turned her head, looking at him over her shoulder. She saw the desperation in his eyes, and she reached down into his pocket.

He moaned, the contact proving to me more of a titillation than it should have been. "God, Liv," he said with a shiver.

She pulled out his cell phone, clicked a few buttons, and tossed it onto the dashboard. "I swear to God," she said, "If I lose my job because of your severe psychological..."

He silenced her with a kiss, moving fast and shifting his body between the seats. He kept his mouth against hers as he yanked her into the backseat, shifting things around and tossing her onto the cushions.

"Ow," she said, bucking her body into his. She rolled to the side, reaching an arm underneath her and ripping an empty water bottle out from under her ass. She tossed it into the front seat as Elliot began to work on unbuttoning her pants.

He looked at her with apologetic eyes and smirked when she reached for his belt buckle. "You're loving this," he said, shaking his head and laughing a bit.

"Uh, yeah," she said. "I love you, I love being with you, but this is just a little redic..."

He flattened over her again, kissing her and sliding her panties to the side. He stroked himself twice, all that was needed since he had been rock hard for several hours already.

She seethed as he entered her, then she sighed, feeling him bury himself in her completely. She gripped his hips as he began thrust, looping her fingers through his belt loops. She had to laugh as the pitiful hilarity of it, they were still fully clothed and romance was not a factor in this at all.

He moved fast, keeping one hand on the ceiling of the car so he wouldn't hit his head. He tried to shift his weight to keep her under him without falling off of the seat, but it was proving to be difficult. He hadn't really thought this through.

"Shit," she cursed. "Stop, baby."

He looked at her, puzzled, throbbing, and tilted his head. "Am I hurting you?"

"No," she said, arching her back. She pulled a sneaker out from underneath her and shot him a look. "How do you only have one sneaker back here?"

He shrugged, ripped it out of her hand, and tossed it into the front seat. He looked back down at her and smirked, moving in for a kiss. He thrust his hips, running his hands along her body slowly and tenderly, trying to let her know that this wasn't just because he needed the physical satisfaction of being with her.

She moaned beneath him, finding bliss in the midst of discomfort, and wondering if this was at all giving him the idea that she was in this, if he finally realized she would give him whatever he needed.

He suckled on her neck, moaning as he filled her. He felt her hands on him, felt her responding to him eagerly. "So tight," he mumbled, nipping at her skin.

"Hmm, El?" she cooed, clenching her muscles tightly."

"What, baby?" he asked, peering down at her, his body on fire, ready to blow.

She turned her head and said, "I think your phone is..."

Before she could finish talking, a loud and angry knock on the fogged up windows broke them apart. "Shit," he spat, pulling out of her, rushing to adjust himself, and hop into the front seat. He waited until Olivia was in the passenger seat, then rolled down the window.

Tucker wasted no time. "What the fuck have the two of you been doing? I've been calling you for twenty minutes! I had to go in there and...why are you out of breath and...are you...what was going on in this car?"

Elliot looked at Olivia, saw her bite her lip and run a hand through her hair, and she looked out the window, giving Tucker all the answer he needed.

* * *

"Calm down," Olivia said, cringing as his fist flew into the locker for the fifth time. "You're gonna break your hand."

"Haven't yet," he snapped, laying another punch into the metal. "A fucking week! Suspended for a goddamned week!"

"You could have been fired altogether!" she shouted, looking up at him as he paced around her in the locker room. "You're fucking lucky! We both are!"

"Lucky?" he barked. "You think this is...I had to explain my...issue...to Ed fucking Tucker! He laughed at me, Liv! He thought it was fucking hysterical!"

"Yeah, until you told him you only had this problem with me," she intruded. "That shut him up real fast."

Elliot scoffed. "Fuck, that's because every guy in the entire department has it bad for you. You're the only woman here that's straight and under three hundred pounds. I think Munch has fantasies about you."

"Now that's not fair!" she yelled.

"None of this is fucking fair!" he yelled back. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't wake up one day and say, 'Gee, I think I'm gonna leave my wife and develop a physical dependence on my partner so I can have an all-access pass into her pants!"

She folded her arms and countered, "I didn't ask to be the reason you ruined your life."

He dropped his head and sighed. "Honey, that's not...you didn't ruin anything." He took a deep breath and said, "You've made everything so much better, I just...this is so hard."

She turned her eyes up a bit and said, "I know it is, El. You're not in this alone."

"I know I'm not," he said with a small smile. "I've got you, and I'm pretty sure you're not leaving me anytime soon, right?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Is the Pope Catholic?"

He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "I love you," he said. He bent over and kissed her sweetly, then said, "I'll see you at home." He caressed her cheek a bit, then picked up his jacket and walked out of the locker room, leaving her to close the case alone. With Tucker.

He strutted down the hall, heading back to the squad room. He thought about what had just happened, what could have happened if he didn't make sure Tucker understood Olivia was only trying to keep him functioning and shouldn't be punished for his faults. He had to make sure he would never let her risk her job for him again.

He walked through the bullpen doors, over to his desk, and he pulled open the bottom drawer. He reached into it and pulled out a stack of papers, biting his lip as he scanned the top sheet, as if he hadn't read them ten times already.

He picked up a pen and heaved a heavy sigh, bending over his desk and signing his name to each page. He dotted his last I, tossed the pen onto his desk, and straightened up. He looked at the papers, then looked at Cragen's door, then looked at Olivia's empty desk.

He knew he had to move, he had to take a step in one direction or the other. Out the door or toward Cragen's office. The problem was making the choice.

**A/N: What choice does he make? Is it the right one? And Olivia realizes she may have a sure-fire way to hold onto Elliot after all. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: NOTE TO MY READERS AND FRIENDS: My first novel, CHASE, has been published and is now available for download from BN DOT COM and AMAZON DOT COM. PM me for more details and the link/instructions if you're interested, and thank you all for giving me the support and encouragement to follow my dream! I owe this to you!**

**Some of the hardest decisions are made out of love for everyone but ourselves.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

He heard the door open, he knew it was her. He swirled the whiskey around in his glass and said, without looking over his shoulder, "You're home late."

"Yeah," she said. "Without you, Cragen jammed me up with more paperwork than necessary and Tucker…let's just say I'm lucky I still have a job."

He scoffed. "You're not the one that has to worry about not having a job." He swung back the whiskey, made a face, and slammed the glass down.

She raised an eyebrow and walked over to him, thinking about how wrong he was. She sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him, and picked up his empty glass. She looked at it as she turned it in her hands. "Is this necessary?"

"Do you have any idea what I almost did tonight?" he asked, licking the remains of the strong drink from his lips.

She bit her lip and dropped the glass onto the table. "You signed them," she said. "Cragen told me. He also told me that you confused the hell out of him. What happened?"

He scoffed and said, "I babbled like an idiot, Liv. I kept handing them to him then taking them back. I almost cried in front of him when I thought about you, without me. I didn't think it would be so fucking hard to leave."

She sighed and said. "Well, now you don't have to." She got up, took three steps, and folded her arms. "You're not…"

He looked at her, worried, and he cut her off. "What does that mean? Tucker? Did he get you in some kind of trouble? I took the heat for this!"

"No, I'm not in trouble with Tucker," she said. She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and took a deep breath. "El, I don't know how to tell you this…"

"You quit?" he asked, sitting up straight. "I told you that if I had to go…"

"I didn't quit!" she snapped. "Can you let me finish a goddamned sentence?" She exhaled again, and shook her head. "It's bad enough you signed those damned papers and were just gonna leave without telling me!"

He scooted forward on the seat and rested his elbows on his knees. "I couldn't…I was just thinking about it, Liv. I realized I can't do this without you." He sighed and looked at her, seeing her angry eyes. "Sorry. Go ahead. What are you trying to say?"

"I just…we might have a problem," she said, turning around. She stepped back again and said, "I thought…I thought I had it figured out. Give you what you wanted, be there for you, and that would be it, to prove that I was staying."

He nodded and got out of his seat. "This isn't about…I know you're not leaving me, baby." He reached for her and she backed away. He furrowed his brow, hurt and confused. "What the hell, Liv?"

"El, I…" She took a deep breath, looked at him cautiously, and said, "I'm late."

"I know, you're like an hour…" he paused, confused for a moment, then his eyes bulged. "Late. As in late. Like pregnant late."

"As in…I think so, yeah," she said, shaking her head. "This is not what we need right now. So not…I mean, I wanted to talk to you about it, maybe a few years down the road if we were still…"

"We're still gonna be…so, wait, you think you're…but I thought you were on the pill!" He wasn't angry, just shocked, and he tried to express that. "Baby, this is just…wow. Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure," she snapped, turning to him. "I know, okay? I know this is bad. I know neither one of us wants this right now!"

"Who said anything about this being bad?" he asked, walking over to her.

She looked at him as if he just told her he was an avid Satanist. "Are you nuts? We can't have a baby! I can't have a baby," she spat, laughing bitterly. "You're divorce has only been legally final for two days, we aren't even really…this isn't a real…"

"You're the one that's nuts," he interrupted, his voice dry, scratchy, hurt. "We've got a couple of problems, but this is real. More real than anything I've ever known in my life. You love me, don't you?"

She closed her eyes and dropped her head. "Yes," she whispered. "You know I do."

"Doesn't get more real than that," he said, storming up to her and grabbing her shoulders. "Look at me," he said, staring into her eyes. "I love you. If that isn't pretty fucking clear by now, then…God, I need you, Liv. This is beyond love."

"And we're possibly bringing a baby into this," she said, cupping his face. The panic in her eyes was clear. "We're not stable enough for this."

He kissed her, hard, trying to make it clear that he was happy, and ready. He pulled away and said, "We can be. We will be. Just…we need to find out…definitely."

She nodded, biting her lip still. "You're sure you're not upset? Not mad?" she asked. She ran a hand down his arm and said, "You've already got four kids, you don't even know if…"

"I know I want kids with you," he whispered to her. "I've known that since…since the moment I realized I felt this way about you. This isn't a good time, I'll admit, but it's not something we can't deal with. We can handle this." He swiped his left thumb under her right eye, and he whispered, "If we have something to handle, that is." He kissed her forehead and he whispered, "I'm so sorry, baby."

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his chest. "We're not ready for this, El," she mumbled.

He looked up, toward the ceiling, and he sighed. He knew she was right. "We'll just have to get ready, then. Won't we?" He pulled her tighter to him, rocking her a bit, and he sighed. He didn't know how he would calm things down enough to prepare for a baby, no matter how badly he wanted to do it.

* * *

"You all right?" Fin asked, watching Elliot chew on his pen. "Strange, you comin' here instead of waiting for her at her place. Only a fool would come into this place when he doesn't have to."

"Oh, uh, yeah," Elliot said, turning his head. "I just, uh, well, you know how I get when something's wrong with Liv."

Munch chuckled. "Yeah, you get all hot and bothered," he said. "It's just a check-up, right? She's not sick. Or at least she hasn't been." He narrowed his eyes and said, "You know something we don't know?"

"I know her," Elliot said, tossing the bitten pen onto his desk. "She won't go home. If something's wrong, she's gonna come here to avoid it. Thought I'd have a better shot at meeting her here."

Fin nodded. "That's Benson," he said. "You never told us what they suspended you for, ya know."

"Yeah," Elliot said, narrowing his eyes. "You don't wanna know."

Fin cleared his throat, leaned back, and smirked. "I do, actually. They suspend you, but they don't say shit to Olivia? That ain't right, You two never do anything without each other, so either you really fucked up, or she did and you took the fall for her."

Elliot ran a hand down his face. "Put it this way," he said. "We both screwed up, but Tucker was in charge."

Fin rolled his eyes. "I got ya," he said. "I don't know what you did to get under his skin, but he has it in for you. In the worst way."

"Don't I know it," Elliot scoffed. He heard footsteps behind him and he stood up fast, turning to face the door. His heart dropped when he saw that it was just Tucker. "You," he spat.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tucker fumed, pointing at Elliot. "You were given a formal…"

"I'm not on the clock," Elliot interrupted. "I just…I'm waiting for something."

Tucker chuckled. "What? A pink slip? You waiting for me to haul you in on something else?"

"He's waiting for me," Olivia's voice declared from the doorway. She felt uncomfortable as everyone's eyes fell on her, and she took a deep breath. "Well, the good news is it's nothing life-threatening."

Munch looked at her with worried eyes. "But that means that there's bad news," he said. "God, Benson, what is…"

"It's nothing," she said, shaking her head. The tears in her eyes were clear, and her lip trembled slightly as she tried to control herself. "I'm just…well, guys, I'm a little bit…pregnant."

Fin was on his feet in a second, Munch ran to her side, and Tucker glared harshly at Elliot, who was too stunned to move a muscle. "You?" Tucker hissed.

Elliot licked his lips and looked up at Tucker. "Me," he said, nodding only once. He got off of the desk, and he pushed Fin and Munch out of the way. He took both of her hands and he squeezed them until she looked at him. "Yeah?" he asked, when her eyes finally met his.

She pressed her lips together as her eyes turned downward, letting the tears fall, and she nodded, falling into him with a soft sob. "I don't know how…I'm sorry. El, I'm so sorry."

He chuckled, rubbed his hands up and down her back, and he said, "I'm not. We'll get some new furniture, we'll talk to the kids tonight, I should probably call Kathy before she hears it from someone else."

She pulled away from him and sniffled, then looked up at him. "What? You're…you're not…"

"I told you last night," he said, still smiling, "That I wanted this. This is just way too soon, and we're not prepared at all, but it doesn't mean I want it any less." He grinned wickedly, then, and leaned into her. "And with your hormones firing off in a thousand directions, I won't be the only one with an insatiable need for sex." He wagged his eyebrows and she laughed, which made his heart melt. "There's my girl. You want this, Liv. It's okay to want this."

She took a breath and nodded, and she let out another happy laugh through her tears. "Is it?"

He nodded, and he kissed her forehead. He knew Munch and Fin were staring, and he knew Tucker's ears were smoking behind him. He didn't turn away from her fully, he simply shot a look over his shoulder. "Who the hell did you think it was?" he asked with a smirk.

Fin folded his arms, shook his head, and said, "Honestly? I thought it was Tucker."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You would."

Tucker snapped, "I wouldn't. Ever.." He looked at Olivia, feeling just a little pang of jealousy. "Not with her. No offense, Benson," he said, trying to smile at her.

"None taken," she said. "You hate me as much as I hate you."

Tucker nodded, but he bit the inside of his bottom lip. Something that only Elliot noticed.

Elliot smirked. It all made sense now. He turned back to Olivia, kissed her forehead again, and said, "I called Rebecca. I'm gonna see her twice a week, and George is there if I need him. I'm really gonna work on this. I wanna give you the real, stable, life you and our child deserve."

She sniffled again and looked into his eyes. "You can wait a few months," she said. "You were right about those hormones," she joked.

He laughed and pulled her hands, leading her toward the office. "We have to tell him."

She nodded, and she squeezed his hand. "You think he'll be pissed?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"Honey," Elliot said, as he raised his hand to knock on the door, "I think he's gonna kill me." He kissed her again, took a deep breath, and knocked hard. He knew what Cragen would say, and he was ready for it."

**A/N: What does Cragen do/say? How do they break the news to the kids? And will this bring them closer together, or tear them apart? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212 **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Breaking the news, breaking hearts, and dealing with a problem.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia looked down at the bottle of pills in her hand. She sighed as she unscrewed the cap, and she thought briefly about how she'd always assumed she'd never need them. She shook the bottle and let one large vitamin drop into her open palm.

Elliot, right beside her, handed her a cup of water as she tossed the pill into her mouth. He smiled at her as she nodded her thanks as she swallowed and handed him the empty cup. "Okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded again, then said, "I just wish he'd stop looking at me like that."

"Who?" he asked, confused. "Like what?"

"Cragen," Olivia said, her voice low. "Like a disappointed father."

He hummed a bit and moved closer to her. "The kids were okay," he said, trying to comfort her.

"The kids are confused," she returned. "You saw their faces, El. They were shocked. Maybe even scared. They're just about as ready for this as we are," she said with a scoff. "And now Cragen hates me."

Elliot discreetly ran a hand down her back. "He let me come back, Liv, so that's gotta mean…"

"That means he couldn't have you suspended and me on a desk at the same time," she interrupted. "That's all that means." She ran a hand through her hair. "Shit, I can do my job, El. I'm pregnant, not…"

"And you really thought that I would let you follow me into the field?" Elliot asked, sounding authoritative. "That's just silly. You know how many times we get punched and kicked and shot at? No way am I letting…"

"You…" she interrupted, but she stopped. "You're right. I can't…I just can't believe I'm…I don't think like mother, Elliot, I think like a cop, and I don't know how fast I can change that."

"Calm down," he whispered, turning her face by her chin to meet his loving eyes. "Just breathe. You do think like a mother, Liv, always. When you're thinking about my kids, or the young victims we deal with. Channel that part of the cop, and you'll be fine." He smiled at her and said, "We're gonna do this, honey."

Olivia smiled at him, and she moved her head just a bit, her eyes landing on Cragen. Her smile faded, she stepped away from Elliot, and she stood up a little straighter, as if she was a rookie at the academy in the presence of her CO.

Cragen shook his head, sighed, then said, "Laurie Durbin. Where are we on that?"

Fin opened his mouth, but Elliot stopped him. "Three guys down in holding," he said. "Liv actually…"

"Great," Cragen broke him off. "Get them into interrogation, separately. Make 'em crack." He saw Olivia moving and he said, "Not you. You sit your ass down and get to work on that 'Five from the Freeburg case. I need that on my desk today, Tucker needs a copy."

Olivia gave him a disconsolate frown and shook her head as she sat down, huffing as she turned her chair to face her computer. She glanced up at Elliot, who looked at her apologetically, and she shook her head again. She jutted her chin at him, telling him to go, and she sighed when he did.

She turned her attention to her computer and watched the cursor blinking in the file program. She took a deep breath, refusing to cry, and she started typing up her report. She was, for the most part, alone in this, and her thoughts drifted to Elliot, who seemed to be the only one that was completely invested in her.

It wasn't as comforting as she hoped, but it did make her heart swell. She stopped clicking the keys and looked down., envisioning a swollen belly where her now-flat and toned stomach was, and she couldn't help the smile that grew on her face. She looked up and started typing again, a newfound lightness in her heart.

* * *

Hours drifted by, and Olivia could hear Elliot shouting from her spot in the pit, with the monitor on. If she couldn't be in the interrogation room, she wanted to at least watch it go down. Something was stirring in her, though, as she watched Elliot's anger bubble over.

She moaned lightly as she saw him grab the suspect by the collar and press him into the wall, scowling at him. She closed her eyes and imagined herself in there, up against the wall, Elliot's hot breath on her neck, his face that close to hers. She whimpered as she felt the aching need rise, the liquid heat forming between her legs.

Her eyes fluttered open when she heard a loud bang, and she groaned when she saw that Elliot had flung the table toward the side of the room. The suspect, now cowering in the corner, seemed almost near tears. Elliot's face was tight, the vein in his neck throbbing, and she felt her heartbeat speed up. "Damn it," she muttered to herself.

She gripped the side of the table in front of her, so hard her knuckles turned white, and she bit her lip. She wasn't aware that he affected her this strongly. Or, rather, she was very aware, but usually had control over it. She was usually in the room with him, unable to let it all sink in.

She jumped when he came bursting through the door, his chest heaving in anger as he slammed it shut behind him. "Shit," he cursed. Then he saw her, he saw the way she was looking at him, and the fire in his eyes took on a new, deeper meaning.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice a lot huskier than she'd been going for.

He chuckled, moving toward her. "Fine," he said. "You know, nothing gets me going like a good beat-down." He gave another low laugh and raised his hand, playing with her collar. "You remember the last time…"

"Door," she said, cutting him off. "Lock it this time."

He chuckled and shook his head, moving closer to her. He grabbed her suddenly, wrapping one hand around her waist and pulling her close. "No time," he spat, then he kissed her, violently. He worked her pants open quickly, his breathing speeding up. "Shit, I have an appointment with Becky later, maybe we should…"

"You stop now, and you're gonna miss that appointment, because you'll be in intensive care." She raked her nails down his chest, making him groan, and she let out a hard gasp when he thrust two fingers into her without warning.

"God," he groaned. "You're so damn wet, honey," he said with an evil laugh. "You were watching, weren't you?"

She moaned as she nodded, slipping one hand into his pants. "You get to me, El. God, when you're being violent and…"

He cut her off with a kiss, grunting and bucking his hips into her, and he moaned when her grip on him tightened. He laughed again, a low and dark sound as he backed her up into the wall for support. He moved his fingers faster as his eyes darkened even more, and they narrowed as he looked at her.

She knew this was how they got in trouble in the first place, but with his problem and her hormones, the will to stop was long gone. The ability to hold out no longer existed. The consequences no longer mattered, not to them. "Please, El," she whimpered as her hips rolled, sucking his fingers deeper into her.

"I'm trying, baby," he said, running his thumb over her swollen clit, working fast. He grunted when he felt her stroking him faster, gripping him tighter. "God, Liv," he spat harshly.

The knock on the door broke them apart, and they quickly straightened up and hurriedly adjusted their pants. "Shit," she spat, running a hand through her hair. They looked almost calm when the door opened.

"Stabler," Cragen said, walking in, "I need to…oh, Benson, what are you doing in here?"

"It's still my case," she said, panting slightly. "I'm handling the vic, so I wanted to watch the confession go down. You won't let me in there, I should at least be able to…"

"Don't you have a file to write up?" Cragen said, snapping at her.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, giving Elliot a look that said, "Can you believe this shit?" She folded her arms and left the room, pushing passed Cragen.

Elliot folded his arms and sighed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked his captain, with as much respect as he could muster. "She didn't do anything to deserve…"

"You don't get to do this," Cragen said. "You don't get to defend her, and you don't get to tell me I'm being unfair. I warned you a long time ago, I told you to stop it, and I told her to cut this out, now she's in trouble. A lot of it." He threw a notebook into Elliot's hands. "Get the confession and let me handle my detectives, my way."

Before Cragen could leave, Elliot spoke, loudly. "How much trouble do you think she's in?" he asked, offended. "You think I'm not gonna be there? You think I'm not gonna take responsibility for this, or stay with her?"

Cragen froze. He turned slowly, and he said, "I think she's gonna be going through this alone, and I thought she had better sense than this. I thought she was smarter, Elliot. I never thought she'd let herself get into this, especially with you. I'm allowed to be a little disappointed, and I'm sure as hell allowed to keep her behind a desk, where she and that baby can't get hurt. Someone has to…"

"Don!" Elliot yelled. "I love her, all right? This isn't just sex, this isn't just her helping me with a problem! She's the reason I have the damn problem!" He ran a hand down his face. "I'm not addicted to sex, I'm addicted to her. And that is my child, I love her and that baby, and I'll be damned if I let anyone, including you, hurt her."

Cragen smirked. "Yeah," he said gruffly as he opened the door. "We'll see." He walked out, leaving Elliot alone in the pit with a notebook, knowing he had a job to do. He growled, both out of anger and frustration. His dick throbbed as he tugged on his tie, the rude interruption had prevented him from releasing the built up tension, and now it was worse. Much worse.

He took a breath and headed back into the interrogation room, slammed the notebook down, and glared at his suspect. "Write it down," he hissed. Then he sat, watching. This day needed to end. Now.

* * *

"Oh, God, Elliot," she moaned, panting as he hit into her. "Right there, baby. Shit. Yes, El!"

Elliot thrust harder, clutching both of her hands tightly, squeezing them as he hit into her. "Fuck, Liv," he hissed. He ground his body against hers, rubbing their bodies together as he twitched inside of her. "All fucking day, all night," he mumbled. "Waiting for this."

"God, I know," she returned, her head falling back as her back arched. "Jesus, Elliot, you feel so…" Her words were turned into moans, loud ones.

"Honey, you gotta be quiet," he said, dragging his hand down her body. "The kids could hear you."

She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "God, this is…oh, Elliot."

He chuckled as he pulled out of her and slammed back into her. He kissed her, trying to keep himself quiet, too, and he felt the pressure that had built in his body come to a boil. He moaned against her lips, pressed her hands into the mattress as he clenched them, and he felt her clamp around him.

She whimpered and shook as she came underneath him, one of the most intense orgasms she had ever had. She trembled as he kept thrusting, and her clit rubbed against his moving body.

He grunted, growled, and cursed as he shot into her, releasing the aggression, the frustration. He kept his kiss long and deep as he mumbled into her mouth. He pulled away once he was able to stay still inside of her, and he breathed hard as he repeated what he said. "I love you." He dropped his head and nuzzled her face softly. "I love you."

She was panting, her body was still pulsing around his, and she moaned softly as she whispered, "I love you, too."

He pulled out of her slowly, gently, and slid down her body, dropping light kisses along the way. He brushed his lips over her stomach lightly, and whispered, "I love you, too."

Olivia's heart lurched. So did her stomach. "El," she said, too quiet for him to hear. She knew, then, that she had been wrong. This was Elliot, and this was more than just his physical addiction and emotional dependence. He really loved her. And now, she thought, she'd be bound to him for life. He didn't have a choice, and he didn't seem to mind.

She ran her hands through his short hair, feeling more emotional than she thought she should.

He looked up at her, tears in his eyes, and he said, "I'm gonna make this right, Liv. I wanna do this, with you, the right way." He crawled back up her body and said, "You're not gonna do this alone."

She furrowed her brow, tilted her head, and she asked, "I didn't think…who told you I said…"

"Cragen," he sighed. "And Rebecca. And Huang. They all think…"He shook his head in shame. "I didn't plan this, but I'm not gonna run from it. I'm here, baby. For both of you. For life."

She looked into his eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. She wasn't sure how she felt. She wasn't exactly thrilled about it, how it happened, and she wasn't excited, but she knew. She was his, too, for life.

**A/N: Elliot's next session with Becky, and another run-in with Alex. Next. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: A revelation. A clarification. An acceptance.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

"Pregnant?" Rebecca asked, her pen in her hand, raised up beside her head as she clicked it in an arrhythmic beat. "She's pregnant?"

Elliot nodded. "I said it three times," he told her, biting his lip and giving a shrug. "I don't know what…you wanna see the little white stick? You wanna see her blood tests?"

"Calm down," Rebecca said, shifting in her seat and dropping her pen. "I believe you, I just…I don't believe it. I thought…you said you were being careful."

He scoffed. "I think we passed careful a long time ago. Ya know…we got caught at work."

"I know, you told me," the doctor said, pulling a strand of hair back into her bun. "Do you think part of you may have done that on purpose?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I thought it would be a real thrill to get fired for fucking my girlfriend on a stakeout. Throw my career away for a hot experince!"

"Stop it, Elliot," Rebecca said, her tone authoritative. "You're aggressive defense won't work in here. I'm not one of your perps, and I'm not Olivia."

"What the hell does that mean?" Elliot asked, folding his arms.

Rebecca smirked. "With perps, you put on an act. The scarier or more violent you can appear, the better chances are that you're getting a confession. With Olivia, you drop that wall. You let her see the most vulnerable parts of you, which you then mask with this arrogant and macho façade. I'm neither a perp, nor Olivia. There is no need to try to scare me into backing off, and you don't have to prove your manhood to me."

"I don't have to prove my manhood to Olivia," he said with narrow eyes. "Or anyone else, for that matter."

"Not even to Kathy?" Rebecca asked, raising an eyebrow.

Elliot stilled. His eyes twitched. "What?"

"You don't think, somewhere deep in your subconscious, you were working to get Olivia pregnant so you could prove to your ex-wife that you are more of a man with Olivia than you were with her? You told me Kathy wanted more kids, and no matter how hard you tried…"

"You think that, on some level, I did this all to prove a point to Kathy?" he asked, offended and disbelieving. "What kind of…ya know, I think you might need your own therapist. If Kathy was a factor in any of this, I would have tried harder to stay the hell away from Liv."

Rebecca smirked. "So then it was to prove a point to your captain," she said. "You were pissed off that he could ever think you'd hurt Olivia, so you…"

"God damn it, Becky! It was an accident!" he yelled. "I didn't purposely, subconsciously, or vengefully get Liv pregnant! We've been having more sex than a couple probably should, and things happen! It's biology, not…" He shook his head and said, "I want this, I do. I want her and this baby, and I came to you to work on my problems so she doesn't have to deal with a first-time pregnancy and me and my fucking needs at the same time!" He ran a hand down his face. "You're not helping!"

Rebecca shifted in her seat again, crossing her legs. "There's your breakthrough," she said.

"What?" he spat.

She laughed and said, "You just admitted that this was, in fact, a mistake, but not one you regret." She leaned forward a bit and said, "You just defended your love for Olivia and your child, and you admitted that you're here because you want to be a father, a provider, and stop…"

"So what?" he asked, cutting her off. "How is that a breakthrough?"

"Elliot," Rebecca said with a smile, "You just proved everyone wrong. You want to be there for her and the baby. You thought that, somehow, everyone telling you their opinions, thinking you were gonna leave her, hurt her, would make it really happen. You just proved, to yourself and me, that it won't."

He titled his head. "Yeah," he said with a nod.

"Now you have to prove it to Olivia," she said. "And I need you to cut down on the workouts, too. You're building up too much testosterone and counteracting the pills by…"

"Right," he said with a laugh. "One thing at a time, huh?"

Rebecca rolled her eyes and said, "Your session ended five minutes ago."

* * *

Olivia, sitting behind her desk with a stack of files, glared at Cragen as he walked passed her into the middle of the room. Her narrowed eyes followed him to the coffee pot, then back toward his office, until finally he turned around with a sigh.

"When are you gonna stop looking at me like that?" he asked, tilting his head.

"When you stop looking at me like I killed your dog," she said. "You're making me feel like shit about something I should be thrilled about."

Cragen scoffed. "Thrilled?" he asked. "You're thrilled about this? The father of your child is an arrogant, self-centered, violent man. He already has four kids, and this baby is at the bottom of his list of priorities. You know that! Not to mention, the conception wasn't exactly planned, or happy. You aren't married, not even engaged. He can leave any time he wants, because he has no obligation to you or this baby. Your relationship is nothing more than a physical fling between a couple of hot-headed cops who can't control themselves. You're bringing a child into this world without any kind of preparation or stability. Yeah, that's really something to be thrilled about."

"Hey!" Elliot yelled, behind Cragen. His face was white with anger, his fists were balled at his sides.

Cragen turned, and Olivia's face flushed as she looked at him. She was ready to cry, ready to hit something, but now, seeing his heavy breathing and bubbling anger, she was also filled with an ache for him that shouldn't exist.

"Apologize to her," Elliot hissed. "You know damn well none of that is true."

"It's all true," Cragen said, throwing a hand up. "You know it."

Elliot took a step, looking down his nose at Cragen. "I'm not leaving her. This happened, all right? It was a pretty big 'whoops' for us, but so was Maureen. Did I walk out on Kathy?" He shook his head and said, "If I love Olivia more than…differently, so much differently than I loved Kathy, then why the hell would I walk out on her when she needs me the most? When I need her more than I have ever needed anyone?"

Cragen felt his stomach sink. He gripped the coffee mug in his hands, he shook his head, and he said, "Get to work. Stabler, you're with Fin. Benson…" he paused, taking in the pain in her eyes. He sighed at it. "Go with them. You only talk to the vic, got it?"

She nodded tersely, biting her lip, and as soon as Cragen walked into his office, she moved into Elliot's arms.

He sighed as he tightened his hold on her, kissed the top of her head, and thanked God that no one was in the room. "It's okay," he whispered. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, no matter what he thinks."

She nodded and pulled away from him. "I know that," she said with a sharp intake of breath. "He…he said…God, El, he made me feel like my mother."

"Whoa, you are nothing like your mother," he snapped, grasping her wrist. He pulled her toward him a bit roughly, looking into her eyes with a fire in his that was almost frightening. "You are not, Liv. You are a much better woman than she ever was, or ever could be. You're more passionate, and kind, and loyal, and you…you're gonna be an amazing mother to our children."

She blinked, forgetting briefly that she was annoyed and scared, and she tilted her head. "Children?"

He looked away from her and let go of her wrist. "I just thought…ya know, I figured…this baby would be the first."

"Implying there would be a second?" she asked, trying to get him to look at her again.

He gave her what she wanted, he looked up, his lip still caught between his teeth. He gave a small shoulder roll and said, "Maybe even a third."

She tilted her head and moved toward him. "El," she whispered, "What are you saying right now?"

He took a deep breath and told her, "I am saying that this is not how I wanted this to happen, but I did want this to happen, Liv. Eventually. When we were stable and serious, but…but I want this. A family. With you."

The look in his eyes had shifted from angry to sincere. She saw in him the face of the father she watched him be for years, the husband she had witnessed him as, the family man she had longed for. "I don't think I have ever wanted you more than I do right now," she said before she could think. After years of waiting, wanting, she finally heard the one thing she thought he'd never say. He wanted a family, a real one, with her. No one else. She knew right away saying it out loud was a mistake, she saw his eyes darken and she saw his lips curl into the beginnings of what would have been an evil smile if he'd kept looking at her.

He turned his head and chuckled, then gave a few side glances around the room. "Come with me," he said, walking fast toward the door.

She raised an eyebrow, but followed him. "Where are we going?"

"You know," he said, his voice deeper than it had been. He turned to his left and pushed open the heavy door. He led her up three flights of stairs, and he pushed open another metal door before turning to face her. "You want me?" he said, tugging on his tie. "No one can see us up here. No one can interrupt us, not up here."

She rested a hand over her stomach as she contemplated. Was it worth the risk? They'd already been caught on the job twice, almost a third time the night before, and now she was strongly considering having her way with him on the roof of their building, while an assignment was lying in the cold on her desk four floors below.

"Liv?" he questioned, stepping toward her. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "For the first time, I'm offering this to you. You said you wanted me, here I am. I'm fine, baby. Waking up early, that shower," he smirked and chuckled. "Trust me, I'm fine."

She smiled at him and leaned toward him, kissing him slowly as his hands moved toward her pants. She moaned when she felt the tug on the material, and sighed into his mouth when her bare skin hit the cool morning air. Her hands slipped up his arms, her fingers trailed up his neck and wound into the short hair on the back of his head.

He pulled her further away from the door, over to the high ledge of the rooftop. He kept his kiss deep and slow, pulling her lower layers off of her skin. "Beautiful," he mumbled against her soft lips. "So beautiful."

She shook her head as she rolled her hips into him, eliciting a moan from him. She heard the clinking of his belt buckle and jingle of change and keys as he pushed his own pants down. She followed the orders his hands were giving her, lifting her hips and right leg as he ushered them around his body. "El," she moaned, feeling his hardness grazing over her mound. "God, El," she whispered.

He hummed as he kissed her again, guiding himself into her slowly. He held her against him and opened his eyes. He looked into hers as he filled her, quiet.

She held his gaze and felt him push, stretch, touch every part of her that he could possibly touch. "I love you," she said, dropping her forehead to hers.

He pulled out of her slowly, feeling her slide around him, and he groaned. "I love you," he told her hoarsely. "So much. You know that."

She nodded, her lips pressed together, and she squeezed her eyes shut when he pushed back inside of her with a groan. Her fingers curled around his arms, her nails scratched along his skin and he seethed. She moaned when he picked up his pace and tightened his grip on her hips. She rocked with him, bucked with him, moaned with him, fell into a dark hole of oblivion with him.

"Tell me you know," he demanded as he panted. He grunted and thrust into her harder. "Tell me."

"I know," she whispered, her eyes drifting shut again.

He slammed into her then, making her moan loudly. "You know what?" he asked, his teeth clenched together.

"You love me," she said on a whimper. "God, you love me, baby."

"Damn right I do," he said, working her faster, knowing this had to be powerful and quick, knowing someone would come looking for them. "God, baby, I do. Never doubt that."

She shook her head as she tightened around him and her head flew back. She cried his name and dug her nails deep into his arms. "Oh, God, Elliot!" she groaned, her back arching as she pulsated, sucking him deep into her and holding him tight.

"Shit, Liv," he moaned. "Oh, God, Olivia, baby," he panted and grunted, spilling into her and holding her close to him. He buried his head in her chest and mumbled something she couldn't understand.

Heaving, she lifted her head and peered down at him. "What was that?" she chuffed.

He shook his head and kissed her softly, pulled out of her with a regretful moan, and said, "Just thinking…how could anyone think so little of me? How could they not…"

"They don't get you," she interrupted. "They don't understand you, or us, and they only know bits and pieces of you. They never get the real Elliot Stabler. I'm lucky. I get him."

"Yeah," he laughed, adjusting himself in his pants. "You get him." He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you."

She straightened up and rezipped her slacks. "I love you, too."

He winked at her and followed as she moved back toward the door, back down the stairs, back into their squad room. Their sneaky smiles faded when they walked in, though, and they saw two angry looking lawyers sitting in their chairs. "Uh, am I interrupting some kind of sleazeball meeting?"

"No," Trevor Langan said. "How could any meeting start without the president?"

Elliot scoffed. "Did you just…oh, you son of a…"

"Elliot!" Cragen barked. "He's here to help you, now shut up?"

"Help me?" Elliot asked, folding his arms. "Why the hell do I need help, exactly?"

Trevor stood. "A motion was filed to throw out the evidence you and Benson collected at the Freeburg place. The man is citing that it wasn't properly collected and then he called your credibility into question. Apparently he thinks two detectives, one of whom is knocked up, fucking in a car could possibly be watching the suspect close enough to…"

"Hold it!" Elliot said, angry. "Watch what you…"

"Oh, please," Cragen interrupted. "It's the damn truth. If you two had been a little more aware, then Tucker wouldn't have had to chase him two blocks. What Langan is trying to say is that if you two take your names off of this case, have someone else reexamine the evidence, then you can resubmit…"

Elliot turned and spat over Trevor. "This was Tucker's idea, wasn't it? We follow his high-profile asswipe for a week, we get him cornered, we get the hard evidence against him, and he gets all the credit?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "It's me," she said. "I'm the problem. Ya know what? Fine, take my name off of the files, the records, everything. Elliot can reevaluate everything, rewrite it all, he can have the commendation and Tucker can have the glory, and we're good, right?"

Langan looked through some papers in his hands, then shrugged. "What do you say, Counselor?" he asked, looking across the desk to a blonde woman.

Alex Cabot turned and looked at Olivia. "You're pregnant?" she asked. The shock became a sad and apologetic look. "That'll solve the problem, yeah," she said. "It's not right, and it's not fair, but it will at least make things more legit…"

"Oh, I don't think so." Elliot cut her off and folded his arms again.

"It's done, El," Olivia whispered to him. She sent a look toward Alex, shaking her head. She turned and walked out of the room, leaving the filled room in silence.

Elliot looked at Cragen. "You're gonna let her do this? You're gonna make us do this!"

"You've left me no choice," Cragen hissed back at him. "You're actions have consequences, Stabler, despite what you might believe." He nodded at the lawyers, then headed toward his office. He shouted over his shoulder, "Get back to work!"

Elliot growled. Olivia unleashed a monster within him, he knew that now, but it wasn't just the desire for sex that drove him. It was the desire to protect her and his child, defend her and his baby. He knew now that his problem had not diminished, but grown. Out of control.

**A/N: Uh-oh! What does he do? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: A moment. A threat. A promise. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

He stood in the doorway of their bedroom, watching her tugging at her clothes. He smiled, noticing the frustrated and awkward expressions on her face. He watched her tug on the top of her shirt, twisting the material this way and that before finally ripping it over her head and tossing it to the floor.

"This isn't fair," she said, throwing her arms up. "I mean, where the hell did they come from?" She gestured to her chest and shook her head. "I just…"

"Liv, you're pregnant," he laughed.

"Yeah, but is the baby growing in my boobs?" she asked, running a hand through her hair. "They hurt, they're oversensitive, and they're fucking huge!"

He chuckled as he pulled her into his arms. "Hello, mood swings," he mumbled, kissing her forehead. "They'll go away soon enough, honey, but right now…your body is just preparing itself for motherhood." He shrugged and kissed the end of her nose. "You read the book."

She looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. "Of course you would like this little side-effect," she said, rolling her eyes. "Call Cragen, tell him that unless he wants me to show up naked, I can't…"

"The closet," Elliot interrupted, smirking.

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Go check the closet," he said, nudging her toward the large, wooden doors. "I'm sure you'll find something you can wear."

She gave him a suspicious look as she walked toward the closet, and when she pulled it open, she froze. "Elliot," she said, her voice just a whisper.

He strode up next to her, wrapping his arms around her eight-week-old belly. "You've got work suits, in a few different sizes. The pants have an elastic waist, really stretchy. And you've got a few dresses, they're pretty…"

She turned fast and kissed him, silencing him. "Thank you," she whispered, drawing him closer to her again. She felt him running his hands up and down her bare back, she moaned against his lips, pressing herself further against him.

He smirked, he knew she could feel the stretch of his lips as they kissed. He chuckled and pulled her toward the bed, snaking a hand down to cup her ass.

She moaned again as she followed him onto the mattress, straddling him as he fell backward. She kept her lips attached to his, moving fluidly with him, and she toyed with the buckle on his belt, making her intentions known.

He moaned her name softly, lifting his hips to help her get his pants off of his body, and he tugged on hers at the same time, practically ripping them down her legs and off of her feet.

She whimpered when he skimmed his hands over her tender breasts, but she relaxed into his touch. He was gentle, taking the care not to squeeze or pinch, showing he was concerned more with her than himself. "El," she whispered, pulling at the waistband of his boxers, "I need…"

"I know what you need," he said softly, rolling over gently. He gripped her panties and slid them down, then slowly moved up her body, dropping light kisses along her skin.

When he met her eyes, she lifted her head to kiss him, wrapped her hands around his thick neck, and arched her body into him, almost begging.

He chuckled, pulling away from her for a moment. "Now, you know how I feel," he teased, letting his hardness rest against her swollen heat for a moment before thrusting. "All the time," he said to her, kissing her again.

She moaned and whimpered, her hands tightening around his neck and her nails digging into his shoulders. He felt bigger for some reason, it felt tighter, more intense. "Oh, my God!" she cried.

"Baby," he grunted, moving slowly for her, "If I'm hurting…"

She shook her head before he could finish. "God," she moaned, her neck rolling, her head falling backward. "It's just so…oh, God, El," she babbled. She pressed her lips to his, stopping all conversation. She arched into him, needed to feel more of him.

He moaned in surprise, her eagerness shocking him. "What, baby?" he asked softly. "What do you want?"

"More," she panted. "Harder," she ordered. She clawed at his back, her body rising off of the bed almost completely as she tried to slam up into him.

"Whoa," he chuckled. "Baby, you need to…" her lips quieted him again. He grunted into her mouth as he moved faster, harder, giving her what she wanted. What she, apparently, needed. He pried his lips away from hers with a low growl and looked down at her, seeing new expressions, new flickers in her eyes. He smirked, knowing that her hormones had fully kicked in, she was completely lost to him now.

She felt her body move, burn, tighten, she felt him move, every inch sliding in and out of her, so intensely. She gripped his skin, hooking her fingers into his arms, meeting every rough thrust.

He grunted and moaned, kissed her and held her, and his eyes rolled backward when she tightened around him. "Fuck, Liv," he spat, thrusting with more power, knowing she was close, knowing it would be one of the most intense experiences they'd ever shared.

She keened and whined, her spine rolling in waves as the burn washed over her. "Elliot," she moaned, scratching down his back. "God, Elliot."

"Come on, baby," he breathed, feeling his own body gear up to fire off, grunting as he moved.

"Oh, my God," she yelled, bending backward, almost angular.

"Shit," he spat, her clenching squeezing him so hard it triggered a volatile release for him. He shot into her with a grunt of her name, slamming his body against hers, sheathing himself fully inside of her and staying there. "God, Liv," he panted, holding himself close to her, in her.

She was breathing heavily, damp with sweat and a smile on her face, and she nodded. "That was…that…we are so…"

"Late for work," he said, noticing the clock and pulling out of her with a moan. "Come on, baby." He kissed her quickly and grazed her belly with the palm of his hand.

She turned her head as he got off of the bed, and her hands dropped to her belly. She felt the haze of pure bliss fade, replaced by nausea. She grimaced as she sat up, padded to the bathroom, and finally understood the duality of pregnancy, the pros and the cons, and she realized that she didn't mind at all.

* * *

Cragen stared at her, his arms folded and his foot tapping. He hadn't said anything to her since she took herself off the last case, and he had so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask. He ran a hand down his face, remembering how he'd yelled at them when they came in late, and how Elliot had stormed into his office and demanded not only an apology but that he lay off of Olivia and treat her with more respect, or he'd walk out and take her with him.

It made Cragen proud, in an odd way, and made him realize that Elliot was serious, and he did care about Olivia. He still couldn't bring himself to accept it all, but he owed her an apology. He knew that much. He sighed as he walked over to Olivia's desk, looking down at her. "Olivia," he said softly.

"Yeah?" she said, her voice low, looking up at her captain.

He cleared his throat, tugged on his left sleeve, and he said, "I just wanted to know…how things are going. How are you?"

She was silent for a moment, as if choosing between answering him or ignoring him. She licked her lips and said, "Well, I'm nauseous all the time, I have terrible gas, I have a constant craving for chili dogs, none of my clothes fit, I get dizzy a lot, I get these horrible headaches, my sense of smell is incredibly strong which, trust me, is not a good thing. I'm tired all the time, I'm constipated, I have no ankles and I think, right now, I would lose in a beauty contest to Munch." She took a breath and said, "That about sums it up. Thanks for asking."

Cragen gave her a small smile and said, "Welcome to motherhood. It's only gonna get worse."

"I know, I read the book," she said. "Stop trying to scare me out of this, you're about eight weeks too late."

Elliot popped his head up and interjected. "You look beautiful, by the way. Munch has nothing on you." He smiled at her, garnering a soft grin in return.

Cragen folded his arms and bit his lip, ignoring Elliot, and he said, "I'm sorry, Olivia. For everything. I know…I know you love him, and I know you…you're gonna be okay." He stepped closer to her and lowered his voice, aware that Elliot was staring at them, at him. "If you ever need anything, Olivia…if he ever does hurt you…"

"He won't." She interrupted him, firmly and severely. "You have to believe that he won't."

Cragen gave her a look. Both a promise and a warning. "I know what I believe, and it's different than what you believe. This is one time I pray that I'm wrong." He looked down and he smiled upon seeing her hand resting on her very small bump. "Eight weeks, is it?"

She nodded, rubbing a circle over the subtle round of her belly. "Almost nine," she said. "And he hasn't left my side."

Cragen gave her another smile. "I'll give it another seven months," he said with a sigh. "If he still hasn't…"

"Captain Cragen," Olivia interrupted, her eyes dark. "I appreciate your concern, but this is my life, and my choice. I don't need your approval. Not on this." She turned back to her computer and said, "I'll have this report on your desk in fifteen minutes."

Cragen sighed again, and he nodded at her before turning to look at Elliot. "She trusts you," he said.

"She should," Elliot returned. "She's right to trust me." His eyes narrowed and he smirked. "I trust her, too. Partners…"

"Exactly," Cragen interrupted. "Partners. Partner, Elliot! This should have never…no, ya know what? I'm done being upset over this. You two…do what you're gonna do, do your jobs, I don't care anymore."

"You never cared," Olivia mumbled.

Cragen turned back to her. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," she said, still typing. "You've known…for years…that I…that what I feel for Elliot…that I wanted…"

"Spit it out, Benson," Cragen boomed.

Olivia turned to him. "You've known for a long time that I had feelings for him, that if this was ever gonna happen for me, that I wanted it with him. If you cared at all, you would be happy that I'm finally getting that. This is happening, and it's with him, and it's what I want."

Cragen looked at her with tears welling up in his eyes. "I do care," he said softly. "And I am happy for you, I am. I just…this is not how this should have happened. I'm worried about you."

"Don't be," she said, shaking her head once. "The great thing about me is, since I had to learn how to take care of myself fast, no one needs to worry about me."

"Hey!" Elliot yelled, irritated.

She smirked as she rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, no one except you."

He smiled at her and nodded, approving of her exception. "Better."

Cragen sighed. "Whether you want me to or not, Olivia, I'm gonna worry about you. You're the closest thing I've got to a daughter…I don't wanna see you hurt."

"You can't see it if you're the one doing it," she whispered to him. She turned back to her computer, typing faster.

Elliot eyed her sadly, his heart both breaking and pounding hard. He looked toward Cragen, who looked defeated. He watched the captain walk slowly toward his office, and he knew that something had finally gotten through to him. He looked back at Olivia and leaned over his desk. "Hey, Benson?"

She looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. "What, Stabler?" she asked, a teasing tone in her voice.

He smiled at her and said, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said, her expression changing from sullen to soft. "Thank you," she said, blinking slowly. "Whatever you said to him that made him apologize…"

"How did you know I said anything?" he asked, squinting.

She chuckled. "I know you," she said. "And I saw you run into his office almost as soon as we got here, after he yelled…"

"Nothing gets by you," he interrupted with a laugh.

"Not when it comes to you," she said, the smirk on her face almost evil.

He narrowed his eyes, he folded his arms, and he said, "So you know."

She smiled brighter, wider, and she said, "I know." She winked at him, turned back to her computer, and finished her report, knowing he was staring at her. She didn't really know anything, but now…she knew he was planning something. Something she wasn't supposed to know about.

**A/N: Next: Elliot surprises her, a session with Huang, and an impulsive act in an awkward place. Review here, or on Twitter.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Just when he thinks he has a handle on it, it bites him in the ass. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to Tstabler©**

He was watching her move, the way her body shifted beneath the material of one of the new suits he bought her. He smiled, knowing that she was keeping his child warm and safe, it was growing inside of her, inside of Olivia. It was something he never thought would happen, and he was amazed by it, making sure he wouldn't take it for granted.

She felt him staring, smirked, and narrowed her eyes at him as she turned back from the coffee corner with a bottle of water in her hand. "What?"

"Nothing you just…you look so…incredible," he said, his eyes wandering over her softer body. "I mean, when you look like you can kill me with your bare hands, you're sexy…but now, the way you're rounding out and…you look beautiful."

She offered him a smile as she sat. "How did things go with George this morning? He tell you anything that Rebecca…"

"I didn't talk to him yet," he said, cutting her off. "He was with a patient. He, uh, he said he was coming by for a bit and he'd talk to me then." He sighed and said, "When Munch gets back with Fin, we have to go down to Saint Mary's, get a statement from Grimes now that she's awake."

Olivia nodded, sipping her water, gulping down her vitamins. "You think she remembers anything?" she asked, taking another sip. "God, why am I so thirsty?"

He chuckled. "I thought you said you read the book," he teased.

She rolled her eyes. "I want an actual reason," she retorted. "I can't just use 'I'm pregnant,' as an excuse for every damned thing."

"Sure ya can, Baby-Girl," Fin said, strolling into the squad room with Munch right behind him.

Munch laughed and said, "You can use that an excuse for anything. 'Sorry I killed my partner, Officer. See, I'm pregnant."

Olivia chuckled. "Yeah, no jury would convict a woman for killing the father of her child if she claims the hormones made her do it. Is that what you're telling me?"

"It's happened," a cool voice from the doorway said with a laugh.

The four detectives looked up to see George Huang in the frame. "Hi," Elliot said, clearing his throat.

"Hello, Elliot," George returned. "How are things with you and Olivia?"

"I'm still with her, if that's really what you're asking," Elliot returned with a snarky tone. "Haven't walked out on her like you thought I was going to."

George scratched his head and made an agitated face. "I didn't think…it was just a professional opinion, Elliot. It wasn't personal. It was based on your…problem."

Elliot scoffed as he got out of his seat. He walked over to George and lowered his voice. "You honestly think I would leave the woman I can't physically be away from for more than ten minutes without going crazy? Your professional opinion tells you that since I can't stop fucking her, I'd leave her?"

"My professional opinion tells me that you're not stable enough to have this child," Greorge whispered. "Elliot, you're gonna have these violent needs and impulses, and in her condition there are some…"

"You don't know jack shit about pregnant women, do you?" Elliot laughed.

George gave him a smirk. "Can't say I do, actually."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "She can handle anything and everything I give her, and she's gonna be just fine, trust me."

Olivia, trying to listen in, shook her head when she found she couldn't hear them. "Take it out of the bullpen, huh? The last thing we need is a traumatized vic walking in here to hear you two talking about the joys of rough sex."

Elliot chuckled. "That's not what we were…"

"We will," George interrupted. "Shall we?" he suggested, gesturing to the stairs leading up to the lounge.

Elliot raised an eyebrow, sighed, and followed the doctor up the steps, turning to look back at Olivia. He smiled at her. She really did look beautiful.

He wasn't happy when he came back down the steps. He grabbed his keys, growled at Olivia, and led her out of the station. He drove too fast, silently brooding all the way to the hospital. He stayed silent, offering nothing more than grunts in responses to her questions.

* * *

After an hour of his growling and huffing, putting up with a vile attitude, she pulled him to the corner of the hospital's visitor parking garage as they left. "What the hell is up with you, Stabler?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Nothing," he snapped.

"Bullshit," she hissed. "You've been moody and irritable since you talked to George, and you almost just slugged the doctor. What did he say to…"

"Drop it," he snarled. He moved to walk away, but she grabbed his arm and turned him around.

She forced him to look at her. "Damn it, Elliot, You have to…"

"You shouldn't have done that," he said, his wild eyes focused on hers. He ripped his arms out of her grip, grabbed her by the shoulders, and eased her back into the wall behind her. "You really shouldn't have done that."

She looked him, fear and shock in her eyes, and her breath left her in a rush. "What…are you…"

He pawed at her top, skimming his hands under the material, lightly squeezing her tender breasts. "You," he cut her off. "We talked about you, and how everyone thinks I'm…not good enough…" he trailed off and dropped his lips to her neck, sliding one hand down to her pants.

"They're wrong," she moaned, feeling him pressing his body into her.

"I know," he returned, his teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh of her throat. "He asked me questions, he made me talk about…what we did, what I wanted to do…what I fantasized about."

She moaned and held his head to her neck. "Oh, God, and what…what did you say?"

He worked his hand into her pants and twisted his wrist, rubbing the pads of his fingers over her sensitive mound. "I told him the truth. I told him about you, being so giving and understanding about this," he said, wriggling a finger underneath the elastic of her cotton panties. "How I will never understand how I got so fucking lucky. I told him that it didn't matter what we did, you enjoyed it. Rough, fast, and hard like this. Slow, soft, romantic like last night. You love everything with me, as much as I do with you, and it's not just about my needs."

She moaned as he pushed a finger into her and bit her neck, forgetting they were in a parking deck, forgetting that if they moved over just a few inches, they'd be caught on camera. She whimpered and rolled her hips, trying to get his fingers deeper inside of her. "God, El, what…"

"I told him that I loved hearing you scream, moan, yell, pray to God, all because of me," he mumbled, loosening his belt with his free hand. "How I can't think of anything but making you cum, making you mine, all day, all night," he told her. "I told him that Becky wasn't really solving the problem. That there wasn't really a problem to solve."

She felt him lifting her legs and she crossed her ankles around his back. "You don't think this is a problem?" she groaned. "I'm pregnant, we aren't even…shit," she seethed, feeling his fingers rip from her and his hard, thick length sink into her in their place. "Oh, God, Elliot!"

"Not a problem," he grunted. "It was, before…but this is…this is just…" he moaned and sank his teeth into her neck, knowing it would drive her mad. He suckled for a moment, leaving a reddish-purple mark, proof she was taken. Proof she was his. "Maybe it is," he shrugged, as if just realizing where they were, what they were doing.

Her eyes rolled and she gripped his shoulders as he pumped into and out of her, she cried his name softly, over and over again, and she slapped against him hard, using his body for leverage. "Maybe," she whispered into his ear.

He growled as he felt her running her tongue and teeth over his neck, it made him thrust harder. He moaned as he sunk deeper, feeling her wet heat coating every inch of him. He slipped his right hand down the front of her body, teasing her overly sensitive nipples through the material of her shirt. He heard her moan and whine, and he chuckled.

She watched his hand move, slinking down her tingling body. She moaned and dug her nails into his back when her eyes landed on his dick, sliding in and out of her, and seeing it made her feel it even more. She bit her lip and whined when she watched him slip his fingers over their working sexes.

The pad of his thumb ran up and down over her swollen, burning clit, while two of his callused digits slipped around his piston and worked at the sides of her folds, rubbing over her wet flesh. He was glad he hand his other hand behind her head, because she threw it back into the wall. He cushioned the blow, then pulled her head toward his for a passionate kiss.

She moaned and whimpered into his open mouth. She sucked and nipped at his tongue, her hands sliding down his back, clawing at him under his suit jacket and shirt. She couldn't believe how relentless he was being, how rapidly his thumb was stroking up and down, directly over her most sensitive spot, making her mew and keen.

It was verging on painful, but he had her supported in every way, ensuring her safety as he took from her what he so desperately needed and gave her what she badly wanted. "Liv," he moaned, breathing heavily against her lips. "Come on, baby. Come on."

"El…El…I…God, I can't…" she bit her bottom lip and let a long hum out, her voice low and shaking as her body began to shudder.

"Yes, you can," he coaxed. He watched her writhing between him and the cement wall, watched her face as her eyes opened and closed, as her lips pressed together. He growled and leaned into her further, his body aching as he held her up and his fingers cramping as he teased her quivering flesh. He sped up and hit into her harder, kissing her and pulling at her lips with his teeth.

She felt his other hand, still resting at the back of her neck, squeezing and holding her tight. "El," she whispered. Her head lolled to the side, her back arched, and her eyes turned to look at him. She looked drugged. She gripped his lower back and moaned his name, her lips lightly parted as she finally clenched around him.

He felt her body convulsing, pulsing around him, and he didn't stop moving his hips. He thrust deeper, slower. He rolled his thumb in slow circles, still over her clit, letting his hand rest on his shaft as he drove into her. "Baby," he murmured, feeling his body tighten. "Oh, fuck, baby."

She held onto him as another wave of tension and release rolled over her and she tightened around him again, this time taking him along for the ride. She heard him grunting her name, his jaw clenched as his body moved harder and faster and he fired off into her.

He dropped his head to her shoulder, kissing the crook of her neck lightly as he held her close, calming down. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. Are you…I don't know what the hell…"

"El," she said softly. "You have to stop apologizing. This isn't your fault," she said as she panted. "I would rather you do this with me than…"

"I wouldn't," he told her. "Even if you weren't here, I would wait until you…that's what no one understands," he grumbled, pulling out of her and dropping her gently down. "It's not just the sex, it's you. I need it to be you. I told Becky that and…ya know, she thinks it's…she thinks it's this fear of losing you that I have that's keeping me so agitated and needy."

She pulled her pants up and flipped her hair back. "Fear of losing me? You're not gonna…"

"She told me when this started that the only way to get over it is to ensure it would never happen," he said, interrupting her. "You're pregnant, you'd think that would make people see that this isn't just some…people still think I'm gonna walk away, or let you run."

She picked a bit of lint off of his jacket as he adjusted himself. "I told you it didn't matter," she said, looking up at him. "It doesn't matter what people think, El."

"I say it does," he said with a nod. "And I know what they…you told me you knew. You knew that I was gonna do this."

"Do what?" she asked, tilting her head.

He smiled at her. "You don't know, then?" he asked with a chuckle. "Good. I can still surprise you." He took her hand and led her to the sedan, and once they were settled inside, he cleared his throat. "You, uh, you remember…well, we have a lot of memories in this car. Huh?"

She chuckled. "Lots of stakeouts, sleepless nights, high-speed chases," she listed. "More recently, a lot of time spent naked, in the backseat. We met in this car, didn't we?"

He nodded. "Cragen made me pick you up, your first day on the job," he said with a warm glance. "You wanna make another memory?"

She rolled her eyes. "We just…you can't be…already? El, even I'm not fully…"

He laughed and shook his head. "Shut up, baby, and open the glove compartment." He bit the inside of his cheek and watched as her hand moved to the plastic latch. He held his breath as the panel popped open and he felt himself turning blue when she reached toward the box inside.

"What is this?" she asked, her hand shaking, now. "El?"

"Open it," he choked out, shifting in his seat. "I was gonna wait…I mean, that's been in there since…I bought it before you found out about the baby, so don't think I'm doing this just because…"

Her surprised gasp as she opened the box stopped his jumbled thoughts. "Oh, my God."

"You like it?" he asked, sounding nervous. "I wasn't sure…you don't wear a lot of jewelry so I didn't know if…"

"It's beautiful." She looked form the sparkling jewel to his face. "Are you…you're not asking me to…are you?"

Biting his lip, he nodded. "I need you," he said, so quietly he was almost not sure he said it. "I need you, and it hurts when you're not around. I don't trust myself without you, and I don't trust anyone else with you. I think…and this is not the reason I'm asking, but I think…this might be it. The solution to the problem. This would convince me, and everyone else, that you're not going anywhere. Ever."

A tear rolled down her cheek and she swallowed. "If this is what it takes," she said, "Yes."

"I haven't asked you yet," he said, his own eyes glistening. "Liv…Olivia…will you marry me? Raise this child with me? Save my ass at home, and at work," he added with a chuckle.

"Yes," she said again, nodding. And as he threw her arms around her and pulled her tight, she exhaled slowly. She looked up at the roof of the car, praying this was not a mistake.

Deep down, though, she felt it was. It all was. She hoped it was just nervous excitement, because this was what she wanted. Wasn't it?

**A/N: Does the ring on her finger calm him down? Make him worse? What do the kids say? Review?**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Has he finally calmed down? Has she?**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Story belongs to TStabler**

Their day was rough. Elliot took a difficult case with Munch, and when he got back to the squad room, his temper was raging. He yelled at anyone who got in his way, and then he yelled at Cragen.

The argument was vicious, with Elliot citing every unfair stunt Cragen had pulled and defending his relationship with Olivia, yet again. When he let the word "fiancée" fly out of his mouth, that's when Cragen yelled back.

The captain cursed loudly at Elliot, threatening to have him transferred or fired, and then he suddenly stopped. He stopped yelling. He stopped moving. He tilted his head and said something no one heard but Elliot. Something that was only meant for Elliot to hear.

Afterward, Elliot turned and walked out of the squad room, catching Olivia's eye briefly. She immediately rose and ran out after him, shooting Cragen a curious look as she left.

They were quiet, almost totally silent the whole way home. They'd showered and changed and got into bed, still without saying a single word to each other. Elliot was brooding, and Olivia knew better than to try to talk to him when he was pissed.

She fell asleep first, her body curled over an S-shaped pillow. She was having a wonderful dream until something drew her out of it. She rolled onto her back, she moaned as she felt him pressing soft kisses to her stomach.

Her eyes fluttered open and her senses focused on what was happening. She heard him whispering, then, and smiled.

"Hey, little one," he whispered, his lips brushing over her skin as he spoke. "It's Daddy. I love you," he said softly. "I love you and your mommy, very much."

"We love you, too," she spoke, brushing her hand through his hair. "So much."

"Do you?" he asked, looking up at her. "I mean, do you, really? Enough to marry me?"

She narrowed her eyes and sat up a bit. "What? Yes, of course I do, El."

He slid up her body and looked into her eyes. "You're not just marrying me because of the baby, are you?"

"No, absolute…" she paused as her head tilted. "Is that what Cragen said to you? Is that why you stormed out of the…"

"Just tell me the truth," he said, interrupting her. He narrowed his eyes and looked at her, biting his lip. "Why did you say yes?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Because I love you," she told him. "Part of it was because I knew this is the only thing that will make you realize I am not going anywhere. Part of it was, yes, the baby, but I said yes because I love you, Elliot. I want to marry you."

He let out a relieved sounding sigh and kissed her softly. He moaned lightly as he ran his tongue over her lips, and when she parted them for him, he deepened the kiss with a soft grunt.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself in him, feeling his hands slip down her body.

He was moving slowly, taking her in, and he took a breath as he realized something. "Liv," he said, his fingers entwining with hers.

"What?" she asked, feeling his other hand working her nightgown higher.

He kissed her, then pecked his way to her neck. "It worked," he whispered. "It's been almost a week. Think about it. Yesterday, today, think about how…I didn't get so…"

"I know," she said, moaning as his free hand rose up her body, pulling the silky material with it. She pulled her hand out of his and moved to his pants, tugging them down. "You know I'm yours now. Not going anywhere. Ever."

He nodded as he tossed the nightgown over his head and peered down at her, smirking as she pushed his pants over his ankles with her feet. "You missed me, huh?"

She laughed and pulled him down to her for another kiss. "I kind of got used to you…"

"No one said we needed to stop," he told her, climbing over her again. "Just because it's not a problem now? Baby, I still want you, all the time. I can just control it now. I don't want to, trust me, but I can."

She moaned, feeling his fingers inching toward her inner thighs. She gasped as his fingers slipped in between her folds, she felt how slick she was when he touched her. "El," she breathed.

He pushed his finger deep into her and grunted. "You make it so hard for me to think about anything else," he told her, twisting his finger before pulling it out. "You're all I need, baby."

She arched her back as he pushed two fingers in, twisted them, and pulled them out. She nodded, her lips pressed tightly together, and whimpered as he began a slow rhythm with his hand.

"I'm gonna make you happy," he promised her. He kissed the end of her nose and whispered, "From now on, we're gonna be happy. We don't have to worry about anything anymore."

She moaned and said, "I was never worried to begin with."

He laughed, pulling his fingers out of her and shifting his body. He gave a small thrust, pushing his firm tip into her, and he watched her face as she stretched around him. He smiled down at her and said, "Neither was I." He bent his head and kissed her, rocking his hips into her and pushing in further.

She moaned his name and scratched her nails down his back. "Jesus," she said, her voice low and soft.

"We can concentrate on work now," he said to her, pulling out. As he thrust in again, he said, "We don't have to worry about getting caught anymore. We can't get in trouble." He kissed her and said, "And when we get home, we'll have the energy to do this right. Slow, baby. Take our time so you know…you know it means something."

She rolled her head to the side and arched her back when he hit a sensitive spot inside of her. "I know it always…"

"I hurt you," he whispered. He kissed her lips and said, "I didn't mean to, but I know I did and I couldn't help it. I needed you immediately, fast and rough and you didn't deserve…"

She kissed him, shutting him up. She lifted her hips, forcing him deeper into her, and moaned against his lips. They found they're rhythm together, then, and moved with each other.

Soft panting noises, low moans, whispered admissions of love and wispy cries of each other's name filled the room as their bodies worked together, hit and slapped into each other.

He held himself up a bit, held onto her, and moved faster and harder until he heard her whimpering. "Yeah, baby," he said. "Come on."

Her head rolled, her eyes slid back, her fingers tightened around his arms. "Oh, God, right there," she moaned. "Oh, Elliot, God."

He grunted and did his best to keep hitting the same spot with each movement of his hips. He knew she was close, he felt her clenching and heard her rapid breathing. "Oh, shit, Liv, you feel so…so fucking good."

"You," she mumbled between her closed lips.

He breathed harder and faster, he bent his head again, and he kissed her. As soon as their lips touched, he felt her clamp around him and he felt her nails dig deeper into his flesh.

She whimpered a high pitch against his lips and started to shake. "Oh, Elliot," she said, her voice shaking almost as much as her body.

He responded with a grunt as he, too, tensed up and came, his release triggered by hers. He thrust his hips twice more, finishing them both off, and he flopped onto the bed, on his back. He pulled her onto him and waited, his breath too fast to speak.

"El," she whispered, her chest heaving, "El, that was…"

"Like it should always be," he said. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, then dropped his eyes to the clock.

He had to be in Becky's office in less than six hours. He smiled, knowing that he could finally be honest with the good doctor, and tell her that he didn't need her anymore. He kissed Olivia's head and took another deep breath as his eyes closed.

In the morning, though, he would realize that he was wrong. He would need Doctor Bond now, more than ever, and his problem was not completely gone. Not by a longshot.

**A/N: One last visit with Doctor Bond, and baby names might be the final solution. Review? (Thank you for all of the condolences and support. And thank you for understanding my absence and lack of updates at this difficult time. You all amaze me. )**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: What is unleashed must at last be contained. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Story belongs to TStabler**

"So, do you know why you're here?" Rebecca asked, clicking her pen.

Elliot breathed a heavy sigh. "You mean it's not the same reason I've been coming to you for the last six months?"

Rebecca chuckled. "You're here for a different reason, you know it." She turned to the side and grabbed a large tote bag, lifted it off of the floor, and handed it to Elliot. "These are yours, by the way."

"Oh, so you're done with my personal thoughts about Liv, now?" he scoffed, taking the bag of notebooks, sticky-notes, and napkins. "This wasn't invasive or anything."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "You're here because you yelled at your boss and stormed out of your unit, and now I have to clear you for active duty. Sergeant Tucker thinks you're a time bomb. And he doesn't want you to explode at work. Again."

"Well, maybe people should watch what they say about me and my family," he snapped. "Then I wouldn't react like that."

Rebecca leaned forward. "You just called Olivia your family." She folded her hands and smiled. "Family is permanent, Elliot, you know that, don't you?"

"Liv's permanent," he said with a nod. "I get that now, I know she's not going anywhere, she's mine." He kicked the bag of thoughts at his feet. "All of these things I've thought about her, written about her…" he shook his head and grabbed a notebook off of the top, flipped it to a random page, and read out loud. "Thinking about her again. Not again. Still. Right now, she's chewing on the end of her pen. I'm thinking I want her lips wrapped around me like they are that pen."

"Poetic," Rebecca teased.

He chuckled and continued. "I'm also thinking that if she ever leaves, ever quits, moves away from this city, away from me, I will never look at a pen without bursting into tears." He dropped the notebook back into the bag and said, "I really wrote that. I really meant that. I looked at her this morning, she had that same pen in her mouth, and I thought…I still thought that I would rather have her lips wrapped around my dick than that pen, but I didn't think…her leaving never crossed my mind."

"Progress," Rebecca said, offering a smile. "So I've got to ask you, and you've got to be straight with me. Do you consider yourself…"

"Cured?" he interrupted.

Rebecca sat back and nodded, then picked up her pen and began clicking it.

"I'll never be cured, Becky." He shook his head and said, "I will always, until the day I die, be addicted to everything about Olivia Benson. Her body, her heart, her eyes, the way she smells, the way she walks…but I also know that now…it's just part me I have to deal with. It's not consuming me the way it was when I was afraid of losing her."

Rebecca tilted her head. "How do you feel about that?"

"Relieved," he said with a smile. "I won't hurt her anymore, we can get things done, and in a few months she'll be my wife, we'll have a kid, everything will be…"

"The way you always wanted it to be," Rebecca interrupted. "The way it should have been."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "You really read everything I wrote in those notebooks," he said softly.

"I did my job," Rebecca returned. "And the true reasons behind your fear and addiction…your secrets…they're safe with me."

"I've heard that before," Elliot said, rolling his eyes. "Look, I gotta be in court in fifteen minutes, can you just sign the thing so…"

"Signed," Rebecca interjected. "I already sent it down to Tucker. Go, Elliot." She smiled and said, "And good luck, with everything. If you ever feel the need to talk about anything, you know, I'm here for you. And Olivia."

He nodded as he rose off of the couch. "I know you are," he said. "And I know why." He caught her surprised expression. "I'm not a therapist, but I'm not blind or stupid either. Don't worry, though. Your secret's safe with me."

"I'm not…I'm not going to try anything," Rebecca said, standing now.

Elliot grabbed the bag of notes and smiled at her, he knew what that smile did to her, and he loved knowing it. "I know. I wouldn't be responsive, and Olivia would kick your ass."

Rebecca chuckled. "I know that. Goodbye, Elliot."

"Bye, Becky," he said, turning the knob and leaving the office.

As he walked away, Rebecca sighed. She had finally ensured that life for two people she cared about, perhaps a little too much, was perfect.

* * *

Olivia looked up, hearing his footsteps. She covered the receiver of the phone and moved her head a bit. "Hey," she said to him with a smile. "How was court?"

"Bastard's doing twenty-five to fifty," he said proudly, standing a little too close to her.

She gave him a thumb's up as she went back to her phone call, just long enough to say goodbye and hang up. "So it went well? Your testimony was…"

"Who was that?" he asked, pointing to the phone.

She raised an eyebrow. "Morales," she said. "He's got the pictures off of Stevenson's hard drive, he wants us to go up, why?"

"Can it wait?" he asked, holding out his hand.

She furrowed her brow and slipped her hand into his. "Where are you taking me?"

He laughed and pulled her out of her chair. "Just come with me." He led her through the hall and toward the stairs, taking her up to the roof.

"El, we've got work to do!" she hissed behind him.

He laughed again. "Remind me, when in the last few months have I cared?" He pushed the door open and pulled her out onto the black, tar-topped roof. He tugged on her hand as he walked toward the edge. "You can see a good chunk of the city from up here."

"Yeah." She pulled her hand out of his and asked, "Did you really put our case on hold to do some sight-seeing?"

He shook his head as he turned to look at her. "I brought you up here to spend some time alone with you. I just…I needed to see you, away from work, away from Cragen."

She tilted her head when she saw the look in his eyes. "El, we…right before we left the house, I thought…"

"Not because I physically need you," he said, assuring her. "I do, I'm not gonna lie, but…this isn't about that." He kissed her forehead. "Five minutes is all I need. Just…five minutes away from everyone down there who thinks I'm an asshole, everyone who thinks we're making a mistake." He kissed her forehead and said, "Five minutes alone with you."

She kissed his cheek, and then his neck, and then she felt him pulling her closer to him. "Five minutes?"

"Maybe ten," he said, a hidden laugh in his voice. "Fifteen." He kissed her neck as his hands slipped under her soft button-down shirt. "Twenty, tops."

She laughed and let him press her into the high brick-faced ledge behind her. "Oh, yeah, you can control yourself. Sure."

He mumbled as he nodded into her neck, working the clasp on her pants open. "I can," he argued. "I just don't want to. There's a difference."

She moaned when she felt that his hand found its destination, in between her panties and her slick flesh. "You don't?"

"And you don't want me to," he told her matter-of-factly as he stroked her to even thicker wetness. "Did Becky talk to you at all?"

She shook her head as her lip was bitten between her teeth. She moaned softly as he pushed a finger into her.

He worked his pants open with his other hand and said, "Good. I think you should here this from me."

"Uh-oh," she whispered, allowing him to lift her up onto the ledge. "Do I wanna hear this?"

He kissed her neck again, moving his hand away from her core. Nipping at her chest through her shirt as he maneuvered between her legs, he said, "Yeah, I think so." He peppered her skin with kisses and aimed himself at her entrance. "The reason I was so scared to lose you, so nervous and desperate to hold onto you…"

She dropped her head back as he pushed into her, moaning softly. "Oh, God," she murmured. "What about it?"

He tugged lightly on her chin, bringing her eyes back to his. "It's because this life, my life with you, is what I've always wanted. Falling in love the right way, asking you to marry me in a way that meant something, easing into this with every ounce of my heart."

She looked confused. "El, what are you…"

"Things were forced and rushed the first time," he interrupted. "I fell in love with Kathy after we were already married, and I fell out of love with her just as fast. With you…God, Liv, it all just felt so right…I had to…"

She kissed him, stopping him from speaking. She rolled her hips, sucking him into her deeply, and moaned into his mouth. She wrapped her hands around his head, scratching at his scalp.

He lost the last of his resolve and began thrusting slowly, taking time with each stroke. He looked down, into her eyes, and he stayed silent except for a few soft grunts.

Her neck bent back, her head rolled to the side, her back arched. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades as she held onto him and she gave a low moan of his name.

Conversation, it seemed, was done. He picked up his pace, he moaned louder, and his hands gripped her body tighter. The old, familiar urges came back, creeping up his legs and hitting every nerve. He clenched his jaw, trying to keep them at bay, but he couldn't. "Fuck," he growled, hitting into her harder.

"Shit," she panted, wrapping her legs around him. She moaned a bit louder then, her noises keeping time with his hard thrusts.

"Fuck," he hissed again, biting her neck a bit harder. "Oh, God damn," he moaned.

"El," she whispered into his ear, turning her head a bit. She looked into his eyes and smiled wickedly. "Harder."

He didn't ask questions, he didn't pause. He simply growled again and worked his hips harder and faster, hitting into her with smacking sounds as their bones and flesh met. He heard her whimpers, and he felt her clenching, and he smirked at her. "You never had a problem with this, huh?"

She chuckled and moaned, spitting out a soft curse as she shook her head. "It was never a problem," she told him, for the last time reaffirming that she was never upset or hurt by his issues.

He bent his head to kiss her as he felt her clamp around him, and his hands instinctively moved to her waist, one palm splaying over her stomach as the other rested on her back. "Come on, baby," he whispered. "Gimme one more, Liv."

She gasped softly as he kept moving, in and out of her, hard and deep. She rolled her eyes back and almost screamed as he slammed into her faster, trying to draw out a second orgasm on the heels of the first. He was doing a damn good job of it, too, as she felt the heat and burn rising again.

"Come on, baby," he cooed, coaxing it out of her physically and verbally. He felt her clenching again, tighter than the first time, and he smiled. "Yeah, baby. Fick, Liv," he grunted, thrusting still.

She gave him what he wanted, what he needed, and she let go. "God, Elliot," she whimpered as she shook in his arms. She held onto him as she lost feeling in her legs and lost her balance.

"I got you," he said, giving one final thrust and cumming, shooting into her with a moan. "Oh, God, baby, I got you."

She nodded, struggling to breathe. "Yeah," she said softly. "You do."

He kissed her and held her close, staying inside of her for a moment. "I do," he said. "For life."

She pulled back a bit and looked into his eyes, understanding now that whatever that first kiss had ignited in him, it had done the same to her. She was getting married, having a child, things that up until now were dreams that would never come true. She saw her life in his eyes and she smiled. "For life."

He tugged her gently and dropped her softly to her unsteady feet. He kissed her and whispered, "I think I created a monster."

She laughed and watched as he redressed her quickly. "I think I may have tamed one," she teased, giving his tie a playful yank.

He looked up at her and nodded once. She had tamed him, but at the same time, she had made him more wild, and more alive than he had ever been. His deepest desires had been unleashed, and realized, and he owed it all to her. "I love you," he said, almost too softly for her to hear.

She took his hand and guided him toward the door which would lead them back to work, back to their grim reality. Just as his hand touched the knob, though, she whispered, "I love you, too."

He smiled at her, gave her hand a squeeze, and took the first step toward the rest of his life, with the only woman who had ever understood him, accepted, and loved him.

His addiction, his obsession.

His Olivia.

**A/N: That was a wild ride, yeah? Thanks for sticking with it, with me. A new fic will be posted soon. Stay tuned.**


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